Hey, let me use your gun! I need to use your gun to take care of some niggas who robbed me.
For some reason — perhaps a deep-seated conviction that #BlackLivesMatter? — the detective turned Mr Hall down, while noting that the man seemed somewhat the worse for drink and/or drugs.
We’ll let Detective Vargas tell the story, preserving the poetry of his own imperfect but functional grammar and syntax:
On January 22nd, 2015 at approximately 07:13 hours. I was walking into the Boynton Beach Police Department from the patrol parking lot when I looked over and seen two black males standing on Northeast 1st Avenue engaged in an argument in front of the Boynton Beach Police Department sally port.
Note to malefactors everywhere: the world is yours. Electing to use the part of it immediately adjacent to the cop shop is sub-optimal planning. Now, back to Det. Vargas, whom we so rudely interrupted:
As I continued to walk towards the police department one of the males, later
identified as Deondrae Hall, called me over and asked “HEY LET ME USE YOUR GUN!” Upon denying his request and questioning him why he wanted to use my gun, Deondrae stated “I NEED TO USE YOUR GUN TO TAKE CARE Of SOME NIGGA’S WHO ROBBED ME’.
Now, why would Mr Hall ever think that a detective would lend him a gun? Was the guy on something? Well…
As I walked closer to investigation, it was obvious that Deondrae was either under the influence of narcotic’s or alcohol as his eyes were glassy, blood shot, slurred speech and the questions that he was asking were not fitting for a person within his normal facilities to be asking a police officer. At this time, Sgt. Wallace was exiting the police department and observed what was occurring. As Sgt. Wallace walked over towards us, Deondrae asked Sgt. Wallace “HEY I NEED TO USE YOUR GUN! It was at this time, Deondrae was removed from his bicycle in which he straddled and placed under arrest for Disorderly Intoxication, pursuant to
Florida State Statute 856.011, as his repeated requests to use and/ or need a firearm to handle an incident that took place only reinforced the belief that if released he would endanger the safety and/ or property of another.
And now we see another reason not to do your criminal bidness on the doorstep of the municipal coppery:
Search incident to arrest. I located a small translucent pink bag which contained a small amount of a white powdery substance which I suspected to be powder cocaine due to my training and experience. Suspected cocaine later tested positive for the presence of cocaine after I utilized a NIK cocaine test kit.
And, for those of you who might be inclined to emulate Deondrae, write this down: do not go out of your way to have discussions with cops when your hip pockets are full of contraband. It just isn’t prudent, although we think “prudent” is an adjective never, ever used to describe Mr Hall.
Do you think he could do anything to make his situation even worse? Why, yes; yes, he could, as it happens:
Subsequently, Deondrae made a threatening statements towards Sgt. Wallace and myself which were believed to have been made to influence and/ or change the outcome of this case. This threat was *I HAVE A GLOCK 40 FOR YOUR PUSSY ASS BITCH!” Deondrae also made several obscene commits such as “FUCK YOU JUICY PUSSY CRACKER BITCH!” & “BITCH MOTHER FUCKER!” Some of these obscenities were announced and yelled several times
Needless to say, that affidavit supported several charges against the imprudent Mr Hall.
Not that the readers of this blog need them, but there are a few handy rules of thumb for interacting with the police, like:
- Don’t seek them out when you’re all messed up;
- Don’t go out of your way to contact them when you’re doing something illegal;
- Don’t ask them to assist you in your
- Don’t resist when they’ve decided to arrest you. That decision means you are getting arrested; all resistance can do is get you a thumping, and more charges. And guess what? You’re still arrested.
- Don’t threaten the cops. First, the sheer volume of threats means the cop’s certainly been threatened by someone more intimidating than you, and yet, he’s still here.
- If you are going to threaten a cop, don’t threaten him with a gun he knows you don’t have, because you were just asking to borrow his.
Contra every TV detective show, ever, most criminals are not cunning masterminds; they’re lamebrains like Deondrae, who couldn’t think themselves out of a life of crime.