When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Axes

Is it just us, or does the Republic of South Africa produce more than its fair share of weird homicides?

In this case, a youth from a wealthy family killed ’em all, or tried (a kid sister survived), and then called the cops with a transparent story that Sumdood did it.

Henri Van Breda, who handed himself over the police in September last year, is accused of murdering his father Martin, 54, a wealthy businessman, his mother Teresa, 55, and older brother Rudi, 22, in a frenzied early morning axe attack in the heart of South Africa’s western Cape vineyard area.

His younger sister Marli, who was 16 at the time of the attack, was left for dead on a balcony. She survived, despite a cut to her jugular vein and severe head injuries.

Van Breda appeared calm and smiled briefly as he appeared in the packed court room wearing a blue suite.

The case was postponed to April 24 because the defense said it had not received crucial DNA reports about the murder weapon from the state.

Van Breda, who is out on bail, has agreed not to contact witnesses, including his sister. He is also forbidden from being within 500 meters (yards) of an airport or a harbor.

Kind of amazing that a guy charged in a crime like this is bailed.

According to police, when officers arrived at the crime scene they found Van Breda sitting outside the house, wearing sleeping shorts and white socks stained with the blood of the victims. He was taken in for questioning and later brought back to the house, where investigators found a bloodstained axe and kitchen knife. He was later released into the care of an uncle.

Marli van Breda, who has been living with other members of the extended family, is suffering amnesia and unable to recall the incident.

That’s a relatively common occurrence, after being brained with an axe, actually.

On the morning of the attack van Breda had phoned his girlfriend at 4 a.m. but only called paramedics three hours later.

A recording of van Breda phoning the emergency services emerged in which he can be heard telling the operator: “My family and me were attacked by a guy with an axe.”

via South African man, 22, in court for axe murder of his family – NY Daily News.

This certainly looks like one of those Richard Pryor jokes come to life:

“Why did you kill your whole family?”

(Pause, thinking). “They was home.”

You know, it’s sad when a mentally ill person kills himself, but it might not be the worst thing.

9 thoughts on “When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Axes

  1. James F.

    The poor old Republic of South Africa produces more than its fair share of homicides of all kinds–lots more.

    The population of South Africa is 20 percent SMALLER than that of the UK. In 1998, Christopher Hitchens, writing about how “advanced” countries (other than the US) had all abolished the death penalty. Furthermore, he wrote “The very first act of the Constitutional Court of liberated South Africa was to abolish the penalty of death.”

    At the time he wrote that, the murder rate in “liberated” South Africa has higher than it is now.

    1. DaveP.

      But gosh-darn it, that can’t be true! Why, South Africa has very strict gun laws!

  2. Scott

    “He was taken in for questioning and later brought back to the house, where investigators found a bloodstained axe and kitchen knife. He was later released into the care of an uncle.

    That uncle should be tested for sanity.

  3. Trone Abeetin

    Why not bail him, there’s prolly three heavier pipe hitters for every on of him.
    He’s a dilettante in that bleep hole.

  4. Tom Stone

    It’s just a civilized country showing a little empathy for a kid who has just been orphaned…

    Anyone here think the family is not well to do?

    1. Ti

      “They were careless people, Tom and Daisy they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made” — F. Scott Fitzgerald

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