When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Sex Toys

CensoredOkay, this story is seven years old, but it still comes up on a Maryland TV station’s website’s most-read list (which is how we found it). It explains a lot about the MD electorate and demonstrates the Bubba the Gunsmite approach to… er… physical pleasure.

The victim, a 27-year-old woman, was reportedly injured and bleeding. She was later flopicture wn to Prince George’s hospital center by Maryland State Police helicopter.

On Wednesday, Saint Mary’s County Sheriffs released an update on their investigation. Detectives conducted an investigation which determined the injury was a result of a consensual act between two parties and no crime was committed.

Jeepers, what kind of “consensual act” requires one of the participants to be life-flighted to hospital? Ummmm… this kind:

The accident was reported to local fire and rescue personnel about 1:30 a.m. on March 7,  from an address on Rogers Drive.  The man who made the 911 call said he had placed a sex toy over a saber saw blade, and then used the power tool on his partner, but the blade cut through the plastic  and injured the woman.

Pretty classy, TV newsies, for bringing up the address so everyone can drive by and gawp at the weirdos who

 

via Woman Injured In Sex Toy Mishap | wusa9.com.

7 thoughts on “When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Sex Toys

  1. Mr. AR-10

    I remember this from a few years back.

    So the guy just duct taped a plastic willie to a sawzall with like a 7 inch blade in it, is that what this is saying?

    Why didn’t he remove the blade and machine something sensible (at least a little sensible compared to using the blade!) on a Bridgeport. something a little safer and attach that instead?

    1. Hognose Post author

      I’m thinking the intersection of the two sets:

      1. Inclined to improvising sex toys with duct tape, baling wire and anything else you may find in a barn; and,

      2. Capable of doing anything with a Bridgeport except for looking at it like a hog lookin’ at a wristwatch,

      Is what I vaguely remember a mathematician calling a null or empty set.

  2. Pingback: When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Vibrators | WeaponsMan

Comments are closed.