Category Archives: Don’t be THAT guy

Bubba the Pistolsmith

Can you put a HK p2000 slide on an HK45?

Uh, no.

Wait, what if the HK45 is an airsoft toy?

No. Double no.

Bubba's HK

Posted on Imgur and on Reddit:

p2000 9mm slide stuck on airsoft hk45 receiver, wont come off, what do i do>???

He asked for help, but didn’t wait for it. Instead, he forged on furiously. As you might expect, his solution to boneheadedness was MOAR BONEHEAD.

Bubba's HK after

UPDATE: I FIXED IT, well more like ripped the lower receiver apart. Everythings fine on the p2k except the o ring, got a little stab wound from the knife, but the hk45 gbb is destroyed, Lesson WELL LEARNED :DD

via NEED HELP – Imgur.

Then, another aspect of the Supreme Godhead of Bozosity that is the immortal Bubba attempted a similar kitbash, of two Glocks. At least they were both real Glocks and neither was a toy. But they were almost equally incompatible, and once again, the Frankengun got stuck.

G34 meets G26

The two donors are a Glock 26 (frame and slide) and Glock 34 (barrel). There’s a reason Glock sells you a whole replacement gun, not just a barrel and slide, when you want to make large changes in barrel length.

This particular Bubba got his Frankengun apart without having to destroy it. So there is that.

Why They Call it a Stun Gun

This guy has a Rendezvous with Darwin, at some disputed barricade… but here he learns valuable lessons about non-lethal electronic discharge weapons (like the stun gun he mistakenly calls a “taser,” because he’s an idiot), and electrical conductivity.

Or perhaps we should say he receives valuable lessons. Whether he actually learns is another question. We’re inclined to think not.

That is the version of the video that’s cut to thirty seconds to make it almost SFW. To see the moron in his full profane and n-word-rich glory (and a few seconds more of the amorous couple spooning in the chair laughing uncontrollably  at his twitching body), click “more” for the NSFW version:

Continue reading

Homeland Security is in the Very Best of Hands

What do you do if you’re the federal police? And say, your general jurisdiction, “homeland security,” is mostly nonsense; and your specific jurisdiction, things like borders, immigration, and pursuit of criminal aliens, is unwanted by your Washington lords and masters?

If you’re a senior manager, you cover for your people when they lose what we called in the service, their “sensitive items.” You spend your time on social-justice “diversity” initiatives, and other partisan politics, including promoting partisan gun control groups and initiatives. And you offer your agents, who joined up to lock up bad guys, bread and circuses. The latest circus being the ICE Top Dog dog show.

ITEM: We Don’t Need no Steenking Badges!

Hey, maybe Gold Hat was a DHS agent. (Of course, "We don't need..." doesn't come from this movie. But people think it does).

Hey, maybe Gold Hat was a DHS agent. (Of course, “We don’t need…” doesn’t come from this movie. But people think it does).

Well, apparently the answer to that is DHS, because starting in Fiscal Year 2013, through the first half of Fiscal 2015, roughly one thousand three hundred DHS badges or credentials came up missing. If you want the approximate breakdown of bozosity, CBP lost 900, ICE lost 300, and USCIS lost 200. A local news site, Complete Colorado, got the records with a FOIA request.

If you want to average it out as a rate, that’ over 500 badge lost every year, over 40 a month.

But the badges are only part of what the agency loses track of: 165 department guns went walkabout in the same period — almost 70 a year, 5 or 6 every month. No word on whether any of the agents who lost their badges lost their guns, too.

The department also loses about 1,000 computers a year.

No word on whether anyone suffered any career consequences, but really, what do you think? People go to work for the government because they know they won’t have to meet standards or be responsible for what they do. Impunity? It’s an entitlement. 

The truth is out there, as some lame TV show said. You know what else is out there? A whole metric crapton of missing badges and guns.

But it thinks it’s doing a great job: it used to lose 300 firearms in about the same period, so losing a gun or two a week, every week, is an improvement. Bonuses all around!

