Going Out with a Whimper

Let’s play Jux Ta Position! That fun game in which we take several news stories and put them together, and see what brilliant insights emerge. Shall we?

First contestant: President Barack H. Obama.

In the world of press releases and the media that dutifully rephrase them, a war leader whose legend eclipses Alexander is hanging up his sarissa, with no more worlds to conquer after eight years of effortless triumph.

DOD Zero-Integrity Flack Lisa Ferdinando has a hilariously, near-North-Korean fawning piece on an official website, where she carefully transcribes the lofty praises the palace eunuchs raise over the great and wondrous works of our own Kim Jong Supreme Personality of Godhead:

Other notable achievements as listed by Carter include the rebalance to the Asia-Pacific region, standing with NATO allies to lead a united response to deter Russian aggression, and securing an accord that is preventing Iran from acquiring a nuclear weapon.

With any luck, she’ll be swept out with the rest of the political appointees in two weeks.

There is no Second Contestant, as the First Contestant has consumed all the oxygen in the room.

Interesting fact: First female Marine Grunts report for duty!

After eight years of command-influenced squeeze, here come three drops of juice.

All three of the infantry Marines graduated from the School of Infantry as part of the service’s gender integration research, said Marine Corps spokesman Capt. Philip Kulczewski.

“The Corps applauds the time and efforts of those Marines who volunteered,” Kulczewski said. “As we continue to move forward…..”

Defense Secretary Ash] Carter had refused an earlier request by the Corps to keep women out of combat jobs after the service’s gender integration study found that mixed-gender teams did not perform as well as all-male teams and that female Marines were more likely to get injured. ….

Retired Marine Gen. James Mattis, Trump’s nominee for defense secretary, told Military Times in September that “shortsighted social programs” could make the U.S. military less effective.

You mean, like the Marines’ own study. Heresy! Burn him!

The three women are one rifle, um, operator; one machine gun crew, uh, member; and one, er, mortar person. Several female officers have been placed in the battalion to act as zampolits for the three Unique and Special Snowflakes™.

First Contestant responds: Women are as Strong as Men!

The outgoing First Contestant knows all he needs to know about the military.

“Joe Biden and I know that women are as least as strong as men,” he said.

He’s probably projecting from his own experience. Michelle looks like she could snap his spine, but doesn’t need to, because just a scowl makes him cry and fold. (The mullahs and Putin had the same experience with him).

During his speech, Obama called the American armed forces the greatest fighting force in the world,,,

Why?

…and celebrated its new found committment to diversity.

Oh, that.

He explained that the new social changes were part of the reason why the military was one of America’s most respected institutions….

Of course, because what everyone wants the military to do is be a global leader in Social Justice. “Sir, our mission is to fly anywhere in the world on 24 hours’ notice to provide an example of diverse vibrancy and genderfluid postmodernism, on direction of the National Command Authority.”

No, no, that just sounds like laughter, it’s how terrorists quake in their boots. Honest, a spokesman said. 

And As Deserved as the Nobel Peace Prize

The First Contestant then declared himself the winner, and awarded himself a medal. No, we are not making that up.

Technically, sure, Ash Carter awarded him the medal, as you see in the image; and in addition, it seems to have become a pro forma end-of-tour award for Presidents. But still, it reeks of caudillismo, and Obama shouldn’t have done it, and Bush before him, and anybody else, shouldn’t have done it, either. You’re the President of the United States, for Pete’s sake. Even the freshest private knows that it’s unseemly and just not done to give yourself medals.

And yes, having a fawning toady give you the medal counts as giving yourself a medal. If President Obama ever turned a corner abruptly, Secretary Carter would suffer a broken nose.

One wonders what Carter, whose carambolage of inept improvisation has given MacNamara’s legacy a run for the money, awarded his own self.

Thomas Lifson at American Thinker noticed something about the ceremony:

The ceremony took place at Joint Base Myers-Henderson, before a crowd that had an awful lot of empty seats, almost as if the military service members who attended were there on orders.

No, honest, a private or corporal loves nothing more than to be used as a prop by some politician. “Make sure the ones in the background have plenty of minorities!” We’ve gotta have “college-brochure-picture diversity,” because Diversity is Our Vibrancy™.

20 thoughts on “Going Out with a Whimper

  1. Haxo Angmark

    according to wiki, Ashley Carter has already awarded itself four (4) of this particular bauble. Other winnerz include Steven Szpielberg and some Pentagon chick who’s name I don’t recognize.

    “carambolage”?

  2. TBoone

    Presidential Participation Medal. With NutZ, Sprinkles & Prevarication Clusters. AnD He gets a trophy! too!! Unit Citation of Self-Agrandizing Short-Sightedness Socialism-istically Speaking.

    He’s got a few more Daze in office. I thought I’d give suggestions for further awards for His Specious Specialness. Like…

    1. Loren

      Well nobody can deny he re-balanced the Asia-Pacific region. It’ll be up to Trump to fix that.

  3. Aesop

    Even the freshest private knows that it’s unseemly and just not done to give yourself medals.

    Just ask SecState Kerry.

  4. Tom Stone

    Surreal.
    I may start frying my hash browns in lithium grease on the off chance that someone is putting LSD in the water supply.
    I have lost track of how many times I’ve read a news story in the last year and nearly given myself a hernia, torn between puking and laughing hysterically.

