When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have RVs

After: John C Heldstab as an arrested perv.

After: John C Heldstab as an arrested perv.

The RV was the tool that this pervo prestoopnik used to seduce a — prepare to be grossed out — 8 year old boy. Perv is 71 and will be going up the river for 10 years — incidentally the span of time he buggered the kid — so his kiddie-diddling days are pretty much over, except that it’s state time, whence a perv can still be paroled in short order. We’ll see.

The plea deal broomed a bunch of kiddie-porn and other lesser charges to get him to plead to some serious felonies. The perv had guns and had a half-hearted attempt at suicide (or suicide by cop) as the warrant was served on him. Of course, it wasn’t the gun that made him do it.  And while he loses his right to guns as a felon, he doesn’t lose the ‘weapon’ he used to injure the kid.

The Portland Oregonian’s Emily Smith reports:

John Christian Heldstab, 71, of Beaverton, faced 29 charges related to the abuse. In a plea deal, he pleaded guilty to three counts of first-degree sodomy and one count of first-degree sex abuse and agreed to a 10-year prison sentence.

Judge Kirsten Thompson’s courtroom was nearly empty when Heldstab answered her questions with short, quick replies. “Yes, ma’am,” he said to each of the four charges she read from his plea agreement.

Before: Heldstab in uniform briefing the press. This was around the time he started 'de-briefing' the boy.

Before: Heldstab in uniform briefing the press. This was around the time he started ‘de-briefing’ the boy.

And now for the part we didn’t tell you, the part that was important enough for Smith to lead her article with it: John C. Heldstab isn’t just a pervo prestoopnik, but he’s a retired US Army officer. Not just any officer, but a two-star general. During the military response to Hurricane Andrew in Florida in August, 1992, Heldstab briefed the press on military support to the disaster (From about 2 minutes to about 7:20 in the video, then he comes back on to answer questions). You might remember the hurricane as the one that destroyed Homestead Air Force Base south of Miami.

Lord love a duck. The Jarheads will never let us live this one down. What’s more, two guys who served under him (not that way!) say he was a great general and a great boss. (Just don’t take an RV trip with him — and his wife). It just goes to show you never really know a guy. Lord love a duck.

15 thoughts on “When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have RVs

    1. Hognose Post author

      No collection necessary, if the nature of his crime is known to his fellow prestoopniks, they’ll take care of business. For that reason, he’ll be segregated, in what the Feds call SHU (Special Housing Unit) where pervs, cops, and cellblock troublemakers do their time in solitary. Dunno what his state calls it, but every prison has to have it. (The pervs and cops are segregated for their own safety).

  1. E. W. Sumner

    Why is it that WE the People have to house, clothe and feed this turd for ten years? It’s CHEAPER to execute his sorry arse. No wonder we have so many of these fricken pervos. We keep letting them LIVE.

  2. Aesop

    hopefully his predilection and his prior service are coincidental, and pedophilia isn’t a points-bonus on Army General promotion boards. Although with the end of DADT, and the likelihood that sodomy will morph from optional to mandatory, anything’s possible.

    But ten years sounds about right to me, with one caveat:

    To preclude any untoward incidents to him while in the pokey, I’d suggest his ten years be served sealed inside concrete from head to toe.
    If he survives to a successful parole hearing thusly encased in a few years, by all means then let’s chisel him out and turn him lose.

    1. Hognose Post author

      No. That would require his service to be recharacterized by a board, I think (Not a lawyer or especially — ptui! — a JAG). I reckon his wife will be spending the money while he’s in the jug.

      One thing could change that. This case only hit the courts because the victim came forward. The victim could petition the Army, claiming that Pervo’s Army status was used to seduce or intimidate him, making them relook his service. Or another victim could come forward. One doubts that a perv like this was content with one victim, and there may be other buggerees suffering in silence, or worse, acting out by victimizing another generation.

      1. tedthebear

        I may be wrong but I believe if you draw a military retirement check and you get incarcerated the checks stop.
        I know of a retired Army Captain that was working for the Washington state Department of Licensing that was busted for having a 14 year old female in his van along with a truck load of kiddie porn. He went to jail but is probably out now and up to his old tricks!

