Category Archives: When Guns Are Outlawed…

When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Stone, String and Feathers

The doctor is… [IN].

Stone, what and whaaat? Yes, stone, string and feathers are used in some kind of Congolese witch doctor ritual, which one of those vibrant “migrants” to Europe performed on the corpse of his deceased girlfriend.

He was absolutely sure she was dead, without needing a doctor’s opinion.

You see, he had brought the warm diverse vibrancy to the cold Ice People of Berlin, in part by stabbing the unfortunate woman 30 times and hacking her head off.

The Congolese refugee had applied for asylum in Berlin, Germany, where he is alleged to have carried out the brutal killing.

The man – identified by authorities as Yve M – is accused of stabbing his girlfriend 30 times in the stomach and chest before beheading the corpse.

Prosecutors claim he then cut off her little finger from her right hand and her left arm before decorating her body.

Don’t question it! Don’t be a hater. It’s his culture. 

Police found the victim – named as Tunay G – after her body had already begun to decay, reports Bild.

Hey, it may not have been the sort of Johnny-on-the-spot police work for which German rozzers were once renowned, but after the first dozen stabs or so, the rest is all free, right?

Her body had also been decorated with stones, string and feathers in what investigators believe was a “ritual killing”.

Authorities said the victim had died of blood loss and no murder weapon has been recovered.

Wait, was that before or after he whacked her head off?

The killing happened sometime on May 15 or 16 last year, but the body was not discovered until June 10.

The 39-year-old migrant was arrested on June 11 for the killing of his girlfriend, also 39.

via Refugee in Germany ‘beheads girlfriend in ritual killing’ in Berlin apartment | Daily Star.

Can you believe it? For all those centuries when Germans denied the absolute right of every pygmy, Watusi and just random tribesman in the Congo to come to Berlin and kill whomever he felt like doing some voodoo on, they were denying men ike this their basic human rights.

This is the sort of story that a certain sort of person will read, and remark, “What we need is more of these refugees.”

When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Explosives

In the Couldn’t Happen to a Nicer Guy Dep’t., Professor Bill Jacobsen at Legal Insurrection brings us news of the untimely departure of one Muhammad Hemada Walid al-Quqa from this vale of tears, in a flash of FOOM.

Bill quotes a Hamas propaganda outlet:

A Hamas fighter succumbed on Sunday to wounds he sustained a day earlier in an “accidental explosion” in the northern Gaza Strip, the Ministry of Health said.

Gaza Ministry of Health spokesman Ashraf al-Qidra told the Palestinian Information Center that 37-year-old Muhammad Walid al-Quqa died in the hospital on Sunday morning following an “accidental” explosion in al-Sudaniyya in the northern Gaza Strip on Saturday evening.

The Izz al-Din al-Qassam Brigades, the military wing of Hamas, said in a statement that al-Quqa was killed during “preparations” without giving details.

However, the statement went on to add that al-Quqa had been involved in “jihadist activities, including manufacturing and assembling explosives.”

Awwww. Those kids, they blow up so soon. He goes on to quote an Israeli paper, which adds one more amusing detail:

The Palestinian website al-Resalah, which is affiliated with Hamas, said the explosion that killed Quqa occurred in the Sudaniye area in northern Gaza.

The report quoted medical sources who said the Hamas commander had been brought to the hospital with his arms and legs blown off.

Don’t sweat it, Mo. We’re sure your 72 virgins will flip you twice a day.

And think of this: an Israeli and a Hamas new outlet basically agreeing on the cause of Mo’s untimely demise. Who says Jews and Arabs can’t agree on anything?

We have a certain sympathy for Mo; it can’t have been easy running FOOM School for his expendable student splodydopes. As T.E. Lawrence could tell you, it’s always a challenge to train Arabs. Yes, the red wire or the black wire does make a difference, Mo.

When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have 3D Printers

Anything can kill you. Anything. So it’s not terribly surprising that news stories have fingered a “laser 3D printer” in the untimely demise of a Berkeley California couple.

The couple, Valerie (32) and Roger Morash (35), who had met while studying at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, were found dead in their Berkeley, CA home last week. The couple’s pets, two cats, were also found. Valerie was a postdoctoral research fellow at the Smith-Kettlewell Eye Research Institute and Roger was a video game developer.

Though the definitive cause of death has not been released, many sources are speculating that they died from carbon monoxide poisoning. Carbon monoxide (CO) is a toxic odorless, colorless, and tasteless gas that is produced by fuel-burning machines, such as cars, stoves, furnaces, etc.

