You can’t do anything in just one step

So here we are, trying to install internet in the Weapons Bunker and Hog Manor. And you would think that would be rather straightforward: we have telephone lines, we’re close to the CO, the place is thoroughly wired for cable, we have the equipment, installer’s on site, a network engineer available for adult supervision… it should be easy. Right?

Plan A was what the old Bunker had, T-1. “Not available in this location.” Even if we pay to have the cable pulled (a not inconsiderable sum). Just can’t do it. We’re reminded of a couple of mantras that we adopted and developed in combat days: the venerable “two is one, one is none” and our own, “you can’t do anything in just one step.”

Plan B: DSL. We tried ¬†and the installers tried, but we have buried utilities in this street, and 20 years underground has not been kind to the phone wires. Too noisy for internet. Uninstalled the install. (This is a grossly oversimplified version of a week-long ordeal that thoroughly instantiated the “you can’t do anything in just one step” rule).

Plan C: Cable. The install was easy to schedule, and like we said, the place was already wired for TV and internet just about everywhere. Ordered a cable modem from Amazon, avoided buying the latest high-speed version by checking the cable provider (which is running two versions back), corrected order to order the previous generation, which is it came on schedule, all was good.

Installer arrives. New Motorola cable modem is DOA. It shuts itself down and starts a reboot cycle every minute or so. We substitute one from his truck (great, now we’ll be paying to rent the piece of crap). The DOA one has to go back to Amazon.

Net’s up, it’s all good, Installer shakes hands and leaves. Now to install the wireless router alongside the cable modem.

Oops. Installer used the wall wart from the wireless router to power the replacement cable modem.

You can’t do anything in just one step.