We like to have an illustration for every post. You will see presently why this one does not have an illustration. In other words, prepare for some eeeeew, yuck! Take it awaaay, Salt Lake County Tribune:

Melvin Parley Pace, 65, was charged in July in 4th District Court with five counts of lewdness with prior convictions, a third-degree felony, as well as five counts of bestiality and seven counts of criminal trespass, which are class B misdemeanors.

That’s 17 counts, if you’re, er, counting. But it’s not the first time he’s caught a case of canine copulation. The courts condemned the creep already this year, for taking “animal lover” in entirely the wrong direction.

This is the second time Pace has been charged with having sex with his neighbors’ Kangal, a large Turkish dog breed.

Maybe he watched Lawrence of Arabia too many times and has it in for Turks?

In the first case, the dog’s owners aimed a camera at the dog’s run after the gate was left open in December 2013. The footage showed Pace enter the dog run and have sex with the dog, according to American Fork police Lt. Sam Liddiard.

In that case, Pace was charged with two counts each of bestiality, lewdness and criminal trespass, all class B misdemeanors. Pace pleaded guilty in February to two counts of lewdness and the other counts were dismissed. He received a suspended jail sentence and was placed on probation for 12 months year.

Yes, this perv Pace was on probation for pooch penetration when he persisted in penetrating the pen — and the pooch — again:

This spring, the dog’s run was again left open, so the owners reactivated the camera, according to charging documents.

The footage allegedly showed Pace — who was still on probation in the first case — having sex with the dog on at least seven different occasions between May 20 and June 28, the charges add.

It gets worse. Perv Pace is not only a doggy-diddling d-bag, he’s also an exhibitionist: 

The dog run is in full view and hearing of two city streets, a business and neighboring homes, according to charges.

via Utah County man ordered to trial for allegedly having sex with dog | The Salt Lake Tribune.

There’s only one punishment that fits the crime here — coat him in lady dog pheromones and chain him down on an anthill, whilst turning loose 1,000 horny male toy poodles to have their way with him.

Why poodles? Why not Great Danes? Irish Wolfhounds? St. Bernards?

Well, we have to have some punishment in reserve for the next time this perv starts feeling amorous toward’s Man’s Best Friend.

This entry was posted in Don’t be THAT guy on by Hognose.

About Hognose

Former Special Forces 11B2S, later 18B, weapons man. (Also served in intelligence and operations jobs in SF).

8 thoughts on “This guy really screwed the pooch. No, really.


A Blink 182 fan perhaps?

Hognose Post author

I’ve only heard a couple of songs by Blink 182. I listen to older music (1960s British mostly) or much older music (Baroque) most of the time. I did like the Blink 182 stuff I heard, though. Not enough to be called a fan, really.

Dyspeptic Gunsmith

Holy crap.

I would have thought a Kangal would have tore him up pretty well. They’re not a dog to trifle with in my experience.

Hognose Post author

I was unfamiliar with the breed so I looked them up. Close resemblance to the Afghan mastiff, raised as a fighting dog, that I fought in Afghanistan’s Madr Valley (and I wound up riding an HH-60Q to medical treatment. Thanks, California Army National Guard). The dog survived although the TF commander gave me permission to whack it. (The Afghan Kandak SGM, a guy about as hard as Afghans get, begged me not to with tears in his eyes). However, my Afghan sparring partner was smaller than is type norm for a Kangal.


Put a .22 pistol behind the guys ear. Pull trigger. All those in favor say aye.


The guy might like the last part of your punishment, Hognose. Or if he did, I wouldn’t really be surprised.


I more of a Trading Places:

Put him in a gorilla costume, glue it closed, and ship him Africa with an amorous male of the species.

Definitely time to thin the herd.


Absolutely sick. I have a very good head catcher that we use for working the cattle and the proper tools to make him a steer. Anyone want to herd him over here?