And over the years, they’ve made one small change to their FOIA returns: they deleted the column showing the cost of the lost item. This particular marker of waste is no longer disclosable, which is to say, it is now a state secret.

Homeland Security’s in the very best of hands.

ITEM: Immigration and Customs Enforcement Diversity Initiative

This is what they are doing, instead of operations.

From: HSI OPS TASKING
 Sent: Friday, January 15, 2016 4:10 PM
 To: #HSI SAC OFFICES; #HSI Assistant Directors
 Subject: HSI Attendance at Diversity Events (311)
At the request of Assistant Director Dennis A. Ulrich, Domestic Operations, Homeland Security Investigations (HSI), the following message is being sent to all Assistant Directors and Special Agents in Charge. Please disseminate to all appropriate personnel.
The Office of Diversity and Civil Rights is in the process of preparing event packages for diversity related events.  The event approval process takes several months, and ICE is committed to preparing the packages well in advance to hopefully avoid approval delays.  For FY16, each HSI SAC and AD will be able to nominate two employees for attendance at an approved diversity event.  Travel for your two employees will be covered by a Headquarters centralized budget, and registration fees will be covered by your office purchase card.  HSI will focus on diversity events that have a law enforcement focus.  The list of approved events are as follows:
Diversity Event Dates Location Website
National Latin Peace Officers Association (NLPOA) May 15 – 28, 2015 Milwaukee, WI
http://www.nlpoamilwaukee.org/
National Organization of Black Law Enforcement Officers (NOBLE) July 16 – 21, 2016 Washington, DC http://noblenational.org/2016_washington_dc_conference.aspx
Women in Federal Law Enforcement (WIFLE) July 18-22, 2016 Reston, VA http://www.wifle.org/leadershiptraining2016/index.htm
National Organization of Black Women in Law Enforcement (NOBWLE) August 17 – 20, 2016 TBD http://www.nobwlenational.org/events2.html
ICE Hispanic Agents Association (HAA) TBD TBD http://www.icehaa.org/
National Asian Peace Officers Association (NAPOA) August 15 – 18, 2016 New York, NY http://napoablue.org/
National Native American Law Enforcement Association(NNALEA) September 22-24, 2016 TBD http://nnalea.org/wordpress1/
Hispanic American Police Command Officers Association (HAPCOA) November 16 – 20, 2016 TBD http://hapcoa.org/
Asian American Law Enforcement Association (HAPCAO) TBD TBD http://www.aalea.org/events-3/
Each HSI Assistant Director and SAC are requested to provide two nominees and the diversity event he or she wishes to attend to HSI OPS Tasking atHSIOPSTASKING@ice.dhs.govno later than 12:00pm EST,  Wednesday, January 20, 2016.   The following information is requested:
  • Nominee name, office location, email address, and diversity event he/she would like to attend.
Please note that all diversity events will require approval at the ICE or Department level depending on the number of proposed attendees.  As a result,please DO NOT register any employee for an event until final approval is received.  Nominated employees will be contacted directly with a travel string once events are approved.

Many of the diversity-racket sponsors have integrated their messaging with The Party and the Bloomberg anti-gun groups. For example, the Hispanic American Police Command Officers Association (HAPCOA) displays the following banner:

diversity_propaganda_meets_gun_ban_propaganda

In other words, these are not apolitical groups intended to advance minority law officers; they’re partisan political groups and the HSI agents (and ERO officers, and CBP agents, etc. etc.) sent to these meetings are all part of the Party’s election-year messaging efforts.

Diversity! Diversity! Diversity is our Vibrancy!

Repeat as needed.

Homeland Security is in the very best of hands.

Item: The ICE Top Dog Contest.

You may recall, we’ve mentioned this before. As you might expect, most of the contestants are the Pekingese and Pomeranians of the headquarters staffers — the lapdogs’ lapdogs, if you will. But a few of the entries seem to personify the spirit of the line-dog 1811s, like amorous ol’ Bubba here:

ice_top_dog_bubba

Yes, Bubba is a real, ranked entry in the competition. You can see some more entries in this partial dump.

icedogsign

Actually, we could probably tie Sarah Saldanadanna in knots by sending in an anonymous tip that the Top Dog contest is haram because dogs are najis, unclean. She has offended against Islam!

