And “mess,” of course, also literally denotes disorder or untidiness. So with the duality of the word under a properly tensioned preload in the gear train of our mind, let’s on to round up the latest accidents. Some are stupid and comic. Some are stupid and tragic. Some are just stupid.
- Here, a clever lady examines a news report and comes up with a very plausible explanation for the exact “how” of an ND that landed a concealed carrier in legal hot water and cost her her job at a dental school. And she illustrates her point with a similar handgun and step-by-step photos.
- We said there’d be tragedy. What’s more tragic than a 7-year-old accidentally shot by his own father with an “empty” gun? We can’t think of anything. More here. Heartbreaking. Folks, there are no empty guns. Looks like the cops are saying just an unfortunate accident, but they’re leaning towards piling on the father by charging him. Which accomplishes what, exactly?
- More tragedy. A father and son hunting trip to Iowa from Page County, Nebraska, left an 18-year-old from Omaha seriously injured but expected to survive an accidental short-range shotgun blast to the back of his head. The accidental shooter? His dad. Here’s another story about the same accident). The kid was saved by a combination of a hard head and light bird shot. and his mom says he’s going to be OK. That’s good news, at least.
- There’s the guy in Wichita, who was at a gun-safety class… do we really need to finish this sentence? A local cop: “The man was practicing an off-handed draw with his firearm when he had his finger on the trigger. It discharged and struck him one time in his own leg.” Ah, the old passive voice again. Plain English, “Idjit shot himself.” Extra comic touch: the range it happened at was called, “The Bullet Stop.” Now that’s the guy’s new nickname.
- There was a guy in New Hampshire who was cleaning his gun... another sentence you have probably mentally completed already. He’s gonna live, but his hand’s going to have some funny scars. Unlike some gun-accident guys, he’s not going to be charged.
- Iowa authorities report not one, but at least six Iowans injured in separate deer hunting mishaps. Actually at least 11 have been injured, none fatally … yet… despite the efforts recounted at the link, which include:
- One hunter had his muzzleloader explode instead of fire; he suffered a lost (as in, “blown clean off,” but also as in, “beats us where it went after that”) thumb and other injuries.
- Another father-son trip went awry when the dad rested the muzzle of his shotgun on his boot… the slug went through his big toe. (.
- A young woman’s hunting companion left her with a non-penetrating (grazing?) injury with an accidental discharge through her boot.
- And a guy was hunting in fog with eight others when one of them, firing at a running deer, hit him in the shoulder and chest with a slug (he’ll live. So will the deer). “I would strongly urge hunters to reconsider hunting in these conditions with such dense fog. It just isn’t safe,” said [Allen] Crouse, a recreational safety officer with the state DNR.
- The exact same accident happened a few hours later to a Mississippi man in another hunting party. Word.
- And another hunter shot himself in the foot.
- And just to cap them all, one that fortunately didn’t hurt anybody, but unfortunately wasn’t an accident: some unsportsmanlike bum took a shot from his truck at a deer in the road. The deer wasn’t injured thanks to marksmanship as poor as his sportsmanship; the people in the house he hit weren’t injured thanks to blind luck, which explains why the book is to be thrown at this would-be Elmer Fudd. And that’s it for Iowa, but the deer season is young.
- A couple of Oregon motorcycle mechanics were admiring one’s new Glock in the shop, when… “the gun went off.” Glock + Trigger Finger = Predictable Result + Passive Voice in the news story.
This is just a couple of days’ worth, from The Gun Wire and rooting around. We think the “Mess of Accidents” name may stick. We could analyze these in depth, but really: never cover anything you’re not currently shooting with the muzzle, know what’s behind your intended target, and keep your nasal-sinus excavator off the bang-switch, would pretty much do it, no? Where have we heard those before?