The Thin (and Neat) Blue Perv

Quick, what would happen to you if systematically used the threat of force (or abused the color of authority) to try to intimidate people into sex with you?

If you’re a gay cop, apparently, not much. A cop named Jason Miller in Newton, New Jersey (where guns are outlawed and the cops are the worst people in a state that starts off with its average below average) used to use blue lights and intimidation as a way to get oral sex from random men and boys.

He’d pull over some guy he took a shine to, and approach the motorists car with, instead of a ticket pad, something, uh, else, in his hand; you could take the ticket or you could kiss him there and make it all better.

Miller either unzipping or (more likely) zipping up. Little of this kind of video was available because he customarily turned his camera off. As you can see, he’s not thin and neat, so the Seinfeld reference in the title doesn’t fit. But we couldn’t resist it anyway.

If a regular guy used a power relationship that blatantly to get sex — say, a professor greeting co-eds at office hours, unzipped and tumescent — the State of New Jersey would zang him so far back in the cellblock that his gruel would have to be delivered by GPS-enabled drones. But a different set of laws apply to the law’s insiders.

Indeed, Jason Miller is a perfect storm of two minorities beloved by prosecutors and courts — gay rapists, and dirty cops. He got away for it for a very long time, until two of the motorists he’d waggled his truncheon at called a tip line and exposed him (pun definitely intended).

The prosecutor forbore to charge Miller with any felony. Furthermore, he’s only asking for sixty days, and, Miller has to promise not to work as a cop any more. In New Jersey. (Hey, the Chester, PA Police Department has room for guys like this).

Jason Miller, 37, appeared before Judge Thomas Critchley in Sussex County Superior Court Monday with his attorney, Anthony Iacullo, for the first time since being arrested in November 2014.

Under the terms of the agreement, Miller pleaded guilty to turning off the video and audio components of his patrol car’s dashboard camera system “to conceal unprofessional and inappropriate conduct” between March 1, 2014 and Oct. 23, 2014.

If there’s no video from the dashcam, the cop’s story is always a lie. That needs to be written in to the Rules of Evidence. But as the photo above shows, there was some dashcam video of Patrolman Perv.

Additionally, Miller, who is currently suspended indefinitely without pay from the Newton Police Department, will be barred from seeking employment as a law enforcement officer in New Jersey, Sussex County First Assistant Prosecutor Greg Mueller said.

The state is also seeking that Miller serve 60 days in county jail, as well as be subject to a probationary period of between one and five years, Mueller said.

via Newton cop, accused of exposing himself during traffic stops, takes plea deal | NJ.com.

His mouthpiece — it’s not clear is Iacullo is the go-to defense attorney for gay rapists, or if Iacullo is the Police Benevolent Association’s retained guy for dirty cops — is no doubt pressing to let him off with Time Not Served.

You have to wonder how many other cops on Miller’s department knew about this behavior before a couple of citizen’s complaints did him in.

Remember, in places like New Jersey, police like Miller are the only ones who can be trusted with firearms. The same way they’re the only serial rapists who can be trusted to walk free in two months or less.

UPDATE

Here’s an incident at LiveLeak, that answers, in part, the question in the initial paragraph of this article. (Note, badly digitally-clipped audio). In the video, a guy is being arraigned on charges that he impersonated a cop for sex, or, more specifically, used the threat of arrest to get a hooker to give it up to him without him using a condom. His attorney does his best to spring the guy, arguing that the words of the statute imply that what his client, Dindu Nuffin, dindu is not a crime. But you can see this suspect get hammered a lot harder by the judge (even in the arraignment phase) than Miller did — because he wasn’t really a cop using his cop-hood to get laid, he was pretending to be, and mere impersonators don’t inherit this droit du seigneur that New Jersey law apparently extends to the state’s dirty cops.

(Editor’s note: looking for an illustration for this we googled ‘gay cop’ thinking (1) there was probably such a thing as gay cop pr0n, and (2) the search results would probably a G rated but suggestive image to use here. Answers: (1) oh yeah, and (2) not really. There is not enough brain bleach in the liquor cabinet. Worse, it now is in google’s memory of the crap we have searched for. We’re going to see some, can we say, queer suggestions in the weeks ahead. Dumb, dumb, dumb. -Eds.)