When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Hockey Sticks

badgley_mugshotThis pimply perp pranged his mom with the aforementioned sporting implement. Why? Because he’s a sphincter muscle, sure, but more immediately because she declined to fund his Taco Bell craving. She turned him down for the simple reason that she didn’t have the money in the account to feed him. (We’re getting a sense that this did not eventuate in one of the neighborhoods that the local 1% chooses to settle in).

It wasn’t right then that he lost his $#!+. Instead, he took the card anyway, and when it didn’t work — she told him the truth, there was no money, that’s when he came back with mayhem on his mind and a hockey stick in his mitts.

Investigators allege that Logan Badgley, 22, argued with his mother Saturday evening “because he wanted her debit card so he could go get some Taco Bell.” Though Badgley’s mother told him “there was no money in the account,” he “took the card anyway and left the residence.”

In short order, Badgley returned to the family’s home in Lakeland, a Memphis suburb. The victim told cops that her son was angry because he had discovered the card could not cover his Taco Bell purchase.

According to a criminal complaint, Badgley confronted his mother in the garage, where he “grabbed his hockey stick” and struck her on the left side of the head. The blow knocked the woman to the ground, where she lost consciousness.

You might think that some quantity of that powerful elixir, Judgment Juice®, had been involved. You might be right:

Badgley told police that he had “consumed a few alcoholic beverages during the night” and “did not want to provide his side of the story.” Officers, who placed the hockey stick into evidence, noted that the victim suffered a 1” laceration to the head.

via Man, 22, Denied Taco Bell Batters His Mother | The Smoking Gun.

taco-bell-chihuahuaGoing to jail over Taco Bell? Look, we’re not going to say we know what’s in that stuff, but we notice that the little dog that used to be in the ads has come up missing. Coincidence?

Meanwhile, where Badgley is going, it’s not the chalupa he’s going to have to be worried about dropping.

17 thoughts on “When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Hockey Sticks

  1. James

    Yeh,a bit of work but skippy,you can’t make a few tacos but can beat your mom?!How about getting a job/buying some some stuff and just making them,damn,what a douche.

  2. David

    Bill – probably depends on the charge. I have been on a jury in Memphis and they bang them pretty hard for murder. Has to go to trial, though.

    1. Chris W.

      Doesn’t say he killed her, only knocked her unconscious – which is bad enough, but not dead.

  3. Chris W.

    Hognose, I just ran across this and would love to hear your take on it:

    First, Original Link: https://news.fastcompany.com/leaked-army-video-shows-a-future-of-urban-hellscapes-4023336

    Originally looking at the link I though it had to do with “future urban helicopters” – must be because I just got off the phone with my Uncle who was a Chinook pilot in Vietnam and after. Retired Light Bird, my Godfather, and damn nice guy. Lucky I get to see him several months a year when he comes out to Arizona from North Virginia.

    Second, Direct to YouTube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEPdOZbyzbw

    Looks like someone has recognized that our future conflicts will be mostly urban and 4th Gen Warfare.

    1. Hognose Post author

      Dang, he flew Chinooks when no pools of red fluid on the ramp meant you were out, and about to have hydraulic failure. I hated flying in those things. Sometime around 1988-95 and the E and F models they seemed to solve all the ship’s problems and it was incredible. Most people think attack helicopters are faster, but the ‘Hook is the fastest helicopter in the world Army inventory.

      About urbanization: I wrote a paper on this decades ago, arguing that increasing urbanization meant we had to reorganize clandestine/covert recon around smaller teams and consider hide-in-plain-sight strategies. Because the signature of a six to eight man team is too high to sneak through suburbia. It dropped like a rock, nobody was interested. But then I was a nobody, not someone with a Kennedy School of Bad Government pedigree.

      One development since then is people staying put in war zones. Really sub-optimal survival strategy. May be tied to “insha’allah” fatalism, but every war zone is full of noncombatants these days. Russians taking now approach US took in WWII: they wanna surrender, fine, otherwise “sucks to be them.”

      1. Chris W.

        My Uncle has some stories from when he was training rotary wing pilots that are awesome. I hope he starts on his memoirs soon, they’d be scary good.

