The Answer is Obvious

As graduates of Benning School for Boys, we were interested to see this.

Mike Crumbley of the Georgia Department of Natural Resources says feral hogs are a major problem at Fort Benning. He says they’re also encroaching into Columbus.

…but a little mystified that they’re having a hard time imagining a solution. The disposal of some problem hogs has been outsourced:

Rod Pinkston, who owns an animal control company, says those hogs were tracked using night-vision scopes and then blasted with a shotgun.

And they’ve sent to Auburn University for some expertise. In what, semiotics? For crying out loud, this is Fort Freaking Benning, the home of the Infantry. There are tens of thousands of qualified (and bacon-loving) shooters, and all the AR-15s they could possibly ever need. (True, some of the M16s are a little rattly after passing through the sore and tired hands of sixty or seventy Ranger classes). Why hire the skills you already have?

Really, it’s not like they didn’t generate a Final Solution to the hog problem once before:

The Ledger-Enquirer reports that base officials … once put a $3 bounty on a hog’s tail to reduce their numbers.

If they were really thinking, they’d charge the GIs $3 per hog, and put the money towards a wounded warrior charity. (And the PX would sell a bunch of freezers. Cha-chingg!). All problems solved for the base officials, irate gardeners, broke familes, bored riflemen, and even the hogs. It’s not like they’d have any more worries, right?

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