  3. Gunny G

    Nah, this Leatherneck won’t rub salt into the wound as he once chased a prisoner, a Navy Chaplain, who molested boys for decades. Unfortunately the maggot did his time and is free (25yrs). There is scum in every service.

    Now if you want to laugh about Army bootcamp, well, I’m right in there with ya! haha

    1. Hognose Post author

      Gunny! There were girls in my bootcamp. No lie (experiment, 1970s). And in jump school. Sad thing is they outperformed some of the guys. They’ve gone back to wimmens alongside men in Army basic; pretty sure the Corps still segregates (right thing to do in my view). I have a post that’s percolating about what happens when you (1) press really hard to put women in command and (2) won’t listen to a negative word about one of these preselected princesses. (If you’re guessing, men get relief-for-cause evaluations, you’re tracking).

  4. Dan Frain

    Its going to be a long ten years. Lots of guys with eight year old sons live & work in prisons. Lots of victims of sexual abuse live & work in prisons. Lots of victims who are still pissed off live & work in prisons. Any way you look at it, it’s gonna be a long ten years.

    IF his state has a special sex crime facility, he may be able to walk around a bit. Otherwise, home is going to be about 6 x 9 with concrete walls and a bean hole for chow. Two showers a week, and an hour out for exercise, usually on a different day. It’s going to be a long ten years.

    Hopefully, the local news will remember him when it’s time to get out. By then, even this eight year old will be legally allowed to buy a hunting rifle.

    If it were me, I think I’d borrow one and avoid the paper trail.

    1. Hognose Post author

      The general’s victim is an adult now. Only one victim came forward, and he was raped from ages 8 to 18 or so. Here’s hoping he comes out all right; it took a lot of balls to come forward and ID his molester.

      As far as attraction to kids, just don’t get it. Must be something in the hard wiring in the head. If they can’t cure these guys it might be merciful to put them down. Maybe the docs will figure it out as more is learnt about brain structure and chemistry.

  5. Pete

    Whacko politicians and “advocates” of criminal monsters keep telling good citizens that it’s too costly to execute these sub-humans, and that perv’s are more miserable in prison (with free health care, cable TV, three meals a day, air-conditioning, etc…) than they would be in Hell. It’s nonsense. Yeah, prison is so bad that Charles Manson will celebrate his 80th birthday next year. Hard time? Don’t believe it! How about Randy Steven Kraft? Been in prison since 1989 for torturing, raping and murdering dozens of unsuspecting men. Kraft was born in 1945, so is an old man today. Is prison so miserable, so bad for these perverts, rapists, murderers? Especially when you consider that activist governors and presidents so frequently pardon or grant clemency?

    Let’s save taxpayers a big ole bunch of money. I’ll wager there are more than a few dozen citizens/parents/children who would volunteer their time, rifles and ammo to save taxpayers the expense of government having to hire a firing squad. Why are taxpayers robbed in order to pay for the food and healthcare and cable TV for these diseased, deadly animals? Politicians won’t dare ask for volunteers for a firing squad. So really, could prison be worse than execution? Is justice served? Ask the incarcerated murders and rapists. They will either laugh in your face for being a fool, or lie to you by telling you how very miserable they have been behind bars. Meanwhile, their life expectancy is longer than yours.

    Not just for Black men, but White as well;

    1. Y.

      Cheapest solution is just to evaluate, stick in the loony bin for five years and then give a choice: either you lose testicles, or spend the rest of your life in jail.

      Plenty of pedophiles actually prefer losing their balls – it makes re-offense very unlikely, since the urges go away due to lower hormone levels. Germans tested it on regula rapists back in mid 1960’s.., re-offense rates were <1%..

      Pity pedophilia isn't treatable. Yet. Given time though, it's probably just one or two brain areas, I imagine someone'll figure out how to wipe'em clean eventually.

      And it's not exactly a choice, really, for most abusers..
      (Yeah, I know some people abuse minors even if they aren't pedophiles, but they don't generally do it like this guy, year after year. It's a choice for them..)

      Like with psychopaths, some pedophiles don't seriously harm anyone, that is, don't molest minors. Maybe there should be a program, rewarding people with such urges to seek treatment before they fuck up.

      Figuring out who is and who isn't attracted to minors is sort of humiliating thus impossible for mass use by anyone except perhaps a spy agency.

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