If it were presented right, she just might behead herself.

Homeland Security? It’s in the very best of hands paws.

Hidden Camera: Automatic Weapons with No Background Check!

Steven Crowder goes undercover to find the “automatic weapons without background checks” at gun shows or dealers, that folks like Mike Bloomberg, Hillary Clinton, Martin O’Malley (who’s he?) and some guy with the funny name Obama insist he can.

Oddly enough, Crowder does not succeed in his quest.

“I need a gun, like, now! Will you sell me one without a background check?”

“No way.”

“Sonofableeep.

Best part of the video is, in our opinion, some of the clips of politicians saying absolutely inane things about guns and the gun market.

It’s entertaining for how creeped out people get by his repeated requests that they break the law for him. At one point, he’s telling a woman that he can’t pass a background check because he… well, you gotta watch the video.

When the Cop is a Crim

handcuffs_1An Oklahoma City cop who practiced “Badge-Enhanced Speed Dating” got good news and bad news from his sentencing judge. The good news: he gets to take his time served already — he’s been in jail on an astronomical bail — off his prison sentence. The bad news: considering the sentence he got, it isn’t going to do him much good. The Oklahoman:

An Oklahoma County judge Thursday sentenced a fired Oklahoma City police officer convicted last month of on-duty rapes to 263 years in prison.

The former officer, Daniel Ken Holtzclaw, 29, of Oklahoma City, was charged with 36 counts that accused him of sexually assaulting 13 black females between December 2013 and June 2014 while a police officer.

After a six-week trial, a jury found Holtzclaw guilty on Dec. 10 of 18 sexual offenses, including four counts of first-degree rape, involving eight victims.

The sentence is a harsh one, although we doubt you’ll quibble with it. It fits, in part, because of the general principle of hammering someone whose misconduct involved perverting the trust placed in him under color of the law, and in part, perhaps, because he was sometimes reported in the press as an example of The Great White Defendant, and his victims were classically powerless underclass black women. (He’s actually mixed race, but facts don’t matter when there’s The Narrative™, which must be sustained at all costs).

The Washington Post and AP managed to get a No True Scotsman fallacy out of the DA after the conviction. The Post:

“I think people need to realize that this is not a law enforcement officer that committed these crimes,” Oklahoma County District Attorney David Prater said, according to the AP. “This is a rapist who masqueraded as a law enforcement officer. If he was a true law enforcement officer, he would have upheld his duty to protect these citizens rather than victimize them.”

Sorry, no. This was an LEO, and one who thought that granted him unqualified immunity. And it came very close to doing so. Here’s a little detail from another story, from early in the case:

By the time the investigation concluded, the detectives had assembled a six-month narrative of alleged sex crimes they said started Dec. 20, 2013, with a woman taken into custody and hospitalized while high on angel dust. Dressed in a hospital gown, her right wrist handcuffed to the bedrail, the woman said Holtzclaw coerced her into performing oral sex, suggesting her cooperation would lead to dropped charges.

“I didn’t think that no one would believe me,” she testified at a pretrial hearing. “I feel like all police will work together.”

All told, Holtzclaw faces 36 counts including rape, sexual battery and forcible oral sodomy.

One additional accuser who came forward after Holtzclaw’s arrest later was charged with making a false report. Supporters of the former officer who congregate on social media express hope that others’ claims will be proven false, too, and friends wear T-shirts that say “Free the Claw.”

(The main thrust of that story is that ~170 state and local officers are delicensed annually for sex crimes, nationwide, minus a few states that don’t bother counting — like NY and CA. Now, this is out of millions of cops, but still, oh, brother).

Well, The Claw will be free, it says here, in 2279. A little too late to be much use to him. A jury thought 18 of those charges were proven beyond a reasonable doubt. (For some accusers, they convicted Holtzclaw on all counts, and for the others, they convicted him on no counts, so it’s likely the credibility of the accusers played a role in the convictions).