Strangely, though no autopsy has been released, sources such as The Daily Mail have suggested that a 3D printer or laser cutting machine was responsible for the carbon monoxide emissions. The machine was reported as being a “laser 3D printer,” though a friend of the couple said they owned a small commercial laser cutter and a small desktop 3D printer, neither of which were likely in use at the time of the couple’s death.

Of course, media being media, the story has been “too good to check” and has gotten global distribution, but nobody has actually suggested that the printer or laser cutter that the pair owned actually did them in, or even offered a likely mechanism by which such machines might have done so.

When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Sulfuric Acid

Meet Samir Hussein, the man in the mask.

Why is he in the mask? Because of skin loss due to an acid attack. The mask is not cosmetic (although it does somewhat minimize the shock of seeing his face), but it serves to cover skinless areas, which would be dangerously receptive to infection.

How did he get this way? Creeps. Being creeps.

Shop worker Samir Hussain was scarred for life when Michael McPherson threw sulphuric acid in his face outside Cineworld in Crawley, West Sussex.

Mr Hussain still wears a mask 18 months on, Brighton Magistrates’ Court heard.

Lee Bates, who was with McPherson at the time, was sentenced after admitting common assault, while McPherson, who admitted GBH, will be sentenced later.

Mr Hussain’s ordeal began when he and a friend, Yasir Khan, left a late-night showing of the film Straight Outta Compton at the complex in August 2015.

The court heard that they were approached outside the cinema by Bates and by McPherson, who told them: “You’ve seen a gangster movie; you can see gangsters now.”

Well, there’s the problem right there. Go to a thug-glorifying movie, expect to meet thug wannabees.

Steven Talbot Hadley, prosecuting, said Mr Hussain was punched by both men before McPherson retrieved a bottle of acid from his car and threw it in his victim’s face.

Mr Hussain, who suffered severe burns to his face, neck and right arm, has had a number of skin grafts.

via Crawley cinema acid attack: Man admits assault – BBC News.

It’s amazing that a brutal attack like this — click “more” to see Mr Hussein without his mask, which is not recommended for the sqeuamish, and remember that this is after dozens of operations and grafts — is not taken seriously in the British courts, but it evidently isn’t, judging by the suspended sentence bestowed on the first attacker.

Mr Hussein, mask off, after the jump. Again, not a happy picture.

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When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Twoo Wuv

On Valentine’s Day this year, we thought we’d discuss the epidemic of violence that’s sweeping the world. Not Gun Violence, as Gun Ban Barbie and the other bansters would have you believe: a much more serious problem, which does occasionally manifest with a gun, is Twoo Wuv Violence.

First, there’s the Wuv Twiangle version:

  • Former pilot Gerald Russell of Florida is one of 100 murderers that are paroled and living secretly in the state. He killed another pilot because he was in love with the man’s stewardess wife, and was sentenced to life in prison in ’82 and paroled in ’12. (FL no longer paroles first-degree murderers). The article doesn’t say how he did it.
  • Laborer Viusqui J. Perez Espinosa, 44, killed Ivis Alexis Portales Lara, 27, in Kenner City, LA, Nov. 11, 2015, and then cut him up into pieces and dumped him in a swamp. Most of Portales’s pieces have been recovered. Motive: romantic jealousy. (Just committing the murders Americans won’t commit; all three vertices of the triangle were aliens, for whom guns are sometimes outlawed).
  • Birmingham, England, where guns are outlawed: a young woman getting her mandingo on with a man twice her age was strangled after changing mandingos. The murderer had already attacked her new boyfriend with a knife, but she lied for the guy! So he came back to kill her. Strange are the ways of Twoo Wuv.
  • In Omaha, a seemingly perfect crime, in which a woman killed a romantic rival and then used her phone and email to impersonate the victim and break off her personal and professional relationships to cover up her death, has unraveled after five years.
  • In Bakersfield, CA, where guns are getting more outlawed all the time, a woman who didn’t want her husband to stand in the way of Twoo Wuv with Sumdood, and didn’t want to sully her reputation with a divorce(!), conspired with Sumdood to poison hubby with arsenic in banana pudding; when she got cold feet about that approach, Sumdood just stabbed the husband. He had tested the arsenic-laced pudding on a neighbor’s dog. (Another story says the victim was shot, and with “a .45-caliber Glock equipped with a homemade silencer”).
  • The Mounties got their man, and woman, in a teenage love-triangle-turned-murder-conspiracy in Kamloops, BC. In this case, a rifle was used. Defense lawyers are still trying to turn the convicted male triggerman loose on Canadian society; the girl who set the outgoing boyfriend up for ambush was sentenced to life without parole, which under Canuckistani law means she can be paroled in seven years.
  • This Las Vegas case deserves some more complete excerpting, because it was (1) some kind of love quadrilateral, and because it was both weird and depraved:

Two men were charged in the murder this week: Anthony Newton, 37, who police said was romantically involved with the same woman as the victim, and George Malaperdas, 31, the brother of Newton’s wife, a second woman who was romantically involved with the victim.

