TSA: Turkeys Strike Again

The world’s most incompetent “security” agency did it again, and wait till you see what it did. The gist of it:

Eleven passengers strolled through a security lane without being screened at Kennedy Airport early Monday after Transportation Security Administration agents left the area unsupervised, law enforcement sources said.

There was no one present to operate the magnetometer and the X-ray machine, or to do pat-downs and secondary screening….

Instead of following protocol and notifying Port Authority cops, it took the TSA two hours to tell police about the frightening breach, the sources add.

Just how horrible was this security breach?

The unscreened passengers — three of whom set off a metal detector — didn’t even have to take off their shoes to get through security, according to a photo of two of the men obtained by the Daily News.

Oh, God. They didn’t even take off their shoes. What is the world coming to?

Of course, the TSA immediately fixed everything, right? Er, wrong. Remember, no one good, decent, honest, competent, moral, ethical or intelligent has ever been employed at TSA in any capacity whatsoever. We call that the Fundamental Law of TSA. Rather than fix anything, these bozos continued screwing up by the numbers.

Rather than notifying the police, who are specifically trained to handle those situations, the TSA used its own agents to search for the unscreened passengers.

Well, that will lead to the usual “security” crisis: bureaucratic turf battles! Did it? You betcha:

“The TSA tried to mitigate the situation by sending their screeners through the terminal in violation of all the protocols,” a source said. “The protocol says law enforcement is immediately notified.”

As you might imagine, TSA’s brain-dead trust was not successful in suddenly repurposing themselves as Emil and the Detectives. When they realized that they couldn’t find The Unclean the unscreened, they finally sent up a signal flare to the real cops.

Well, Port Authority cops.

But regardless of which cops they were, that received this belated notice from the screenergarten, it was too late.

When they were finally alerted, Port Authority cops flooded the terminal equipped with surveillance photos of the travelers, but none of them could be found, the sources said.

To us, the take-away from this is this: TSA’s passenger-harassment game broke down for a period… and nothing happened. That’s because targeting every single passenger as a terrorist threat, because the nation doesn’t have the stones to actually target the known wolves of actual terrorism, is not doing anything but pretending to provide security.

It’s security theater. But the joke is on us, as a nation, because after 15 years of uninterruped failure by TSA, the most brilliant North Star of incompetence in the entire Milky Way of incompetence that is fed.gov, the rubes demand their security theater:

“It’s scary that people could just walk in like that. It’s seems like something’s out of control here,” said Marie Ruiz-Martinez, 49, of Connecticut, who was at the airport to see her niece off to Puerto Rico.

No, it’s stupid that everybody can’t just walk in like that.

But somehow, even the ever-expanding purulent cyst of failure that is TSA has come to be comforting to our increasingly uneducated people. Prognosis: we’re getting more of it.

9 thoughts on “TSA: Turkeys Strike Again

  1. John M.

    “They didn’t even take off their shoes. What is the world coming to?”

    I LOLed at this. I mean, heaven forfend that we go back to the ugly days when we burned witches and got on airplanes without taking our shoes off.

    ‘“It’s scary that people could just walk in like that. It’s seems like something’s out of control here,” said Marie Ruiz-Martinez, 49, of Connecticut, who was at the airport to see her niece off to Puerto Rico.’

    You can translate this as, “If I had to feel the long finger of Airport Securitah on *my* brown starfish, why didn’t those other guys?”

    And really, she has a point. This incident does make it seem like something’s out of control there. If they’re going to do security theater, is it too much to ask that the show be halfway decent? Or that the show at least goes on, even if it stinks like a brown starfish?

    -John M.

  2. whomever

    “…frightening breach,…”

    Buuuut…it’s not frightening at all. If you announce in advance that you’re shutting down lane 37 at 3PM on Jun 14th and letting people go in unchecked, then I suppose Bad People TM could mark their calendars. But doing it unexpectedly? What are the odds that A)Bad Guys TM happen to be about to go through security right then and there and B)have their Uzis or whatever hidden in a way that would have been detected?

    I’ll play against those odds.

  3. Sommerbiwak

    Trump loves his executive orders. One handwritten line would put an end to this waste of time and money.

  4. Loren

    It was a TSA Precheck line to boot, frequent fliers who are vetted prior to arrival. That’s the same process airport employees get. You know, the same diversity hires who bypass security with their backpacks over a shoulder.
    Seems they identified a few of them and ran them through security after they landed. Can’t be too careful you know. They might have taken that nail clipper on a connecting flight.
    Thank God for a hundred generations of dumb as a rock inbred Muslims marrying first cousins or these TSA fucks would be letting planes getting blown out of the sky every day.

  5. James Sullivan

    In the Christmas Season of 2003, I was flying home from a trip to San Francisco. I had a layover in Chicago (flying Untied…I mean, United.).

    Due to weather difficulties (plane landed late), and the Ginormous size of O’Hare (needing to go to ridiculously distance Gate for my flight to Albany in less than 3 minutes), I had to stay the night in the Airport because my flight was The Last Flight of the Night. And United’s idea of helping me out after screwing me was 10% off a hotel for the night. As Adam Sandler might say, “WHOOPEDY- DOOO!”

    But I digress.

    Point of the story is, the TSA shut down all Security Stations around 10pm or so. I don’t know if this was or is SOP. But that’s what happened that night. And the doors to the Terminal were left unlocked ALL NIGHT LONG. I know because I went outside a few times because I explored the place: Night at Ohare! There was even a dinosaur skeleton (brachiosaurus, I believe.)

    You could have had lord knows how many platoons of Deep Cover Hamas Islamo-ninjas “sneak in” to the airport. Back then, I was young, dumb and…naive so it scared me. Up until then, I labored under the delusion that Thosands Standing Around actually did something useful. My mind was thoroughly blown. I can’t imagine there was anything unique about that night.

    What really, really scared me though (once I wrapped my brain around what a joke TSA was and is) were the roving bands of Janitor Gangs who showed up around 11pm and cleaned for an hour. Then they spent the rest of the night separated into gangs of 10-15 or so. They would menace each other, like a scene from Michael Jackson’s Beat It.

    Myself and a few other passengers banded together for safety, taking turns with keeping watch and sleeping on makeshift beds (made of carry-on luggage)

    I kid you not. One of the most crazy experiences of my life.

  6. Docduracoat

    Terrorists may not be able to board during the window TSA is AWOL
    However, negligent Americans “forget” they have a concealed firearm and try to board every day

  7. Pingback: Trump's plans and yesterday's links

Comments are closed.