When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Smoothies

Meet Julia Gutierriez. This 53-year-old Illinois woman planned, and botched, a murder-suicide of her husband Eduardo and herself, using the prescription drug Temazepan in smoothies. She succeeded halfway: in the murder part. It was the suicide she botched, and now her lawyers are trying to get the courts to toss her confession.

After all, might as well let her go; it’s not like she’s any danger to her husband any more.

[Julia Gutierrez] gave Eduardo a smoothie spiked with the prescription drug Temazepam.

Geneva police conducting a well-being check at the couples Crissey Avenue home on Jan. 28, 2016, found Eduardo dead and Gutierrez unconscious on a bathroom floor, according to authorities and court documents.

The case will probably end in a plea bargain, so the judge (Tegeler) has tabled the defense attorney’s (Yetter’s) motion to suppress the confession for now:

With a resolution possible, Tegeler said a pending motion by Yetter seeking to suppress Gutierrezs statements to police would remain on hold. Yetter contends in the filing that Gutierrez was not told her rights before investigators questioned her at Delnor Community Hospital and that she was in no shape to be asked about what had happened.

That is one of the more creative suppression memos we’ve heard of. It might have worked; if there’s one thing we’ve learned, it’s that what happens in courtrooms is closer to random than systematic, and only a very rough approximation of justice.

Yetters [sic] motion states Gutierrez was being treated for a drug overdose “that was thought to be a suicide attempt” when the questioning took place.

Prosecutors in their own court filings have indicated Gutierrez essentially acknowledged in a note to a friend she had planned a murder-suicide. Gutierrez is scheduled to return to court on April 27.

via Plea possible for Geneva woman accused of killing husband with drugged smoothie – Aurora Beacon-News.

Thank Heaven for small mercies, like not ever having been in a marriage like these two people’s.

3 thoughts on “When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Smoothies

  1. LFMayor

    So is this guy a “dreamer” now? Eternally even.

    Also, does this gal have a sister? Asking for a friend who’s been having trouble resting.

  2. Joe

    Temazepam (Jeelies) have cost more limbs from my punters than any other drug.

    They put a gel in the capsules that makes those who inject it lose limbs.

    Hence the name “jeelies” – Jellies in Standard English.

  3. AndyN

    Smoothie is slang for an iron among certain demographics (because it makes your clothes smooth, obviously). I saw you post title and expected to read about someone being beaned with a handheld appliance.

Comments are closed.