When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Tinder

It began as a missing persons case… and Francia Ruth Ibarra here, copping a selfie in happier days, wasn’t found the way a father wants his lost daughter to turn up. The Sun tabloid (UK):

Accused Emmanuel Delani Valdez Bocanegra, 26, was quizzed when friends and family of his victim reported her missing after she hooked up with him via the dating app.

The pair had met through the dating app Tinder and had then met several times over the past few months before Francia disappeared.

Her university friends backtracked her social media postings and found she’d been dating Boncanegra, a former student.

It was only after Bocanegra (left) did a runner to Mexico City from his home in Leon, Mexico, that the Federales pulled a search warrant on his house. There, they found Francia. Sort of.

Gruesome remains of human bones were found in bin bags on his apartment balcony beside canisters of caustic soda and hydrochloric acid.

Six kilos of human flesh retrieved from the bones have been DNA matched with the victim, Francia Ruth Ibarra, also 26.

Her clothes were found hidden in a bag inside the apartment in Leon, central Mexico.

Why did he do it? The cops say she went on the date with him, and then refused to put out. So he whacked her and used Breaking Bad for a how-to manual, only discovering too late to save himself that the show was written by, well, screenwriters, not actual chemists.

Anyway, the Mexican cops want us Norteamericaños to know that they don’t send us, as some Americans believe, all their criminals. The cops there would have an easier job of it, if they did.

10 thoughts on “When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Tinder

  1. Clarence Chen

    If memory serves, the “chemists” in Breaking Bad actually use Hydrofluoric acid to dissolve bodies, which doesn’t dissolve bone. Sodium hydroxide actually does, if you wait long enough/heat it. HCL takes even longer, but also works.

    1. Hognose Post author

      I think “patience” and “impulse to commit perfect murder” may be mutually incompatible. Or, those guys never get caught. Pick one!

      1. Y.

        Or, those guys never get caught. Pick one!

        A little factoid.

        In Czech Republic, selling of drugs used to be in hands of Chechens, Albanian and Russian mafias.

        Some time back, Vietnamese started with mass weed production for export. Got a lot of money out of it. Then they found out it’s cheaper and less risky to produce meth. Estimated meth production for 2015 is 100 tons, supposedly 60% of EU meth supply.

        Cops say Vietnamese gangs dominate the drug market now. 20% of all Vietnamese are thought to be involved in money-laundering the proceeds in some way.

        From the last 15 years.. I don’t recall any reports of shootings, bombings, or mass-grave finds.

        What did they do? Bribed Chechens, Albanians and Russians to fuck off? I don’t know, but it’s one of those unknowns that seems somewhat terrifying. To us eastern Europeans, all Vietnamese look harmless, they never act like thugs or intimidate ordinary people, but … how did they get rid of the other mafias?

  2. Tom Stone

    I flat don’t get this.
    He kills her because she won’t put out?
    And then spends more on chemicals than the cost of a short time with a hooker?
    Good grief, some say yes and some say no.
    And some of those who say yes are beautiful even if you are pretty ordinary looking, as I am.
    Strike up a conversation with five women and ask each to go to bed with you, the odds are high that you will get laid.
    You might wish you had stuck it in a garbage disposal afterward, but you will get laid.

    1. Hognose Post author

      Tom, write this down: murders are not rational, except for very short-term values of “rational.” That’s why you don’t get it, because any time your id told you to “kill this person now!” your superego said, “now, just wait a minute and think this through.”

      Due to an unhappy incident in high school, I always used to say, “The worst thing she can do is not say no to you, that’s only the second worst thing. The worst thing she can do is laugh in your face.” But, I subsequently learned that, depending on the question, the worst thing she can do may well be to say yes to you.

  3. Tom Stone

    Thanks Hognose.
    The worst thing my ex ever said to me was yes.
    And no, I don’t get why people do some things because I’m nuts in a different way than they are.
    I will say that I have deeply regretted that duelling has gone out of style more than once because some people need killing.

    1. Aesop

      Indeed.
      “Needed a heap o’ killin'” is still adequate exculpatory excuse in most Southern US jurisdictions to this day.

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