That t-shirt is probably not going to be worn at The Claw’s release party.

Cops like this are rare, but they’re out there. We tangled with a cop like this guy once, Paul V. Meaney Jr. It was a delight to see Meaney go to prison, even though he didn’t get 263 years. (It was Massachusetts. No criminal gets too long, because he needs to be back out voting for the Democrat of his choice). Meaney, too, told his rape victims that no one would believe them, because he was a cop and from a politically connected family. All it took was one of at least eleven victims we knew of to tell her mom (most of Meaney’s victims were adult women, but this one was a girl child) and the ball began to roll.

Why do cops ever support bad cops like Holtzclaw and Meaney? Well, in the end, they don’t: these two badged rapists went to prison, and cops from their own departments were instrumental in putting them there, and have no sympathy for them. But also, cops are always accused of stuff they didn’t do, by the sort of down-and-outers they haul in for substance issues, small property crimes, and prostitution. That creates a presumption of noncredibility of small-time criminals, and no one wants to believe the guy on their shift, whose wife and kids they know, is a serial rapist. So an unprincipled Holtzclaw or Meaney can get away with it for a long time before the hammer falls.

But in the end, the hammer falls. It only takes one victim who has a backbone and one other cop and one prosecutor to stand up for principle, and most cops and prosecutors will do that. We said the cops have no sympathy for the bad cops, and it’s true, but they’re going to feel pretty rotten about the impact of the crimes and punishment on the officer’s family, especially in a case like Meaney’s where his kids are attainted — not under law, but in the private estimation of the townspeople — by his misconduct. In the younger Holtzclaw’s case, the impact is on his parents, and it’s hard not to have sympathy for them — however they raised him, it wasn’t to be a serial rapist.

But if he’d given his family a thought, he wouldn’t have been. It was not the punishment that hurt his family, it was the crime and its inevitable consequences.

Update on OPM’s Data Breach

The OPM Logo: an eagle being stretched on a rack, or maybe drawn and quartered.

The OPM Logo: an eagle being stretched on a rack, or maybe drawn and quartered.

Well, a memo went out to all data-raped hands by the Interim Nº. 1 of our quaint little clearance-data village. It went like this:

Update – January 19

This is an update on the cyber incidents at the U.S. Office of Personnel Management (OPM). The following is an important message from Beth Cobert, Acting Director of OPM:

Dear Colleagues:

Who are you calling “colleague,” you incompetent leech?

All of us at the Office of Personnel Management want to wish our Federal family and all those who help support the important work of the nation a Happy New Year and a successful 2016.

We want to take a moment to update you on our response to the malicious cyber intrusion carried out against the Federal Government.

One fact you’re not going to see is that any of the overpaid, underworked technology weenies in the .fed has been held accountable. No one has been held accountable.No one is ever held accountable. Losing, to a foreign intelligence agency, the entire security clearance packets of the entire DOD and DOE cleared world, because they could not be bothered to take minimal precautions, is not serious enough for someone to suffer such a traumatic experience as having to answer questions or losing one’s five figure “bonus”.

We have completed the initial mailing of the notification letters to individuals impacted by the background investigation records incident. If you have received a notification letter, we encourage you to take advantage of the identity theft protection and credit monitoring services the government is offering at no cost to you.

Of course, they’re squandering vast amounts of taxpayer money, but squandering money is what they do. 

You can enroll in these services through the OPM website, www.opm.gov/cybersecurity. Individuals with enrollment questions may also call 800-750-3004.

As part of the budget law enacted in December 2015, OPM has been directed to provide identity theft protection and monitoring services to those affected by either the personnel files or background investigation records incidents for at least 10 years. We are fully committed to providing these services and are working through the details on how we will implement the new law. We will keep you informed as decisions are made.

We are happy to report that so far, about 2.4 million people have enrolled in the identity theft protection and credit monitoring services from the background investigation records incident in addition to the more than 1 million who enrolled as part of the personnel files incident. That enrollment rate is about triple the industry average, and we are glad that so many individuals are taking advantage of these services.

