When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Gravity

wile-e-coyote-fallingYes, its your Lords and Betters at the CDC again (the same ones whose dream is to give the verbiage of paid Bloomberg propagandists a scientific patina, and save Bloomberg the money by looting the taxpayers to pay for the propaganda, instead). This time, instead of agitating for gun bans, they’re decrying the fact that old people fall down.

Every second of every day an adult aged 65 or older falls in the United States. Every 12 seconds, one of these older Americans is admitted to the emergency department for a fall; and every day, 74 of those will die from a fall.

Rail, rail against the gravitational attraction of the sphere! But in fact, it sounds like at least 11 out of 12 of the oldsters bounce right back up; only the ones that wind up in the ER and in the clutches of the Medical Establishment seem likely to parlay their falls into the ultimate fall that ends six feet under.

This year, on the first day of fall, Thursday, September 22, 2016, CDC along with the National Council on Aging (NCOA) Falls Free Initiative, invites you to join us in observing Falls Prevention Awareness Day (#FPAD2016). This event raises awareness about how to prevent fall-related injuries among older Americans.

At least, this time, they’re not trying to ban something. Or are they? Maybe “small throw rugs,” but mostly, the advice at the page is remarkably sensible, especially the recommendation of “activities that strengthen legs and help with balance,” although it’s a headscratcher that the one they namecheck is the #stuffwhitepeoplelike Tai Chi and not the #besthealthimprovement strength training.

But then, Conquest’s Laws apply here — it is a government bureaucracy.

Exit question: if we have “Fall Prevention Day,” why don’t we have “Tyranny Prevention Day,” where everybody buys a gun? Preferably, one that the national socialists at the CDC would like to ban?

14 thoughts on “When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Gravity

  1. James

    Tyranny Prevention Day?!That reminds me of the slogan I live by,”Be Reasonable,Demand The Impossible”

  2. gebrauchshund

    The math seems pretty simple, lessee…86,400 falls per day, 7,167 go to the ER, annnd…74 do the permanent faceplant?

    Panic! Crisis! Spend more money on powerpoint!

    Apparently somebody at the CDC had to come up with something to justify that juicy year-end bonus. At least they’re not claiming it’s “for the children”.

  3. Keith

    Actually I’m surprised they didn’t mention not scaring the grand kids if there present.

  4. Bill T

    Math:
    86,400 falls
    74 deaths from falls
    _______
    0.08 % (Not much unless one of the 74 is you)

    86,400 falls
    1,767 serious enough to go to the ER
    _______
    8.3% (still not much)

    1,760 falls serious enough for the ER
    74 deaths
    ______
    1.6%

    With numbers like these we need to require wheeled supports for anybody over 60 (You know, like the little walkers we pot kids into before they learn to walk. Call it “Common Sense Senior Support”. Of course we need a Federal agency to enforce it. CSSSA with badged, armed agents. Just what we need!

  5. Aesop

    The official medical term for this phenomenon is FDGB: Faw Down, Go BOOM!

    That’s an average of 150 trips to the ER per state/per day. (Reality is more in more populous states, less in more sparsely populated states, but the point is made.)

    Also, surprisingly, the CDC is underreporting deaths there. They’re probably only concerned with falls that result in things like cranial bleeds and death in short order. (As opposed to those that result in being thrown into a van, and being taken to your daughter’s apartment to play with the grandkid.)
    The reality is that quite a notable number of such falls turn into fractured hips, and deaths during subsequent surgery, or from pneumonia due to immobility, or from complications, or from hospital-acquired infections. So the fatality rate for the frail elderly is likely a good bit higher than what the bare stats would suggest. Old people don’t bounce well, and they’re particularly stubborn, to the point of mobility-ending fractures, about not using walkers, canes, or waiting for help, and charging off to the potty at 2AM because they’re sure they’ll never do a faceplant, and end up lying on the floor for 6-10 hours, in winter, and come to the ER with fractures, hypothermia, and dehydration.

    Do I want the feds doing anything about it?
    Hell no.
    But the incidents are in fact a big deal.

    And thanks again for yesterday’s link love. With that in mind, no points for guessing what exact type of patient ended up coming in to my little corner of the ER last night, as I was tending the orange jumpsuit posse. Really.
    Fluffy got a Scoobie snack as reward. And I’d never seen a tooth extraction done in the ER before. Except in this case, it was one, or rather one-half, of one of Fluffy’s (canine, natch…)incisors. I now have a third item for the PSA in question.

    And I have never heard such girlish caterwauling as the patient in question, as his doctor tended to the wounds.

    1. Hognose Post author

      So was the canine, er, canine embedded in one of Dindu’s extremities, or in his gluteus?

      Your writing is entertaining as hell. You ought to collect and organize the ER stories into a book.

      1. Aesop

        It was extremity, not his brain housing gluteus; my streetcorner hypothesis is after Fluffy chomped him, he compounded the mistake by trying to pull away, and turned punctures into deep lacerations, and broke off a fang. Possibly because it wasn’t stressed to take the doggy’s hanging weight.
        Which probably didn’t do much for Ofcr. Pooch’s disposition, and probably earned the subsequent bites.

        Glad you find it entertaining. I’ll probably save the book until I retire. Too many lawyers looking for a payday, and all that.

  6. James B.

    Good Lord, people?
    Tai-Chi?
    Giant childrens walkers?
    Strength training?
    Isn’t the answer obvious?
    If we simply BAN FALLING DOWN, or, for that matter BAN STANDING UP….or BOTH…
    – then these tragic accidents CANNOT POSSIBLY EVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

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