When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Thumbs

wile e coyote strangledSure, the press is making a big deal out of the strangle-er being an Uber driver, but it’s more interesting to us that she was a stragle-er in the first place. Don’t most people seem to just kind of pick up,  without needing to be told by a judge and a jury of their peers, that it’s not OK to try to choke the living snot out of somebody?

But apparently the strangle-er, one Yolande McAllister, didn’t get that message from her mom, so she’s going to have to take it up with the authority figure in black robes. You know what they say: strangle in haste, repent in crowbar motel.

A 32-year-old Uber driver has been charged with assault in the third degree, strangulation and disorderly conduct after an incident that occurred last week on the University of Delaware campus. Police say the driver, New Castle resident Yolande Mcallister, attacked a 19-year-old college student at the residence hall where he was being dropped off after an argument turned violent.

“They had a disagreement and it escalated from there,” Capt. Jason Pires, spokesman for UD Police, told Newark Post Online.

The incident reportedly occurred at 10 PM in the parking lot of George Read Residence Hall on Laird Campus. Police say Mr. Mcallister repeatedly struck and attempted to choke the student passenger, who was later taken to Christiana Hospital and treated for face and neck injuries.

via Uber Driver Charged With Strangling Student In a Dorm Parking Lot | Observer.

The strangle-ee is apparently going to live, which is about the outcome you expect from You Go Grrl Crazy Lady™ trying to choke out a normal, healthy male. (Most of us who have dated or married redheads have personal experience). Fortunately, all our enemies have promised never to strangle anybody, so all our infantrymen can be girls now. Now, that’s what we call progress. Actually, we don’t, but the You Go Grrl Crazy Ladies™ are all over it, like ugly on an ape.

 

7 thoughts on “When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Thumbs

  1. archy

    *** Fortunately, all our enemies have promised never to strangle anybody, so all our infantrymen can be girls now.***

    All the time I was in tanks, nobody ever tried to strangle me. Well, aside from our XO tank commander, when he saw what I’d done in his CVC helmet….

  2. Mike_C

    >about the outcome you expect from You Go Grrl Crazy Lady™ trying to choke out a normal, healthy male
    As it happens, Yolande is a man. (Or a woman with serious hormonal problems.)

      1. Xwire

        Man, if I looked like that & had birds name, everyone taking the mick etc. I think my thumbs would be getting itchy. How much you want to bet the passenger cracked a joke (‘hey yolande sugar…’) and he snapped.

      2. Aesop

        “Police say Mr. Mcallister repeatedly struck and attempted to choke…”

        Despite the well-deserved disdain for “layers and layers of editors, I was thinking that line was a small clue.

        I was about to observe the above with curiousity and some confusion, when I found the photo of aforementioned usual suspect here in the comments, which answers all.

        And I note that “deranged Uber driver” is becoming the same level of meme as “disgruntled postal worker”, which can’t be doing anything wonderful for Uber’s stock price nor their daily clientele and long-term business prospects.

        But this sort of thing should start boosting the sale of personal autos among the hitherto semi-privately chauffeured class, who think taxis and car services are zero-risk options.

        1. John M.

          I don’t know what the worry is. Uber banned drivers and passengers carrying guns a few months back. No guns, no problems, right?

          -John M.

      3. Mike_C

        >Looks like it got me again
        You have a long ways to go before rising (or sinking?) to the level of being unable to tell front from back on a person, lions or no lions. So I sure can’t point fingers.

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