When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Bike Helmets

Tomball, Texas police are looking for the career criminal in the mugshot (right, vintage 2012) in connection with a murder. The lead-up, the crime, and the escape were all caught on store surveillance video; apparently the killer and the victim knew each other from somewhere in the murderer’s criminal milieu.

A man accused of using a motorcycle helmet to kill someone at a Tomball Walmart on Monday has been charged with murder.

Surveillance video from the store shows 29-year-old Michael Brandon Jemison and Justin Jones arguing with each other, Tomball police said. According to investigators, Jemison hit Jones with the helmet, causing him to collapse inside the store.

Jones died at the hospital.

The video also caught Jemison stalking out with the murder weapon still in hand.

He hit the doors, got on his bike, and apparently, kept on going; the crime happened Monday, and here Wednesday he’s still on the run. Makes you wonder about the wisdom of the courts, turning him loose in the first place.

Police say Jones was inside the Walmart early Monday morning with a friend, then had a conversation with Jemison.

“We have reason to believe that they knew each other. It appears it has been an ongoing feud between people in that group,” said Sgt. Gary Hammond, with the Tomball Police Department.

[The victim’s girlfriend, Lindsey] Stover says the friend Jones was with was withdrawing money to give him before the encounter with Jemison. She believes it was only about $60.

“I don’t think it was spur of the moment. This guy saw an old enemy,” Stover said.

She says the incident should have never ended like this.

“Stand up, act like a man, you take another man’s life, turn yourself in,” Stover said. “Own up to what you did and quit hiding.”

via Man charged with murder after attack at Walmart | abc13.com.

Another news story notes that Jemison has been in prison for a long string of felonies, both violent and drug-related. That might explain some of the tats, and his low body fat percentage (left). But this grim incident is also a living lesson that even a scrawny druggie is strong enough to kill an unprepared and unarmed human being, even with an improvised weapon — a blunt instrument — like a crash helmet. There are dozens of better weapons in every home or workplace, and you best defense against any of them is ATF: Alertness, Training, and Firearm.

Jemison remains at large at press time. However, the Tomball PD (a notably forward-looking and imaginative force) is looking, and they’ve also called in the Texas Rangers. Next time Jemison strikes that come-hither selfie pose, he’ll be doing it for his cellmate. Next few thousand times.

And that’s the best case scenario — assuming he doesn’t wind up on the next slab to his victim, Jones. Either outcome couldn’t happen to a more deserving guy.

21 thoughts on “When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Bike Helmets

    1. bloke_from_ohio

      The AWB was right! It probably had a barrel shroud and/or the shoulder thing that goes up! The horror!

      1. Raoul Duke

        Due to the hazy writing, it’s unclear if all the victims were bayonetted, or some were also shot, as well. Stabbin’ and shootin’ at the same time, though? Very creative.

      1. John M.

        And if the whacked had been wearing a helmet, it’d likely have been a different outcome.

        -John M.

  1. Haxo Angmark

    definitely a Person of Walmart. One is significantly more likely to be murdered in a Walmart than at Hammacher-Schlemmer.

  2. medic09

    I have to admit, I have many times fantasized about pulling over, taking off my helmet and proceeding to first smash the windshield and then the face and body of the idiot who just almost killed me. I always thought a motorcycle helmet could do some damage. Now I know. Too bad. Now I know that my fantasy is realizable.

      1. W. Fleetwood

        Back in the mists of time both the US Army and USMC hand to hand combat manuals gave detailed instructions on the use of the (then) steel pot as an offensive weapon. They were complete with illustrations of grips, swings and targeting advice. Although I’m pretty sure this was an intuitive act not a trained one.

        But one does wonder, before the change to kevlar helmets were there extensive tests of comparative head bashing capabilities of the new prototypes with the good old steel one used as a control? And what were the test standards, and what were the results, and why haven’t we heard about them?

        I’ll bet Daniel Watters knows.

        Sua Sponte.

        1. DSM

          I always figured giving someone a head butt and catching that NVG mount on someone’s face would do some damage.

  3. Scott

    Speaking of motorcycle helmets, there was a guy who was riding his motorcycle in a heavy rain–rain so heavy he put his jacket on backwards to try and better stay dry. Sadly, he crashed on a rural road and was found by some good old boys. Police investigating the death asked them about the man’s condition immediately after the wreck.

    “He said he was OK, but we knowed better. And then he took a turn for the worse after Junior here straightened his helmet around for him.”


    1. gebrauchshund

      Ahhh…”The Motorcycle Story” from Brother Dave Gardner, now that’s a blast from the past.

      “Blap!..teeth, hair, and eyes all over the pavement.”

      1. Loren

        “Blap!..teeth, hair, and eyes all over the pavement.”
        Guy must have driven in the UAE.
        Always fun to get passed @230kph by 4 guys in distashas in a Land Cruiser in 120F heat and real hot tires. The resulting role overs(ssssssssssss) when one tire blows makes an interesting debris field.

  4. bloke_from_ohio

    The USAF’s unarmed victim of mass shooting training has a photo on a SNCO trying to brain the would be shooter by chucking a crash helmet at them. I guess this means that the “fight” slide was a little less silly than I originally thought. They did have a tiny civilian wielding a set of rather anemic scissors and a guy with a swing line stapler. So there is that.

    One mind, any weapon?

    1. Hognose Post author

      There was a bad green on blue in KMTC a few years ago. Air Force personnel fared particularly badly. Everybody was supposed to be armed! Not many fought back. Fight or Flight are only 2/3 of the possibilities, a lot of people freeze. Freeze could conceivably end well, but you’re depending on the goodwill of the creep who’s already gunning people, so the odds are not on your side.

      1. DSM

        The AF mentality is….interesting.

        Assumption: “Our aircraft are HD/LD, they’ll get us out before anything kicks off.”
        Reply: “Like Khobar Towers? Wait a second, how many of your HD/LD aircraft are there and how many crew do you have? I don’t think you’ll all fit.”

        Assumption: “Our aircraft are never deployed anywhere forward.”
        Reply: “Was Ft Hood forward? Was that kid who shot our mall up in town forward? Combat isn’t just something that happens far away and on TV.”

        Assumption: “I’m not in the Army, if I have to learn about cover & concealment, low crawling and the like then everyone else should have to learn how to preflight XX aircraft.”
        Reply: “…..(shakes head, walks off, hopes random lightning strike solves problem as this is a special case of myopic vision)….”

  5. Cap'n Mike

    One of my local watering holes had a prohibition against Motorcycle helmets in the the Bar. I guess there had been some unpleasantness and for ever after, they had to stay out on the bike.

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