When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Table Lamps and Neckties

Necktie2The table lamp hurt him, but the necktie finished him off. (Of course, we know that neckties don’t kill people, they’re used to kill people — an important distinction).

He was sitting up on the couch in his living room, a small throw pillow over his head and the shards of a broken table lamp scattered over his body.

“It almost looked like he was relaxing,” a law-enforcement source told The Post.

The lamp had been smashed over his head, sources said. But coroners said Friday that it was the necktie that killed him.

Cooley’s door had not been forced, and there was no sign of robbery — he had $192 in his pocket and was still wearing his good watch.

Investigators are eyeing two possible suspects, a source said Friday.

As it happens, the mystery described in that March New York Post article was soon pretty much resolved, according to this April New York Post article:

The suspect, 60, whose name is being withheld by The Post, was arrested in New York on March 3, the day of the murder of Christopher Cooley, 78, for securities fraud in Indiana, sources said.

The “known con man,” a source said, has been sitting in an Indiana prison cell since March 22.

Police have matched the suspect’s fingerprints to a broken lamp used to strike Cooley, whose body was found in his apartment March 16.

Why are they withholding the name of a homicide suspect?

So is CBS Local. Why?

It turns out the person of interest was arrested by the NYPD the day Cooley’s body was found, but the arrest was for an unrelated charge.

The man was picked up at the request of Indiana authorities who wanted him for an unspecified financial swindle. He was taken into custody and extradited back to Indiana.

During their investigation the NYPD found the man’s fingerprints inside of Cooley’s apartment.

Cops said they believe the Indiana man also suffered from cancer, befriended Cooley during treatments, and may have been stealing money from him.

The reticence of the newsies may simply be because the police have not charged the Indiana man with Cooley’s murder, yet. Or it may be that he’s some kind of diversity bean they don’t want to associate with criminality.

Still… financial fraud, and beating with a lamp, and strangling with a necktie. Sounds like a real charmer. The kind of guy the New Yorker and the ACLU learn about over wine and cheese with his defense attorney, and make into a poster child. He’s not a bad man, Your Honor. He’s just misunnerstood. He’s depraved on account-a he’s deprived, that’s it.

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