When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws have Large Ruminants

The yout’ is recovering from a bout of senseless gun violence in a Hispanic section of … Spain? Oh, wait, and it wasn’t gun violence. He actually got injured running with the bulls in Ciudad Rodrigo.

Thing is, they call it running with the bulls, but it really needs to be running well ahead of the bulls. Or, well, the bulls get their licks in, and you wind up like this guy.

Benjamin MillerThe technical term for what he’s experiencing is: “Sucks to be him.” On the plus side, he’s gonna live, and despite Ferdinand’s best intentions, he does not seem to be neutered.

A 20-year-old American man who was badly gored during a bull-running festival is out of intensive care and improving, a spokesman for the Clinic Hospital in western Salamanca said Monday.

The hospital spokesman identified the man as Benjamin Miller and said he was out of danger and not likely to have to undergo any further operations. He spoke on condition of anonymity in keeping with hospital rules.

However, Tom Eppes, a spokesman for the University of Mississippi, confirmed Monday that Benjamin Milley, originally from Marietta, Georgia, and a sophomore at the school, is the injured man.

For some people, “sophomoric” isn’t just a word. It’s a way of life.

The man suffered several wounds, including a 40-cm (16-inch) goring in the thigh, when he was caught by a fighting bull during a festival in the nearby town of Ciudad Rodrigo on Saturday.

Images showed the 20-year-old being repeatedly tossed by the bull and in obvious pain at being gored and pushed along the ground. Helpers eventually managed to pull him up from the street to safety.

via American man gored by bull in Spain out of intensive care | National & World News | Seattle News, Weather, Sports, Breaking News | KOMO News.

More images of the bull having his way with this poor fellow after the jump. No real blood, though.

“Uh-oh. This is probably gonna hurt.”

Milley Bull Goreing 01“Yeah, it did. What’s he gonna do next…Ow! That’s what he’s gonna do next.”

Benjamin Miller“Oh, man, here comes the pavement –”

Benjamin Miller“OK, he’s made his point.” (No pun intended). “Maybe he’ll let me crawl away….”

Benjamin Miller“Has anybody got a Plan B? C’mon, I asked you guys for a Plan B! Pulling Ferdinand’s tail does not seem to be working….”

Is it just us, or does that picture look as if the bull has carefully considered Mr Millet/Miller/Milley’s actions under the criteria of the Ancient and Honorable Darwin Society, and has elected to remove the gentleman from the gene pool, specifically by sterilizing him on horn’s point?

Mess with the bull, get the horns.

10 thoughts on “When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws have Large Ruminants

  1. Martin S

    Play stupid games, win stupid prices.

    No Darwin Award, but I think he qualifies for an honorable mention.

  2. GBS

    Nothing like having a photo of a bull driving his horns up your ass spread all over the globe. Perhaps if he pulled his pants up, he might be able to run a bit faster.

  3. Ernie

    He is issuing forth the war cry of his people, which sounds surprisingly like the squealing of a 10 year old girl.

  4. Expat

    Well………Here’s a young American in Europe having the time of his life. You SF guys did things you can’t talk about (and -thanks to out glorious leaders-ultimately of zero importance to world affairs) but this guy has a story, complete with scars that’ll keep him in pub stories for 50 years.

  5. obsidian

    Running in front of or riding a bull is not a way to have fun.
    Not quite the time of your life getting a nasty bull horn shoved up your ass.

    1. Hognose Post author

      It hurts, and it irritates the bull, too. Not that this guy’s thinking too much about what he did to the bull right now.

  6. emdfl

    I’m thinkin’ that if he had been wearing his pants above his ass he would have been able to run faster…

    1. Hognose Post author

      So, what we have here is another tragic victim of the dreaded fashion failure. AKA wardrobe malfunction.

      You ever notice how all those university feminist types who rant about their horrible exclusion from male power centers, or something, don’t seem to be clamoring for “inclusion” in the particular “traditionally male” activity of running with the bulls (or from the bulls, as our gelded hero probably wishes he did more successfully?) Hey, they want us to have to carry women in Rangers, they should probably demand equal representation on the horns of Ferdinand here. It’s not like they’re wearing long dresses and high heels. Or concerned about looking ugly.

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