We mentioned this guy in passing back in our last Tour d’Horizon: a mentally ill career criminal who’s been in the jug 11 times since 2006. He made news back in March when he murdered his 12-year-old brother. His statement at the time was: “Honestly, I just felt like killing.” Despite being in a place where he presumably can’t get those evil old guns, he still seems to “feel like killing.” In this case, his cellmate, an armed robber. And once again he did it without access to firearms:
Andrew Ward, 27, was arrested on suspicion of first-degree murder in the Wednesday night killing of cellmate Douglas Walker, 33, in a Maricopa County jail in Phoenix, the Sheriff’s Office said in a statement.
Walker was stabbed in the eyes with a golf pencil, the statement said. His throat was cut with a plastic playing card, he was beaten, and his head was smeared with peanut butter. Paramedics later discovered that his breathing passages were obstructed by a plastic bag and a peanut butter sandwich that was forced down Walker’s throat, the Sheriff’s Office said.
When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have peanut butter, playing cards, and plastic bags, too.
While Walker is no great loss, and the Sheriff points out that Ward’s only one of 400-odd murderers awaiting trial in Maricopa County, it has to make you wonder about the people who think that making guns magically disappear will bring forth a new dawn of peace, love and understanding. WWJLD: What Would John Lennon Do?
Imagine all the peo-ple… stabbing eyes with golf pencils, woo-hoo!
You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.
I hope some day you’ll join us. Cut throats with cards, just having fun…
But it was probably the gun he used on his brother that made this nut job nuts, right? Er, no. He stabbed his brother to death.
Honestly, we feel like killing guys like this, with a good old-fashioned judicial hanging.