The body of Ulyses Cesar Molina — who went by “Cezar,” according to family — was found early Dec. 28 by a homeless woman sleeping in the lot on the 2000 block of Dolly Lane, near East Lake Mead Boulevard and Marion Drive.

Only a torso and legs were recovered, but a DNA test proved the remains were those of Molina, family said.

On Dec. 25, Molina was at the apartment of the woman both he and Newton were involved with, according to the reports, when Newton suddenly knocked on the door, came inside and began arguing with him.

As the confrontation played out, Molina was knocked to the ground, bleeding from the forehead, when Malaperdas, the second suspect, knocked on the door, the reports said. Malaperdas came inside and immediately joined in, kicking Molina and yelling about Molina having sex with his sister, Newton’s wife.

Malaperdas and Newton then tied Molina up with what may have been a phone cord, according to the reports. Newton stood over Molina, put his foot against Molina’s throat and stepped down until Molina “was not moving anymore.”

Once Molina died, Malaperdas admitted during a police interview, he and Newton removed Molina’s clothes, wrapped him in a sheet and placed him in the trunk of a car.

Newton left with the body, but the next day, Newton picked Malaperdas up, drove him to another residence and “had Malaperdas assist in the dismemberment of Molina’s body,” according to the reports.

The pair stuffed some of Molina’s remains in a suitcase, and then Malaperdas drove the car, which matched the description of a vehicle seen leaving the desert lot Dec. 28, to the spot where Molina’s remains were found, Malaperdas told police.

Ahhh. Twoo Wuv indeed. In case you missed it, that one eventuated on Christmas Day.

And that’s just the triangles. Then, there’s the spurned-lover attacks, like this charming case from India:

After the Vile Parle police arrested her neighbour Debashish Dhara from Kolkata for the murder, it has now come to light that he was not her ex-boyfriend but a spurned lover, who had been following her obsessively for quite sometime and she had rebuffed all his advances.

Dhara confessed before the police that he had been in love with her and after her for a long time, but she had rejected him when he had expressed his feelings to her.

….He allegedly tried to rape her, but when she fought back, he strangulated her with her jeans and then raped her.

He later tried to burn her but failed there as well. In a bid to mislead the police and make it look like robbery was the motive, he took some of her jewellery and fled from the spot.

Charming fellow.

Finally, there’s the Romeo-spurned-by-Juliet leading to self-destructive Twoo Wuv cases, illustrated by this case in Kenya:

The 16-year-old student at Ombaka Secondary School at Nyando in Kisumu County was on Sunday night found dangling on a rope in his room.

Witnesses said his demise marked the end of a two-month battle to retain his girlfriend who is a Form One student in the same school. The boy had shared his predicament with his family and friends whom he had told that he “was not ready to lose his love”, witnesses said.

The girl is said to have dumped him for a Form Four student in the same school.

Ah, yes. Female hypergamy in Homo sapiens. There’s a paper in that for some bold behaviorist, perhaps.

And finally, there are Twoo Wuv messes (in this case, literally) that defy characterization:

German woman ‘decapitated lover with circular saw in bizarre sex game’

woman has gone on trial in Munich on charges of murdering her lover with an electric circular saw.

The 32-year-old woman, named only as Gabrielle P under German privacy laws, is accused of killing her boyfriend while he was tied to the bed and blindfolded during a sex game.

After the killing, prosecutors allege she used the saw to cut off the head of her 28-year-old victim, who has been variously named as Alex H and Sebastian H in the German press.

Gabrielle P admits the killing but her defence lawyers plan to argue it was an unpremeditated act of desperation.

We honestly don’t know where some people find, uh, arousal. Each of the details seems more depraved and, well, inexplicable, than the last:

On the night of the killing, Alex H blindfolded himself with a pair of diving goggles blacked out with masking tape and told Gabrielle P to tie him to the bed.

Once he was secured, she is accused of killing him by holding the running circular saw through his chest.

The defence claims the saw was in the room because the couple were making renovations, and that she reached for it on the spur of the moment.

After Alex H was dead, Gabrielle P used the saw to remove his head from his body then covered his remains with a sheet. She did not return to the room and left the body undisturbed for six months.

It was not until she brought a new lover, Christian K, to the house that the body was discovered.