It’s been a big windfall for the crony, single-source “service provider” who got this business because of connections to the same OPM incompetents who caused the problem.

We would also like to remind you that OPM has established a verification center to assist those who have not received a notification letter but believe they may have been impacted by the background investigation records incident.

If you contact the verification center, you will need to provide your name, address, Social Security number, and date of birth.

To the people whose track record is entirely losing your name, address, Social Security number, date of birth, and more! Boy howdy, that sounds like a plan.

You will then receive a letter in the mail stating whether or not our records indicate your Social Security number was compromised in the intrusion involving background investigation records.

The verification center is also available to help those who have received a letter, but whose 25-digit PIN code is not working, and individuals who need a copy of their letter to be resent. The verification center can be accessed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, via a link on the OPM website. You can also contact the verification center by calling 866-408-4555, Mondays through Fridays, 9:00 a.m. – 9:00 p.m. ET.

We encourage anyone with questions about the cybersecurity intrusion to visit www.opm.gov/cybersecurity. We continue to refresh this site as new information becomes available and individuals may sign up for automatic updates.

That’s kind of like asking your friendly neighborhood Catholic priest for advice on heterosexual sex between consenting adults, isn’t it?

OPM and our partners across government continue to work hard to protect the safety and security of the information of Federal employees, contractors and others who provide their information to us.

‘Cause in the .gov, output never counts… just the appearance of input.

Thank you for your service to the American people, and for your continuing support. Have a wonderful 2016.

Sincerely,

Beth F. Cobert
Acting Director, U.S. Office of Personnel Management

Exit questions:

  1. Are they aware it’s a Diversity Violation to wish us a happy 2016? For Sunnis, it’s 1437. For Shias, 1393. In Japan, Heisei 28. For Jews, 5775. For baby ducks and Communists, it’s Year Zero. For them, it’s always Year Zero.
  2. Has anyone sincere ever signed off “sincerely?” Coming from Beth Colbert, the effect is that of a sign saying, “Honest Abner’s Used Cars.”)

They Turned their Lives Around Now.

This is a rare example of the contrasting effects of three commonly used anti-crime measures: (1) prohibiting persons likely to use firearms irresponsibly, such as felons and juveniles, from acquiring firearms; (2) displaying a “Firearms Prohibited” sign, and (3) carrying a defensive firearm. Its rare that you get an A-B comparison of two measures, let alone an A-B-C comparison like this. So let’s call them Options A, B, and C, and see which (if any) worked to deter violent crime.

On Saturday, 10 January 2016. Two Wealth Redistribution Engineers entered this frequently-robbed liquor store on West 87th Street in the blood-soaked City of Chicago.

chicago_liquor_store_robbery_02

Both were prohibited under 18 U.S.C. § 922(b)(1), (c)(1) from possessing firearms (both were juveniles, although at 15 and 17 they were already career criminals). At least one of them, as we will prove shortly, was carrying a firearm. So despite the mighty power of 18 U.S.C. § 922(b)(1), (c)(1), which is never enforced against actual armed criminals despite the 10-year Federal Pen penalty, it did not deter our two young thieves. Tentative Conclusion: Option A does not deter gun crime.

Now, look at the image above… what’s that little graphic in the lower right corner of the upper panel of the entry door — right above the horizontal bar? Let’s zoom in for a look:

chicago_liquor_store_robbery_01

Why, that’s a NO GUNS graphic. So it seems that these two young violent criminals (even before you learn what they did here, armed robbery is always a violent crime by definition — it is robbery accompanied by a threat to life) were not in the least deterred by the NO GUNS sticker. Tentative Conclusion: Option B does not deter gun crime.

Here’s the story, as reposted in the Chicago crime monitor site, Hey Jackass.

Citing preliminary information, authorities said two people walked into the store, and one of them hopped over the counter.

That person hit the clerk standing behind the counter, while the other remained in front of the counter, authorities said.

Meanwhile, a relative of the store owner heard a commotion upstairs and saw the robbery suspects from a stairwell, authorities said.

