When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have voodoo-linked sex trafficking

Nobody got whacked in this case, but it was just too weird an example of human depravity not to blog.

Spanish police said Monday they had dismantled a trafficking ring they said used voodoo rituals — including animal sacrifice — to force Nigerian women into prostitution in Spain.

How you use animal sacrifice to — wait. Belay that. We don’t want to know. We really don’t want to know.

Six traffickers were arrested and four of the victims freed, police said in a statement.

The women, who came to Europe on dangerous, makeshift boats, were recruited in Nigeria, where they were enticed with false promises of employment.

But once they arrived in places like the Spanish holiday island of Mallorca, they were forced into prostitution.

Hey, they wanted employment. The traffickers didn’t say what kind, did they?

Authorities said the traffickers attempted to keep the women submissive by performing “tribal rituals” in Nigeria that sometimes involved “animal sacrifice”.

via Spanish police dismantle voodoo-linked sex trafficking ring – Yahoo News.

The Nigerian Scam jokes write themselves: “Hey, sailor, I’ll show you a good time, and transfer my late father’s $500 million into your bank account.” Or maybe, “Boom-boom short time, or I shoot the dog.”

I suppose we should be grateful that the human traffickers stopped at animal sacrifices.

Update

You can’t make these things up. While Spain is dealing with an epidemic of press-ganged Nigerian whores, Pennsylvania is trying to figure out how to license strippers. (Exercise for the reader: where do they carry the license? Pockets seem to be impractical). Why are they doing this? This excerpt from the article may be a clue:

An employee registration, which would cost $50, would have to include a photo and the person’s name, height and weight, date of birth, home address and phone number, along with other information.

What are the odds that the main sponsor of this legislation, Rep. Matt Baker (R-Bradford), got burned by ordering up a lap dance from a stripper who turned out to be a porker? And then couldn’t get her phone number? How could that happen? Well, maybe there’s another clue:

Baker, who said he has never been inside a strip club, also wants to stop clubs with nudity from serving alcohol.

The Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board said there’s nothing in state law or board regulations that would prohibit exotic dancing or lap dances at places it licenses. A provision in the Liquor Code that banned “lewd, immoral or improper entertainment” was struck down by a federal appeals court in 2006.

Baker said his bill, by removing liquor sales from clubs with full nudity, would test the limits of the federal court precedent.

Alright then: he wound up trying to social engineer the phone number from a chubby dancer after ingesting a bad ice cube, a known occupational hazard of celebrating state reps nationwide. And now he gets his revenge by manipulating the state code.

Anybody believe that “never been inside” line? It sounds as fishy as orca breath, but we dunno, the guy seems so clueless it might be true.

6 thoughts on “When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have voodoo-linked sex trafficking

  1. guy

    “…where do they carry the license?”

    Tattoo on the butt.

    Expect diligent inspectors regularly asking to check licenses.

  2. Tim, '80s Mech Guy

    “press-ganged Nigerian whores”

    Saving that one for later.

    As for Dick-less Matt Baker, he needs to lighten the eff up, or better yet go hang out at the State Police Range with corporal whats-his-nuts, I’ll spring for some ammo.

  3. Tom Stone

    I had a neighbor in oakland who was very serious about studying classic african drumming and who was veryy talented. A nice guy, always polite and helpful to the kids on the street ( Not too helpful,just a good guy)
    He went to Haiti and came back 6 months later wearing white and “Being Ridden”.
    A Santeria Priest and changed, big time.
    Not in a nice way either.
    I talked to him once when he came back and instantly wanted an 11-87 loaded with silver slugs.
    That man turned me from a skeptic to a believer right quick.
    “Voudoun” or Santeria is some seriously ugly shit.

  4. Tennessee Budd

    Where to carry the license? Good timing. As of a couple of weeks ago, I’m back together with an ex. While in Florida, where she’s from, she got new panties, among other clothes. Once home, she was putting her clothes away, & showed me a pair of panties with a little pocket sewn on the outside back. We couldn’t think what it was for; I suggested maybe the idea was condoms? Obviously, no–they’re licensed-stripper panties. If I can find an email addy for you, Hognose, I’ll send you a pic.
    No nudity & alcohol? Florida had that as law (may still) in the ’80s & ’90s, or at least Duval County did. In ’90-’92, the bar just outside the gate at NAS Cecil Field sold beer, & had chicks on a stage dancing to the jukebox until they got down to their teddies or undies, then that was it. Boring-ass place.

  5. looserounds.com

    hell man!! PA, has some great strips joints!! and …supposedly…

    and I heard.. not that i would know or anything.. some really great escorts that will come to your hotel with a phone call for private shows, massages and…. company?

    its always amazed me at the strange laws and rules when it comes to this kinda of thing. some states say nude dancing is ok. but no booze. or booze but can’t see the ta-tas. Or bare top, no bottom. or booze and no naked ass. or no booze. I even been to one in Kokomo Indiana where you could get food and booze, but the Guns of the Navarrone had to be covered up with pasties.

    it is always nice to know our betters know exactly the right combination of rules to keep us safe from ourselves or from seeing something that might get us all het’ up and do something Mom would not approve of.

Comments are closed.