crashed cycle signPerhaps “meeting” isn’t exactly the word, because she didn’t see us coming, and we’re only here at all because we saw her first. She was pretty, blonde, liberal, preoccupied, and in a hurry. The first two characteristics were evident at a glance (we did not explore the blonde-ness for authenticity. Odds are, not; but there’s no direct evidence either way). The “preoccupied” follows from the fact that she was in an enormous luxo SUV — the sort successful men buy their wives for “safety” when they know the wife is such a bad driver that even a Volvo will not preserve her nor the posterity from the inevitable impact — and in heavy traffic due to a lane closure for construction, and on her cell phone. “Liberal?” Massachusetts plates, and driving as if mere proles were less entitled to the roadway.

And the “hurry” was demonstrated when she exited the one traffic lane and ran our bicycle off the road. We, and the bicycle, are repairable.  The soccer mom in the Lexscalade further demonstrated her hurry by taking off (she never stopped yammering on the cell phone, or, for that matter, looked up). And despite having the means, motive, and opportunity, we restrained ourselves and didn’t draw and improve the gene pool by blowing her into Organ Donor City. Actually, “restrained ourselves” isn’t really true, because the thought never really occurred to us, and we didn’t think about how liberal ladies in Lexscalades intersect with liberal ladies losing it over gun owners until we read a few lines of Hersch Smith’s at the Captain’s Journal. He is riffing off an airhead’s anti-gun articles at Ms. Magazine. (We know what you’re thinking: ‘What, Ms. Magazine is still publishing? Didn’t they turn into trolls after burning their bras in 1971 or something?’). El Capitán:

The drama is exhausting and breathtaking. But the thing that really worries me isn’t that she has a gun. It’s that bimbos like this can purchase an SUV the size and weight of my Ford F150 and drive it down the road with screaming kids in the back whilst jabbering on the cell phone attached to her ear, after qualifying with a driving test that a monkey could be trained to take. Makes you stop and ponder, no? It’s one reason I drive so defensively on the road nowadays.

Well, you’ve heard enough. Heidi went into the experiment choosing to endanger herself and others, be irresponsible, and conclude that we should all be controlled in the same way she needs to be. It’s called by various names, e.g., reasoning in a circle, assuming the consequent, etc., and it’s perfectly innocent and benign as long as you don’t try to prove anything that way. Heidi has proven nothing except her own predilections and predispositions. What she says basically has no bearing on responsible gun owners.

“Heidi” is one Heidi Yewman, who — and we are not making this up — carried a gun irresponsibly for 30 days to demonstrate, we are not making this up either, that irresponsible people can get and carry guns. Irresponsibly.

Not sure what the masthead motto of Ms. Magazine is, but if this is the sort of story they publish, it ought to be “No $#!+, Sherlock, with a faint aroma of burnt bra elastic.” Our recommendation to you: don’t do like we did, and follow Smith’s links to the articles. The stupid stings the eyes (or maybe it’s the bra-combustion copolymers and other byproducts). Just read his two takedowns: first article and last article.

This entry was posted in Lord Love a Duck on by Hognose.

About Hognose

Former Special Forces 11B2S, later 18B, weapons man. (Also served in intelligence and operations jobs in SF).

2 thoughts on “Meeting a soccer mom, and what’s wrong with Ms. Mag on guns


Old time motorcycle bikers frequently carried pockets full of ball bearings to gift over their shoulders on roadholes like that, en passant.

Bicyclists should consider rocks, or for the dual utility (as in “you can eat it”), extra fruit.

An apple, orange, peach, and suchlike has quite a bit of heft, usually sufficient to dent an SUV, and gum up the paint, generally doesn’t fingerprint well to the authorities, and I doubt, in recorded history, you’d find anyone with a citation for throwing fruit at a-holes. BTW, the incident you described is generally the letter of the description of “leaving the scene of an accident which you have caused”, treated in most states as a felony if there is any injury, and a misdemeanor if not.

Without a license plate and description, the police are loathe to stop their depredations on donuts to take the report, so that generally leaves the fruit and rocks options.

For the tech-savvy with a bit of coin, a pair of Hero GoPro cameras front and rear stops a lot of nonsense, and documents all sorts of things (like license plates, and drivers faces, esp. talking on cell phones) with an amazing admissable-in-court sort of artistic rendition, onto handy removable chip memory sticks.

The fruit is cheaper and more personally satisfying, the cameras more existentially useful.

Do not, under any circumstances, combine both options.

Heard about the Ms.-guided Hagazine full-retard test elsewhere, and was disappointed only by the fact that the Wankette writing it didn’t go postal at work on her monthly PMS Day, for the win, or simply attempt to clean the piece with her demonstrated lack of common sense and forethought, and shoot herself. Perhaps she’s outlining a follow-up piece for the fall.

We live in hope.


She was probably on the phone encouraging her daughter to enlist and give Ranger School a shot.

Would bet my full hand that she was a feminist….as they are void of reason, empathy and common sense.

As a recovering feminist myself, I enjoy your writing, humor and perspective.