At this point, Options A and B having failed, the family member deployed Option C. Option C was effective. A third picture documents how (we warn that it contains an image of dead would-be robbers), and post it, and our analysis, after the jump.

Continue reading

No One is Allowed to Sell to Cartels … except ATF

ATF-Molan LabeThe ATF is jealous of its prerogatives. If you want to sell guns to the Mexican cartels, you’d better have an ATF badge. Otherwise you’re going to jail, like these two bozos convicted in December:

Jared Halliburton, 33, of Beaumont, pleaded guilty to unlawful dealing in firearms and was sentenced two weeks ago to 33 months in federal prison.

Halliburton told investigators from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives that he was part of a plan to deliver firearms for cash to a man in Houston, according to court records.

ATF agents were led to Halliburton and Mikhael Keyser, 32, of Sour Lake, after Mexican authorities recovered three fully assembled rifles in southwestern Mexico.

Keyser, who also pleaded guilty to illegal gun dealing and awaits sentencing in the federal Eastern District, bought gun parts in 21 separate transactions last year between July 17 and Oct. 16 from the TCB Tactical store in Orange, according to ATF agents.

They say Keyser simply bought “AR-15 type” receivers, which he and Halliburton assembled for sale.

The receiver is the part of a firearm that houses its operating parts and is not included in regulations for reporting excessive purchases.

The gun store was audited and cleared of any wrongdoing, U.S. Attorney John M. Bales said.

via Sour Lake man snared in arms deal – Beaumont Enterprise.

These guys thought they were being clever by buying receivers in bulk. When they do that, the ATF doesn’t get the multiple purchaser reports that FFLs must provide for handguns throughout the country and long guns in border states.

The long gun reporting requirement does not have any basis in any statute, but was an ATF regulatory initiative. Serial numbers provided in these reports are entered into ATF’s shadow registry of so-called “suspect guns,” and the more complete registry maintained, on behalf of the ATF, by DOD assets.

But the bottom line on this prosecution is this: you can provide three thousand modern firearms  directly to the Sinaloa Cartel, and see those guns used to murder at least two US federal agents, and you’ll get promoted, like gunwalking implementers David Voth and Hope McAllister, or maybe get a bonus, like all the managers, or maybe you’ll win the grand prize and get a year of six-figure Federal pay and benefits as a no-show freebie while already working in your new job for a crony corporation, like Gunwalker Bill Newell his ownself (after the Mexicans, having buried several hundred cops and special agents due to murders committed with Newell’s guns, vetoed the idea of him becoming ATF’s Man in Mexico).

Guys, Don’t Try This at Home

In the country where this took place, this was deemed a good shoot. Serial motorbike thief gets turned paraplegic with one to the spine.

The LiveLeak explanation (which may or may not be correct) is:

The thief tripped the alarm of the motorcycle waking up the owner of the dormitory. So he grabs his .380 Walther PPK and gives one into the thief’s spine, paralysed him from the waist down.

Three of his resident scooters have already been stolen this year alone. So he set up CCTV around the parking lot, install alarms, and wait for the thief to visit again. The thief have 5 warrants of grand theft auto and resisting arrest.

This would fail just about every prong of the Law of Self Defense test. Was there a threat of deadly force? No, some loser was stealing property. Was the threat sustained? No, at the moment he was shot he was running away. Consider the five-prong LOSD test put forward by Andrew Branca (for example, here, in this post on the Zimmerman case).

  1. Innocence: “a person who initiates a conflict should not later be permitted to justify his use of force as self defense.” Nope. The guy was stealing, not attacking. Different things. If he’d been confronted and then attacked, the person confronting him would probably meet the Innocence test, but this dude, nailing him from the balcony, does not.
  2. Imminence: “you can defend yourself with force only against a threatened danger that is about to happen RIGHT NOW.” Again, no threatened danger. Our shooter fails prong two.
  3. Proportionality: “the degree of force you may use in self-defense must be proportional to the degree of force with which you are threatened.” So our gunman is 0 for 3. Andrew helpfully explains further: “Usually, the use of deadly force against an unarmed attacker is fatal to a claim of self defense.” And this guy, worthless thief though he might have been, was not only unarmed, but not attacking.
  4. Avoidance: “you should not use force in self-defense if you can avoid the need to do so by making use of a safe avenue of retreat.” Again, as satisfying as it was seeing this bandit go down, he was not threatening death or grievous bodily harm, so shooting him was eminently avoidable.
  5. Reasonableness: “whether your perceptions and conduct in self-defense were those of a reasonable and prudent person under the same or similar circumstances.” And this may be while Trigger Man is not in the prison system in his country — it may be, in their culture, stealing a man’s motorbike deserves summary justice, kind of like horse stealing in the Old West.Just don’t try that here. 

