When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Self-Absorbed Moms and Negligent Nannies

She’s pretty, and people have been filling her head with praise all her life. Result, narcissistic tendencies.

This story has it all: a victim that’s going to recover, thank God; a perp who was apparently careless, not evil; and an enabler — the newborn victim’s mom, first entry in the Mom Of The Year® stakes for 2017 — who’s so self-absorbed that 1), her kids are being raised by nannies; and, 2) she’s seeking therapy for herself for the trauma caused by her kid’s fractured skull.  The C-List celeb-obsessed New York Daily News:

[Actress Eva] Martino — daughter of Susan Sarandon and Franco Amurri — shared details on a horrific incident that occurred just weeks after she gave birth to her son Major James in October.

The “Happily Eva After” actress said that a few nights before Thanksgiving, a night nurse accidentally fell asleep while holding her son and dropped him on his head, where the baby suffered a fractured skull.

Ah, the N3 (Nameless Night Nanny), the costumed and caparisoned villain of many an upper-class child abuse story. Now if this was, say, a poor family in Queens where the babysitting aunt dropped the kid accidentally while Mom was working the night shift as a nurse’s aide in a charity hospital, the Forces of Good Government™ would be going all-out to take the kids and place them with some knuckle-dragging foster family, where the abuse and neglect would at least be by selected and trained professionals.

But because it was a rich actress’s kid, the goo-goos™ are just asking for autographs, and the celebrity suckups in the media nodding and typing as Mom Of The Year® whinges about how awful her kid’s skull fracture was — for her. 

“Let me tell you — the guilt I bore in the days and weeks after this accident was more intense and more damaging than anything I would wish upon my worst enemy. I had all those same thoughts and more,” she revealed.

“I chose not to share [FOR] fear of judgement … The internet can be a peculiar place, where some people forget about humanity and go for the jugular.

That would be us, apparently. Jugular, tally-ho!

“I know that this news might reach many, and of those many there will always be the people who say that this accident was my fault. That if it had been me in there holding him instead of a night nurse, that this never would have happened.”

Well, that’s arguable, but it’s a counterfactual. Fact is, the nanny that she can’t bring herself to call a “nanny” (because no fiction is more grimly gripped by the 1% than that they’re “middle class”), dropped the kid and the kid got hurt. It happened, learn from it. If you can.

“That I deserve this for allowing my child to be in the care of somebody other than me.”

Notice that it’s all about her, not the child? That is a case of Olympic Level narcissism right there. If your kid gets damn near killed by the person you hired to take care of him, that’s a tragedy; but if you (and your publicist?) spin it so it’s all about you, that’s a tragedy and a person of some questionable character exploiting it. Is it really all about you, Mother Of The Year®?

Martino announced that while baby Major is “healing well” with no signs of brain damage, she is seeking help for emotional distress following the scare.

All about her. Sheesh. “The kid’s OK, let’s keep talking about me me me me me!”

Lord love a duck.

We wonder how the nanny feels — awful, we’d bet. And with that sentence, we bet we’ve had more of a care for her distress than Mom Of The Year® here.

“If you read my post about choosing Homebirth, you know that I have an (irrational) phobia of hospitals. To be in one for two days under such circumstances was nearly unbearable for me, not to mention how scary and emotional those days were for the entirety of our family,” she wrote.

OK, so she’s in emotional distwess, and going to the hospital with her baby was “nearly unbearable.” Any thing else about you, lady?

Martino said she plans to seek therapy for possible postpartum depression.

Of course. via Eva Amurri Martino on son’s broken skull: ‘The guilt is damaging’ – NY Daily News.

Lord love a duck.

Hey, at least the kid’s OK. Sometimes, the children of neglectful or self-absorbed parents turn out just fine, so he’s got a shot, poor little guy.

On the other hand, sometimes they become actors.

11 thoughts on “When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Self-Absorbed Moms and Negligent Nannies

  1. KPKo

    Bette Midler’s character in the movie “Beaches”: “But enough about me, let’s talk about you. What do YOU think about me?”

    That’s how these entertainment types always seem to present themselves, even when Real Life tries to teach a lesson.

  2. Aesop

    1) Nanny yes; nurse, probably not so much.
    If there’s any certification involved, it’s almost certainly an NA – Nurse Assistant.
    Which is to actual nursing what dental assistants are to actual dentistry.
    2) To get the kind of NA who’d fall asleep during their shift, you’re almost certainly talking about some member of The Diversity, probably working multiple gigs to make ends meet.
    Primarily, IMHO, because the offal involved wouldn’t come close to paying the day rate for an RN for private duty, which probably runs upwards of $50/hr or more in NYFC.
    3) It is, to a certitude, the case that this is clearly not the first baby in the Sarandon clan that was dropped on its head. Like Isaac Newton’s, the most recent Sarandon family apple didn’t fall too far from the tree.

  3. Jim Scrummy

    So mom is a member of the precious snowflake sorority. Seriously, getting psych help, because you suck as a mom? Of course grandma is a witch, who is way past her sell by date, sucked as a mom. So daughter really doesn’t have a good role model to be a mom. The “nanny” (the real mom), as Aesop says is probably working two gigs, minimum, to make ends meet in NYC, and probably feels like whale excrement because of what happened. Other than that, Happy New Year everyone. Seems like things never change, other than me being a year older (that too sucks), and people are still stupid (and sometimes I resemble that statement).

  4. Josey Wales

    She’s not even that good looking, I see a dozen women a day I’d rather jump than her, and the Sarandon bloodline makes her an automatic no-go at my station.

    1. Boat Guy

      Yeah…first thought on the caption “Pretty??? Not really”. I’m fortunate that the number of women I’d rather jump than that one is multiple dozens

  5. bloke_from_ohio

    Being a nanny is a weird gig. My wife did it semi professionally in college and early in our marriage. You spend a lot of time with the child or children in her case. Sometimes you are with the kid more than the actual parents. If you are doing it right, you invest a lot of yourself into them. But at the end of the day you are not the “real” mom. In some cases you are merely a helper but in others you are the primary (if not the only) caregiver in everything but name. I imagine it is the polar opposite of being a grandparent or cool uncle.

  6. Hayabusa

    She’s pretty…

    Ummm…. I guess all I can say is, looks are subjective, and your mileage may vary.

  7. H

    “a case of Olympic Level narcissism ”

    As you’d expect from the spawn of Susan Sarandon. The apple falleth not far from the tree.

  8. Fuel Filter.

    “whinges” ???

    Hognose, you gonna start typing “colour” “kerb” “spanner” and “behaviour” too?

    Geez, man.

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