This story goes a long way to explain why Homo sapiens has not evolved into some benign master race. He’s been going in the other direction, as the first two words of the news headline suggests: “Florida Man…”
A Tampa police report says Joaquin Mendez, 23, put on the [allegedly bullet-proof] vest late Saturday and “wondered aloud whether it still worked.”
Police say his cousin, Alexandro Garibaldi, 24, pulled out a gun and responded, “Let’s see.”
Officers found Mendez outside the house with a gunshot wound in his chest. Mendez died at a hospital.
Well, we guess that’s a confirmed “no” on the bullet-proof bit. So it’s just an accident, if an unfortunate one. No one to arrest here, right?
According to the report, Garibaldi initially told officers he found his wounded cousin after hearing a gunshot. However, police say a witness described Garibaldi shooting Mendez.
Police say the vest was found inside the house with a gunshot.
Garibaldi was held Sunday without bond on a manslaughter charge. Hillsborough County jail records didn’t show whether he had an attorney.
Moral of story: lying may work for people who have their name on skyscrapers or who have shadowy foundations full of slush money, incorporated in third-world tax havens like Canuckistan. But it probably isn’t going to work for you. That lie was probably the single element of the crime that catapulted Garibaldi from a negligent homicide rap that he could probably have plea-bargained down to a misdemeanor, and the manslaughter charge he’s wearing right now.
Mama Gump used to say, “Stupid is as stupid does.” No word on who was holding Garibaldi’s and Mendez’s beers, and watching this.