There is no clear reason why the shooter was not jailed. He may have been within his rights under that nation’s law (anyone know that language?). He may have applied baksheesh to the police or the courts. He may have been an off-duty cop. Just be aware that, while it’s entertaining to watch this guy sink to his floppy, defunct knees, we can’t do that stuff here. You’d wind up in prison, while any assets you had were buying homey some 24″ rims for his wheelchair.

We’ve got no sympathy for the would-be bike booster who got himself shot. To Hell with thieves, and from now on his life is a form of Hell on earth, and there’s a sublime justice in that, eh?

Now, we wish that kind of vigilante law was the law here, but as the five principles of self-defense listed above tell us, it is not. A stolen motorbike is what insurance is for, not a PPK, unfortunately. Except where this literally limp loser chose to ply his trade. Too bad for him. There’s no dumbass like a criminal dumbass, in any nation in the world.

For in-depth coverage of self-defense realities, buy Andrew’s book and attend one of his seminars (or do his online seminar) that is specific to your state and/or the states where you travel regularly.

Exit question: is getting a motorbike for “free” worth a life of wheelchairs and colostomy bags? Is it worth not having your Johnson function ever again?

 

How One Scot Nearly Launched a War with Kyrgyzstan

michael_mcfeatWell, that’s what they told him. Michael McFeat was a welder from Perthshire, Scotland, enjoying an exotic tour abroad working in a Kyrgyz gold mine. (A literal gold mine; Kyrgyzstan’s economy is largely based on extractive industries).

McFeat enjoyed the job and his mates, a mixed bag of Kyrgyz local workers and expat professionals and skilled laborers, mostly Europeans like himself. Due to dietary preferences, perhaps, there were separate chow halls for the expats and the locals.

McFeat enjoyed the exotic aspects of working far from home in a place of which his Scots family and friends not only knew nothing, but wouldn’t reasonably expect to.  And one story circulated among the expats about the national delicacy, Chuchuk. Here’s Chuchuk in the butcher’s shop:

Kyrgyz Chuckuk national delicacy in shop

Errr…. what is that? And here it is, “serving suggestion.”

Kyrgyz Chuckuk national delicacy

The expatts’ not knowing what went into Chuchuk led to a number of leaps of faith, bold assumptions and ribald suggestions. One of which McFeat mcfeatured in a light-hearted Facebook post:

Kyrgyz McFeat Facebook postWith that, the horse you-know-what hit the fan, and the great-many-times-grandsons of fierce steppe horsemen more or less demanded satisfaction. McFeat lived to be hidden by cops (who were just about as angry at him as the lynch mob was, but determined to do their jobs) and smuggled out of the country. “And stay out!” was the verdict, as he was warned against returning for five years.

You see, something got lost in translation. Chuchuk is not horse you-know-what. It’s a savory sausage made from horsemeat in a natural casing (which is horse intestine, if you didn’t know).

McFeat, back with his family and safe, has since learned about Chuchuk, apologized profusely, and wants everyone to know the guys in the picture — his friends and co-workers from the mine — had nothing to do with his “horse penis” Facebook post.

Indeed, it looks like they enjoyed the treat, even if they did have some doubts about where on old Dobbin’s anatomy it came from.

But this was in a class with stepping on a Thai coin (which has the image of the king on it — big no-no) or touvching an Arab with your left hand — a nuclear cultural awareness fail in the megaton range.