When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Neckties

Necktie2Maybe Ahmadinejad is on to something by not wearing a tie. As any bar fighter will tell you, the most pointless article of men’s apparel can be a choking hazard.

Cooley was found on March 16 after his worried sister called the super’s office from her home in Connecticut, asking that someone look in on him.

He was sitting up on the couch in his living room, a small throw pillow over his head and the shards of a broken table lamp scattered over his body.

“It almost looked like he was relaxing,” a law-enforcement source told The Post.

The lamp had been smashed over his head, sources said. But coroners said Friday that it was the necktie that killed him.

Cooley’s door had not been forced, and there was no sign of robbery — he had $192 in his pocket and was still wearing his good watch.

Investigators are eyeing two possible suspects, a source said Friday.

via Rich widower found strangled to death in apartment | New York Post.

The guy was strangled with the tie, apparently, but another story suggests he was also smothered with a pillow, and it’s a classic locked-room mystery.

A 78-year-old man was discovered dead with a pillow over his face inside his Upper East Side apartment Wednesday night, police said.

“All I saw was his legs. I was calling to him ‘Mr. Cooley, Mr. Cooley,’” said building super Ray Kasaj.

The 11th floor resident was declared dead by authorities shortly after – who also discovered blood on Cooley’s shirt and a living room in disarray.

A broken lamp lay by his feet, along with shattered glass nearby. Cooley had $192 in his right pocket and was still wearing his wrist watch, police sources said.

Investigators also determined the deadbolt to Cooley’s pad was locked, ruling out a break-in, police sources said.

So, who had his keys? This isn’t rocket surgery.

8 thoughts on “When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Neckties

  1. obdo

    oogh, now you have me scared about that scottish scarf.

    hopefully the kiwi coat will protect me from evil.

  2. SPEMack

    That’s why us fine Southern gentlemen have been wearing bow ties for a generation

  3. SemperFido

    I dragged a guy over his desk by his tie once. I was a little more excitable back then in my youth. I avoid wearing them myself.

  4. John M.

    There’s a persistent rumor in the Muslim world that the necktie’s vaguely cruciform shape makes it explicitly Christian clothing. That is part of what makes it unpopular in the Muslim world, including not being a part of Iran’s formal, otherwise Western attire.

    I say “part of what makes it unpopular,” because, really, who among us wouldn’t turn down neckties if we could make some vaguely plausible case that it was against our religion?

    -John M.

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