When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Ponds

In New York, where guns are as outlawed as Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D-Five Families), former Senate Majority Leader Dean Skelos (R-Inmate Number 72196-054) and former House Speaker Sheldon Silver (D-Inmate Number 71915-054) can make them, criminals still manage to kill people.

In this case, it was a gang of car thieves, and the people they killed were themselves — with an assist from cold weather, overestimation of ┬átheir evasive driving skills, and a pond that God strategically placed to call some of his, or The Other Guy’s, small-time hoods home. The New York Daily News:

Three people trying to escape state police in a stolen car took a fatal plunge into a Long Island pond Sunday night, according to cops.

The car went into a pond near the intersection of Searingtown and I.U. Willets Road in Albertson at about 6 p.m., officials said.

A state trooper using a license plate reader on Northern State Parkway scanned the 2010 Honda, and realized it had been stolen from Hempstead on Friday, state police told Newsday.

The trooper started following the car, and the vehicle sped up, crashed through a fence, flipped over and plunged into a pond.

One of the victims was pulled from the pond, while two more were found in the Honda after authorities pulled it from the icy water, police said.

via 3 dead after fleeing cops, plowing into Long Island pond – NY Daily News.

Now that’s one heck of a dynamic way to break the ice. Although it does limit your ability to continue the discussion.

The handprints on the inside window are priceless.

Note also that they ran from the cops in a little Civic — with at least one wheel replaced with a spare-tire donut, a thing with the traction of a hog on ice, even if it wasn’t on ice, which it was — until the ice didn’t hold it any more.

The taxpayers are the big winners here. They’re not only saved the cost of the trial of these worthless bums, but they’re saved all the costs of their ongoing lives of crime, which would have been resumed as quickly as the state’s correctional Revolving Door could spin.


This post has been corrected. We erroneously wrote that Dean Skelos was a Democrat; he is, in fact, a Republican, but we cut-and-pasted ourselves into trouble. Yes, Albany Republicans are just as crooked as their Democrat counterparts.

8 thoughts on “When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Ponds

  1. DSM

    The Mythbusters did an episode about escaping a submerged car I saw over the holidays. They should have done some research beforehand.

  2. gebrauchshund

    What are the odds that the families of the departed will sue the State, acknowledging that the little dears may have made some mistakes, while tearfully exclaiming that they didn’t deserve to be “executed”.

  3. Tom Stone

    I’d like to nominate these three for a lifesaving award.
    By offing themselves so neatly they very likely saved the lives of those they would have victimized in the future…

  4. Cap'n Mike

    The car going into the pond on its roof was what did them in.
    Sounds like one guy got out of the car but couldnt make it to the surface in the 10 foot water.
    Probably too disoriented in the dark to know which way was up.

    At least one of the victims had a promising career as a social justice canvassing coordinator cut short.
    I didnt know that was a thing.

    from newsday.com
    “According to his Facebook page, Joan Sanjuan graduated from Queens Vocational High School and worked as a canvassing coordinator at Make the Road New York, a social justice organization with an office in Brentwood.”

    seems like a great place to work.

    1. bloke_from_ohio

      Swimming in cold water, even just on the surface, is no joke. Swimming submerged in the dark, fully clothed, after getting thrown around in a wreck is even worse. I am a strong swimmer with some “recreational” experience with cold water aquatic tomfoolery but this would have punched my ticket. That is before you take into account the car probably wound up on its roof on the bottom. Then you have to consider the possibility of ice blocking you access to the surface. The car made a big hole, but you have to find it in the dark while trying not to die.

      Conclusion: Hard pass on this one!

      1. bloke_from_ohio

        Even if the car did not go in upside down, cars like to flip on their own in water that is deep enough to allow it.

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