  5. jim h

    hey hey hey, let’s calm down, folks. after all, he showed great restraint and military bearing when he didn’t award himself the top four or five gongs after he personally greased UBL, leading the Navy SEALs on a daring raid into Pok-ee-ston, showing great bravery and intrepidity of leadership in the highest traditions of the 57 United States. you remember, this was right about the time his birth certificate was being exposed as a fraud.

    I’ve given up on this clown. but someone, somewhere, should have felt shame at allowing these monkeyshines to go forward. or, to be PC, shenanigans. don’t want to be accused of thoughtcrime for that phrase.

  6. Elaine

    I will be so glad when the POS POTUS and everyone in his administration is gone. He has torn this country apart in a million ways–including of course the military. It has been eight years of hell.
    In my opinion women have no business in the military, except as clerks (secretaries). If I was a man in the military I would not want a woman anywhere near me.
    My son just returned from deployment—helicopter pilot on the USS Nitze. To feel ‘closer’ and try to know what was going on, I ‘liked’ the Nitze and Eisenhower Facebook pages. I have never seen so many female ‘sailors’, black and white, also foreigners on the ships. It looked like the United Nations, not the United States. How does a guy from Kenya become a US sailor? I guess if a guy from Kenya can become President, becoming a sailor is easy.
    Anyway, there should be no women on ships, subs, in the Marines, Army, etc,. Saw something on TV this week about dangerous jobs, one was the Coast Guard. This girl, only about 5′ 5″ wanting to be a rescue swimmer because she had a ‘gift’ for swimming—gag. If I’m in the ocean needing rescue, I want a big huge, hulking man to save me.
    Back to the ship personnel. I have never seen so many tattoos on everyone, black, white, male, female. I thought the tattoos looked, tacky, thuggish and gangsterish (new word) and nasty. Tattoos all the way down their arms! If I want to see tattoos, I’ll go to Walmart.
    Sorry, got off track a little. The little whiny boy in the White House said he was going to ‘fundamentally transform’ America and he has. He has nearly destroyed this country and its military. I’m just scared he won’t shut up after he leaves office and we’ll still hear his yapping.
    “And that’s all I have to say about that.” Forrest Gump

    1. John M.

      In fairness to the Navy, sailors’ tattoos have always looked “tacky, thuggish and gangsterish (new word) and nasty” to non-sailors. After all, people used to say, “If I want to see tattoos, I’ll go to the docks.” Now sailors have to work hard to keep ahead of the Walmart crew that haven’t ever sailed anything other than a fly ball.

      -John M.

  7. Aesop

    Au contraire, bonne femme, when I was a man in the military, I always wanted women near me.
    Just not on duty, or in uniform.

    I also have zero problems with foreigners in the military; it means they are legal residents, who have sworn an oath to defend this country and its Constitution, something you couldn’t get native-born college pukes to do most years since the 1960s.
    In about eleven out of ten cases, they apply for full citizenship the day after they’re eligible, and are frequently naturalized as US citizens on their initial or subsequent tour of duty, in uniform, at a command ceremony. Which is awesomeness squared.

    Personal experience is that they are generally better Americans than any number of what random accidents of geography afflict us with here, and I personally regard them as Americans, unfortunately born someplace else, who have found their way home.

    As no small number of monument walls and government-issued cemetery markers will attest, all around the world.

    We would be a far better land if we eliminated the Naturalization Service, and instead entrusted immigration decisions to drill instructors, master sergeants, and master chiefs, to decide whom to keep, and whom to throw back, after a tour under close personal observation.

    1. jim h

      this.

      I got to see a pretty large naturalization ceremony in the sandbox as I was stopping over at a FOB Victory enroute to parts elsewhere. talk about humbling and energizing, all in the same time – that was one of the best things to see, and I hadn’t even known it was happening. those foreigners becoming Americans was a true gift to see. you’ve never seen what real pride in your country looks like until you’ve seen it in a recently naturalized soldier’s eyes, I assure you.

    2. Elaine

      I have to agree with you Aesop and Jim H. I shouldn’t say that about them (naturalized citizens)—just grouping them all together. I know some of them are very grateful and thankful to be here. And there are plenty of American born citizens that I would be glad to see pack up and leave.
      And, I shouldn’t be so down on tattoos. It’s one thing to have one on your upper arm (male sailor), but I still do not like to see them all over the arms and up the neck and especially on women.
      Can I blame my frustration on the last eight years?? I’m just getting old and cranky.

  8. Rusty Shackleford

    Equal amounts laughter at the writing and sadness over what the last 8 years have done to this country in general and the military in particular…

  9. John M.

    Giving yourself a medal is a particularly crappy stunt. I’ve never even been a private, and I know that. For as undeserved as the Nobel Peace Prize or his two elections were, they were at least awarded to him by other people.

    -John M.

  10. David

    I do not have a college education. I decided to start taking some basic classes the same time Mr. Obama was elected.
    The entitlement expressed by the kids astonished me (about to get my taxes) – no, jackass, those are my taxes, or a gift from the government.
    The outrage and idiocy expressed by the “adults” (the news called him Mr Bush, now they call the President Obama) infuriated me. Holy self-centered crap.

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