        Just talked to my Uncle and he laughed at your comment. He mentioned that it wasn’t uncommon for the pilot/co-pilot to have oil stains on one shoulder or the other (depending on which seat they were in) from the leaking transmission fluid. There was supposed to be a drain hose attached to the forward transmission and some sort of pan to catch the leaks, but the hose would clog and it would drip on their shoulders. From what he said, he thinks they had about 2000psi on that transmission line (he only flew them up to the D model) and if it sprung a “misting” leak that was really bad as the fluid was flammable and all it needed was an ignition source to really ruin your day!

        One other thing he mentioned was that the blades were sync’d via a driveshaft between the two rotors and if that broke, the manual stated that you should exit the helicopter immediately. The blades would destroy each other as they overlapped…he said he never saw an Army parachute the entire time he was in. LOL.

        1. Hognose Post author

          Nowadays the Hook is very often used for parachute training and proficiency. Fast ride to altitude. Army aircrews do not have parachutes (well, the OV-1 Mohawk had ejection seats, but it was an oddity).

          There was a bad accident in Germany in 75 or 76 when a Hook got out of sync due to a damaged gearbox. Turns out they used walnut shell media to clean it. Then blew them out with high pressure air. OSHA made the overhaul shop lower the air pressure, and the media that remained gradually ruined the gears. ISTR 44 died, the aircrew and German skydivers participating in an airshow.

          I think that one incident killed more people than the bums at OSHA ever saved, total.

          1. James F.

            Mannheim, 1982, 46 killed:

            ” A story handed down through time via word of mouth was the failure of the Input Pinion Capsule was caused by walnut grit blocking the lubricating oil journals inside the transmission. For many years prior to this accident, walnut grit was successfully used as an effective cleaning agent for the transmissions during the overhaul process. It is softer than the base metal, but harder than the contaminants that accrue inside the transmission. Shortly prior to this accident a procedural change in the process was made. Inspectors working for the Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) examined the working conditions at Corpus Christi Army Depot. It was noted that high pressure air, approximately 3,000 PSI, was used to blow the walnut grit out of the oil journals. This high a pressure was deemed dangerous to workers and it was ordered that the pressure be lowered. As a result, the walnut grit was no longer completely removed during the cleaning procedure. Eventually, when the transmission was placed into service, the walnut grit would flow through the oil passages and accumulate in a point blocking a journal. A bearing would fail from the lack of lubrication.

            Whether or not the preceding paragraph was entirely true is not clear. What was known was that walnut grit did indeed block the oil journals and cause the failure of the Input Pinon Capsule. Flight Engineers serving in the Army from that time period reported that this accident resulted in a fleet wide grounding and inspection of all transmissions. They went on to report that most of the operational fleet contained walnut grit in many of the transmissions.”

            Link, includes depressing pictures, in nick.

          2. Chris W.

            I’m horrified by that story. Did they ever determine if there was some sort of hydraulic failure of the doors preventing escape? I’ll ask my uncle about this and see what he says – I’m sure he was flying them at this time…although he doesn’t like to talk about the Vietnam years (this was obviously after), he might have a comment on this.

            Hoping it isn’t still classified whatever he knows about it – he did mention last night that he had access to a lot of classified info while he was in and if he had done a tenth of what one of our aspiring leaders had done with that data, he’d be done. He knew the penalties for mishandling intel (as I’m sure Hognose could testify when he had access) and never would consider being lax in the handling of such. (Not trying to turn this political, just musing).

            Sad and disturbing that OSHA, whom we entrust to make things safer, may have ultimately caused this accident.

          3. Hognose Post author

            Accident happened too quickly. One skydiver exited a side door but not in time to pull his stuff. He hit a few feet from the aircraft, which landed on its side across a four-lane divided highway. (Autobahn?) Fortunately no one on the ground was killed.

  4. Chris W.

    I actually posted my first comment before I read the article (comment and associated links having nothing to do with this article). Now I’ve read it and I laughed out loud at the chalupa inference! Thanks again!

  5. Alan Ward

    One inch laceration…you can tell they’re not from up here in the great white north…mom would have taken the stick, speared him in the goolies, called the Mounties, stitched it up herself then laid junior out cold so the horsemen would only have to drag his unconscious carcass to the joint.

  6. Jim Scrummy

    Taco Bell? Seriously? The shat just isn’t right with too many people these days.

    Another joyful Sunday afternoon of no NFL. I don’t miss it. They SJWed themselves. That’s what happens when you have a card carrying meathead running your organization.

    1. Chris W.

      My wife still watches, but I’m abstaining. Find I get a lot more done on Sundays without it!

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