ISIL Cures AIDS!

ISIL flag

ISIL flag. Anybody’s guess what the circle represents…

It’s true. A bunch of ISIL goons became infected with HIV on Boy Love Thursdays (no, they totally insist it was from their kufr sex slaves, yeah, that’s it) and the Clown Caliphate has decided to cure them of AIDS, and all other earthly worries, in one big FOOM.

Islamic State militants infected with HIV from sex slaves have been ordered to become suicide bombers.

The twisted terrorists contracted the disease from two Moroccan women they had captured.

Now at least 16 of the militants have been told they must blow themselves up, reported the Daily Mirror.

“Islamic State leadership is planning to assign suicide attacks for its militants who are tested positive with AIDS,” a civil rights activist in the city of al-Mayadeen in east Syria said.

“Most of those infected are foreign militants who had sexual intercourses with two Moroccan women.

“The women passed on the disease to the militants before their infection was revealed.”

The men are now being held in quarantine before they are forced to meet their fate.

“We were ordered by the group’s local leadership to transfer the infected militants to a quarantine center in the city,” said a Syrian doctor.

via IS order HIV-infected militants to blow themselves up – NY Daily News.

Great. It’s bad enough to worry about these ‘splodydopes crashing one’s parties, but now you have to treat the post hoc frags of splodydope as biohazard.

9 thoughts on “ISIL Cures AIDS!

  1. Kirk

    We already were treating the remains as biohazard, at least if you’re following protocols.

    Frankly, I think that we’re going to have to start worrying about this aspect of things even more than we do, already. Given that they are approaching nation-state levels of resources, I don’t think it’s going to be too long before we see them embracing bio-weapons.

    If you examine the ideology, the “true believers” claim they want to trigger the apocalypse, and have the final battle of Armageddon somewhere near a specific village in their territory. Given that, I think they’re going to eventually embrace North Korean tactics of legerdemain, in order to draw us in for this “final battle”. Such techniques are likely to include the establishment of bio-weapons labs, chemical weapons facilities, and nuclear programs, ones that they think we’ll have to send in troops to destroy.

    Long run, sharing the planet with people seeking to immanentize the eschaton is a non-starter; we’re going to be forced to do something about these people or die in the fires they start.

  2. Doug

    Brings an entirely new dimension to the idea of germ warfare.
    If Ebola begins among the ranks, they are gonna run out of plastic.

  3. John Distai

    I’m a bit surprised they can test for AIDS.

    There was some episode of The Unit with a somewhat related plot. Some guy in the Middle East had budding terrorists that were infected with something, and they were on their way to getting onto planes. Their final destination was the U.S. , where they would spread whatever diseases they had before expiring themselves.

    “Snake Doctor” blew them all up before they could enact their nefarious plan.

    1. Hognose Post author

      That must have been in the first season, where they actually fought enemy forces between banging each other’s wives. In subsequent seasons, the enemies were all Hollywood fantasy: the CIA, corporate CEOs, and the ever popular neo-Nazis. As long as Hollywood thinks the Nazis are coming back we probably don’t need to worry about realistic plots coming back.

      1. John Distai

        I believe it was in the first season.

        As I thought about my comment more, I realized that it was written from the position of an arrogant bias. One that is probably rampant amongst American’s, and would get us killed in combat – For whatever reason, I tend to think of “the other guys” as “dummies”, and that we are superior. In reality, they probably aren’t as dumb as I imagine.

  4. TrT

    Im not sure this’ll stop at 16, considering as well as raping the two “patient zeros”, the 16 infected will also have raped many other women, who will in turn have been raped by many other ISIL fighters.

    1. James

      Doug is right. Got to be a bio-weapons plot by the CIA. We know that the ranks of ISIS is full of a bunch of sexual deviants, so why wouldn’t we use that weakness against them? Heck, if even all they got was the clap it would reduce their ability to fight. Serves them right, poetic justice.

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