While we’ve heard of creeps poisoning animals, especially dogs, with antifreeze, we’ve never heard of it being used on humans before.
Well, there’s a first time for everything.
Following family arguments, Jacqueline Patrick, 55, twice tried to kill her husband Douglas, 70, in October and on Christmas Day 2013, by spiking his cherry Lambrini, a drink favored by teenagers looking to get drunk on a low budget.
“Perhaps most shocking of all was the note she gave to the London Ambulance Service purporting to be from her husband, stating that he did not wish to be resuscitated,” Detective Inspector Tracey Miller, of London’s Metropolitan Police, said in a statement.
She was undone, appropriately enough for an English would-be murderess, by her poor grasp of the English language.
The forged note showed a misspelling of the word dignity as “dignerty.” When police later asked her to write the word, Jacqueline Patrick made the same mistake.
Kids, this is why they teach you spelling.
Another would-be Professor Moriarty that didn’t particularly challenge Inspector Lestrade’s so-so investigative chops.
The couple’s daughter Katherine, 21, was sentenced to three years in jail after admitting to inciting her mother to poison her father, while Jacqueline pleaded guilty to two counts of attempted murder at the family’s south London home.
Douglas Patrick was rushed to a hospital fighting for his life, and tests revealed he was suffering from antifreeze poisoning.
“His wife was informed who then told doctors she thought Mr. Patrick may have drunk a blue liquid by mistake. The hospital, finding it strange that she hadn’t volunteered this information earlier, called police,” said the police statement.
Look, kids, if you’re going to commit awful crimes and then brazen ’em out, you need to learn one simple mnemonic: DAMN.
This is secret SF O&I tradecraft we’re giving up here, so pay attention.
Never change your story.
We see a major failure of several points on here. Of course, once PC Plod/Inspector Lestrade got going, it was all but over for our heroines. Because these two criminal masterminds were also no-gos at the secure communications station.
Mother and daughter’s mobile phones were seized and revealed a series of incriminating exchanges, including “I got the stuff I will give him some later delete txt tell no one ok,” and “He feels sick again I gave him more delete this.”
No word on what is going on with the husband/father of these two inept would-be Lucrezia Borgias. It’s our understanding that anti-freeze poisoning can cause permanent damage even when it’s not fatal, and the guy was already 70 years old.
Well, they wanted him out of their life. Now they’ve got what they want, unless he starts coming on Visiting Day.