In New York, where guns are as outlawed as Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D-Five Families), former Senate Majority Leader Dean Skelos (R-Inmate Number 72196-054) and former House Speaker Sheldon Silver (D-Inmate Number 71915-054) can make them, criminals still manage to kill people.
In this case, it was a gang of car thieves, and the people they killed were themselves — with an assist from cold weather, overestimation of their evasive driving skills, and a pond that God strategically placed to call some of his, or The Other Guy’s, small-time hoods home. The New York Daily News:
Three people trying to escape state police in a stolen car took a fatal plunge into a Long Island pond Sunday night, according to cops.
The car went into a pond near the intersection of Searingtown and I.U. Willets Road in Albertson at about 6 p.m., officials said.
A state trooper using a license plate reader on Northern State Parkway scanned the 2010 Honda, and realized it had been stolen from Hempstead on Friday, state police told Newsday.
The trooper started following the car, and the vehicle sped up, crashed through a fence, flipped over and plunged into a pond.
One of the victims was pulled from the pond, while two more were found in the Honda after authorities pulled it from the icy water, police said.
Now that’s one heck of a dynamic way to break the ice. Although it does limit your ability to continue the discussion.
The handprints on the inside window are priceless.
Note also that they ran from the cops in a little Civic — with at least one wheel replaced with a spare-tire donut, a thing with the traction of a hog on ice, even if it wasn’t on ice, which it was — until the ice didn’t hold it any more.
The taxpayers are the big winners here. They’re not only saved the cost of the trial of these worthless bums, but they’re saved all the costs of their ongoing lives of crime, which would have been resumed as quickly as the state’s correctional Revolving Door could spin.
This post has been corrected. We erroneously wrote that Dean Skelos was a Democrat; he is, in fact, a Republican, but we cut-and-pasted ourselves into trouble. Yes, Albany Republicans are just as crooked as their Democrat counterparts.