Not to pile on fabled phony John Giduck or anything

Urban Dictionary: Giduck.

There are a number of definitions, all of which will seem familiar to longtime students of Round John.

We liked this one:

1. A terrorologist certified by his own certifying agency

The example they used is pretty good, too.

Dude did you hear about that Idema guy?

Yeah- he’s a real Giduck.

It’s technically wrong, because Idema was a real Giduck. Now, he’s dead (Idema, not Giduck. Giduck is still alive and young enough to repent and reform). But we get the point.

Personally, we wonder what Tom Lehrer or Gilbert & Sullivan might have done with “terrorologist.”

3 thoughts on “Not to pile on fabled phony John Giduck or anything

  1. Medic09

    Gilbert and Sullivan – I hear a Pirates of Penzance sort of tune in my head…

    And then, of course, Tom Lehrer would parody the Gilbert and Sullivan production…a tune like the one he used for the Table of Elements.

    Both brilliant matches on your part. Someone has to try this, even if they cannot rise quite to the level of Tom Lehrer.

    1. Hognose Post author

      I am the very model of a modern terrorologist;
      For Presidents belligerent or Presidents apologist;
      I’ve memorized biographies of terrorists historical;
      And all their terror tactics, in order categorical;
      I’ve clicked on all their websites, and ordered all their merchandise
      And know by name the virgins that will wait on them in Paradise!

      I’m very well acquainted with their wattle huts and hovelry,
      I’m read up on the countertactics: poison gas and shovelry;
      In short, in matters theoretical and terror-knowledge-ist
      I am the very model of a modern terrorologist!

      I know their mythic agitprop and all their themes promotional
      And form a bond with Russian terror sponsors that’s emotional
      I’m a master of all armaments who found all training skippable
      Except the stuff for which I charge: that’s truly YouTube-clip-able
      It grieves me so when some call my certifications phonious
      To speak of me in disrepect must surely be felonious;
      Now all of my detractors make my trigger finger itchious,
      And knowing that, I sortie on an enterprise litigious!

      I’m set to brook no challenge to my claims of terror mastery,
      By some internet nobodies who spent years in service blastery;
      Though I’d be wise to leave it between me and my psychologist
      I am the very model of a modern terrorologist!

      To this tune:


  2. Medic09

    I doff my hat/beret/kipah (yarmulke) to you sir! THAT is really good! I suggest you record it and distribute it in the appropriate circles. I know at least one forum where it will be an instant hit. Well done.

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