Instead of alerting the authorities, Christian K helped her bury the dismembered corpse in the garden of the house.

Pretty sure that is the first Circular Saw Murder to, er, circulate in When Guns are Outlawed. Here’s hoping it doesn’t get repeated any time soon.

To those of you whose personal relationships don’t resemble any of these characters, Happy Valentine’s Day from

When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have the Sea

In our ongoing series of unhappy examples of the general principle that anything can kill you, we give you the sea, specifically the North Sea, which claimed the life of a British policeman at the end of last month. The Beeb:

An off-duty police officer has died after getting into difficulties in the sea off the coast of Sussex.

PC Steven Williams, 29, who was based with the British Transport Police at Finsbury Park in north London, had gone into the sea off Brighton beach.

He entered the sea at Kings Road Arches on Sunday at 23:40 GMT. A woman who went into the water to help him managed to get out and raise the alarm.

He was rescued after a major air and sea search but died later in hospital.

Chief Constable Paul Crowther said: “Steven had his whole career ahead of him and he will be terribly missed by his colleagues and friends here.

via Brighton sea death: Off-duty police officer dies after rescue – BBC News.

We note that “a woman entered the water to help him” — perhaps British pluck is not extinct.

Brighton beach is a popular English recreational destination, but to say that late January is “out of season” is a colossal understatement. We can’t ask the late PC Williams what he was thinking, but the circumstances seem suggestive of suicide.

May God have mercy on his soul.

When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have High Winds and Cold Water

The poor truck driver was leaving Maryland, where guns are as outlawed as extreme anti-gun Governor Martin O’Malley could make them, so outlawed that Beretta moved out. He was southbound, enroute to Virginia, when a 40-knot gust slammed his rig into the guardrail.

And through it.

He had almost enough miracles. He survived the 100-foot plunge into the roiling, storm-tossed waves. He survived the egress from his damaged cab; the soaking in 45ºF salt water; the climb to the roof of his sinking tractor.

He survived the wait for rescue, but all the time, his core temperature was dropping, and his life was fading. When a Navy helicopter crew on a routine mission improvised a daring rescue, they took aboard a dying man.

The man was spotted atop the vehicle’s cab at about 12:35 p.m. and was recovered by a Navy helicopter. He died while en route to Sentara Norfolk General Hospital, reports.

The four lane, 23-mile span was experiencing winds in excess of 47 mph around the time of the accident, the facility said on Twitter.

The accident occurred in the southbound lanes of the Eastern Shore side at mile marker 15, reports.

A Navy spokesman confirmed to The Virginian-Pilot that a Navy crew based in Norfolk was on a routine training flight when they spotted the wreck and later rescued the driver, who has yet to be identified.

The water temperature at the time was just 45.5 degrees, according to the newspaper, citing National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration data buoys.

via Driver dies after tractor-trailer blows off bridge | New York Post.

Second report: Driver dies after tractor-trailer goes off Chesapeake Bay Bridge-Tunnel | Daily Press

These are the hearbreaking ones, where saving the guy’s life was that close.

Anything can kill a person, even an ordinary day on the job.

When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have the Snow, Wind, Stairs, and Windows

Despite a predicted nightmare storm, Manhattan doorman Miguel Gonzalez commuted from his Bridgeport, Connecticut home to be on shift on time. And as the snow fell and the wind howled, the last thing he did was clear the steps for his tenants, in the blinding snow and freezing wind — before falling victim to a nightmarish freak accident.

Indeed, anything can kill you, even in New York City, where guns are outlawed.

A doorman shoveling the steps at his Upper East Side building died Thursday in a freak accident – when he slipped while shoveling snow, tumbled down the stairs and had his throat slit as his head crashed through a window, police said.

Longtime doorman – Miguel Gonzalez, 59 who was planning to retire soon – was clearing the stairs leading from the sidewalk to the basement lobby entrance of 333 East 93rd St. when he lost his footing around 9:30 a.m.

The impact shattered the left window pane and left a pool of blood at the bottom of the steps.
Gonzalez, who suffered deep cuts to his neck and face, was rushed to Metropolitan Hospital, but couldn’t be saved. He was pronounced dead at 10:27 a.m.

Mike Gacevic, 54, a maintenance worker at the building next door, was also cleaning snow when he heard Gonzalez’s co-worker call for help.

“He said, ‘Please help, my coworker fell down,’” Gacevic said. “I just saw him bleeding on the floor… his neck was cut a lot…he fell through the glass.”

via Doorman dies after freak accident while shoveling snow | New York Post.

We were sitting down to write this when it also came in from Our Traveling Reporter… because if we didn’t sit down to write this, we’d have to go outside and tackle our own snow, a foot to fifteen inches from the same monster storm.

When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Charity Bins

We often say, “Anything can kill you. Anything.” But we were’t expecting this. We couldn’t have imagined this method of checking out in a thousand tries.

And yes, it happened in New Jersey, where guns are just about outlawed. (Or was it New York? To people living in the Free World, they’re the same thing). The New York Post:

A Mount Carmel woman who died after her arm got caught in the door of a clothing drop-off box was apparently removing bags from the container and was left dangling with her feet off the ground.

Judith Permar, 56, was standing on a step stool Sunday when it collapsed, breaking her arms and wrist and trapping her in the donation box.

Wait, what was she doing?

Stealing stuff. From a charity bin.

“She was fishing bags out and the ladder she was standing on gave way and she couldn’t get her hand loose,” Mount Carmel Township Police Chief Brian Hollenbush said when contacted by phone.

Permar died from blunt force trauma and hypothermia, according to the county coroner.

Permar reportedly went to the drop-off box in Natalie about 2 a.m. Sunday but was not found until 8:30 a.m. Monday. She was pronounced dead at the scene.

Cause of death: karma. Sure, the death certificate has the boxes for trauma and hypothermia checked, but that’s only because there’s o box for karma.

Bags with clothes and shoes that had been pulled from the bin were on the ground. Permar’s black Hummer was nearby with the engine still running, Hollenbush said.

Hollenbush, who knew Permar, described her as a very nice woman.

Well, apart from the stealing-from-charities bit.

“It wasn’t something that I would expect to be seeing,” he said when asked about the items being removed from the donation bin.

No, this is not something one normally expects to find, but apparently this lady was a serial charity-bin burglar:

In November, police received a report of a woman who was driving a black Hummer removing items from the bin, he said.

Maybe she was new to the whole second-story-man shtick? Because if there’s one thing that those guys value, it’s a good, sturdy ladder.

Family of the thief to sue the ladder manufacturer in 5… 4… 3….

When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws will have Knives, Bats and Meat Cleavers

Lifestyles of the violent and illegal aliens — in England, where guns actually are outlawed. Criminalien Bilal Miah would have had his ticket punched by knife-wielding, cleaver-chopping, and bat-swinging Dalya Saeed, if the UK didn’t have really good emergency services.

The punchline? Dalya was Bilal’s estranged wife, and she whipped out the knife after a meeting about child custody segued into four hours of intense sex. The Sun (UK):

Dalya Saeed, 35, is accused of stabbing Bilal Miah, 31, with a carving knife and trying to pull out his intestines after the pair had romped.

A court heard part of Mr Miah’s small bowel was cut from his body and thrown on to the bedroom carpet.

The taxi driver, who had remarried, told a jury he desperately tried to push his entrails back into his stomach after being attacked by his estranged wife at her home.

Saeed denied charges of attempted murder and wounding with intent when she went on trial at Birmingham Crown Court on Monday.

Mr Miah told the jury he was attacked by Saeed at around 10pm on October 19, 2015 after going to her flat in Moseley, Birmingham.

He said the pair had argued about custody of their daughter before they ended up back on the bed.

Giving evidence, Mr Miah added: “Suddenly in the blink of an eye, and I didn’t see the knife, she stabbed me twice in the belly.

“I can only assume the knife came from either under the bed or the pocket of her dressing gown.

“My intestines were out, everything was out and she was grabbing hold of them, trying to pull them.

“She broke one of them and threw it on to the floor but I managed to put the rest of them back in my belly.”

The court heard Mr Miah tried to flee the flat but Saeed pursued him into the street where she attacked him with a wooden bat and a meat cleaver.

“The female of the species is deadlier than the male.” Once, Britons learned that poem in school. But of course these aren’t exactly Britons, are they?

He was only discovered in a nearby doorway at 3am when neighbours heard his screams and called police.

The jury were told Mr Miah suffered 30 separate wounds and spent ten days in hospital, where he had two operations, but made a full recovery.

The generosity of the British taxpayer, which no doubt Mr Miah and Ms Saeed are not, knows no rational bounds.

Prosecutor Adam Western told the jury: “The cuts were so severe part of his small bowel ended up on the carpet.

“She caused his injuries. Her intention was nothing less than to kill him.”

Well, on the one hand, who knows what ideas were among the bats in her belfry? But on the other hand, homicidal intent does seem like a reasonable inference, under the circumstances.

via Dad ‘had to stuff his entrails back into his stomach when his ex-wife disemboweled him after 4 hour sex session’.