Category Archives: Don’t be THAT guy

Striker-Fired Gun Loose in a Bag = Bad Idea

It wasn't his foot this time.

It wasn’t his foot this time.

Unfortunately for a former member of the Indianapolis Colts, this is one of the cases where Experience gives the examination before the lesson, and since the student has assumed ambient temperature, the retest will not be scheduled.

A former NFL player died Tuesday after accidentally shooting himself in the stomach.

Zurlon Tipton, 26, a former Indianapolis Colts running back, was dropping off his car at a dealership in Roseville, Michigan when he reached into a bag, firing a gun inside.

Tipton was hit in the abdomen and taken to the hospital. He was alert and able to talk during the transport, police said according to the Detroit News.

But officials confirmed on Tuesday afternoon that Tipton had died.

Not that unusual. Exsanguination internally; he popped the round into a major vessel or an organ that was heavily vascularized.

Tipton, who had a young daughter, went to get a transmission leak on his vehicle fixed between 9 and 9:30 Tuesday morning, the car dealership’s manager Mark DeMara told the Detroit News.

He was putting his personal belongings inside the bag when the shooting happened, authorities said.

via Zurlon Tipton who played for the Indianapolis Colts, dies after accidentally shooting himself in a car dealership in Michigan | Daily Mail Online.

Holsters, people. Also, one gun in your car and your little ditty bag of personal stuff you don’t trust your car dealer with is plenty.

Tipton has some history with guns, says the Detroit News:

Early Christmas morning Tipton was arrested for firing a gun outside his girlfriend’s home in the Indianapolis area, according to police. The Indianapolis Star reported Tipton was charged with criminal recklessness with a deadly weapon. According to media reports, the prosecutor’s office declined to pursue charges against him.

Tipton told Greenwood police he went to the home after he received threatening texts from his girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend stating the woman was going to be harmed. Believing the ex-boyfriend was inside the home, Tipton fired one round from an AR-15 assault weapon, police said.

The Colts put him on waiver last December, although what relation (temporal? Causal? None?) this has with his 2015 gun problem is unknown.


Between writing this and it going live, two young (23-24 years old) knuckleheads in Stoughton, Mass., were playing with several things that ought not to be mixed:

  1. A firearm, to wit a pistol, legally licensed to one of the individuals;
  2. Judgment Juice™, which both of the worthies had consumed in super-therapeutic quantities; and,
  3. Some kind of camera(s) with which they were filming their tomfoolery.

It is our observation that the presence of a camera lowers the IQ of all within range approximately 30%. And the dyscognition produced by ingested ethanol is well known. While private drunkenness is not society’s business, private drunkenness  with firearm escalates the behavior from Mere Stupid, which is the normal operating level for a large part of society, to Felony Stupid.

As you might expect, one drunk pointed the gun at the other drunk, pulling the trigger and expecting a “click.” It gives a new meaning to the term Dead Drunk.

Dead Drunk his ownself is on a mortuary slab, awaiting autopsy, and Dead Drunk’s Buddy is on house arrest with an ankle bracelet, awaiting trial. His license to carry has been revoked and the local cops have divvied up his other guns, if any with one of the two politically connected “bonded warehouses” that scam guns with the help of the police.

Mama Gump used to always say, “Stupid is as stupid does, but not for long if stupid does it with booze and a gun.”

What Do You Do with a Traitorous Journalist?

hangmanIn Egypt, they’re finally getting around to addressing Islamist-terrorist propaganda, and one way they’re doing it is sending two Al-Jazeera “journalists” — news producer Alaa Omar Mohammed Mohammad and news editor Ibrahim Mohammed Hilal — to the gallows, along with Asmaa al-Khateib, a “journalist” for Rasd, a Moslem Brotherhood front.

That’s, if they can get their hands on them — the journalists have reportedly bugged out and the court sentenced them in absentia. 

The same trial also sentenced former President Mohammed Morsi, who did his best during his one-year reign, during which he seized absolute power, to turn Egypt into a Moslem Brotherhood Islamist state (with the support of a certain United States President), to death. It probably makes little difference for Morsi, as past trials have already sentenced him to death for terrorism and the Wadi el-Natrun prison break of 2011, to life in prison for espionage for Qatar, and to 20 years for arresting and torturing protesters and incitement to violence during his brief and bloody reign.

Naturally, American media are appalled that journalists should be held accountable for what they do.  The New York Post:

An Egyptian court has sentenced six people, including two Al-Jazeera employees, to death for allegedly passing documents related to national security to Qatar and the Doha-based TV network during the rule of Islamist president Mohammed Morsi.

Morsi, the case’s top defendant, was also sentenced to 25 years in prison. He was ousted by the military in July 2013 and has already been sentenced to death in another case.

Saturday’s verdicts can be appealed.

The two Al-Jazeera employees – identified by the judge as news producer Alaa Omar Mohammed and news editor Ibrahim Mohammed Hilal – were sentenced in absentia along with Asmaa al-Khateib, who worked for Rasd, a media network widely suspected of links to Morsi’s Muslim Brotherhood.

The Brotherhood was banned and declared a terrorist group after Morsi’s ouster.

The Brotherhood was also a banned terrorist group for most of Egypt’s history as an independent state. (Morsi was a member, and his brief and disastrous interregnum resulted from its unbanning). It’s also banned as terrorist organization in Bahrain, the UAE, Saudi Arabia, and Syria, as well as Russia. Note that Qatar, the national sponsor of Al-Jazeera and the recipient of the journalists’ pilfered secrets, is one of the few nations in the region that is Moslem Brotherhood-friendly.

As far as its ties to terrorists go, who murdered Egyptian President and Middle East peacemaker Anwar Sadat? An Islamist group, inspired by and closely aligned with the Brotherhood.

Say what you will of the Egyptians, they know exactly whom they’re fixing to hang.

Larry Correia Channels Gersh Kuntzman

Yes, these words are a direct quote from Kuntzman's article. Wet, or what?

Yes, these words are a direct quote from Kuntzman’s article. Wet, or what?

Kuntzman (we wonder what his name was, before he changed it?) is the infamous New York “reporter” who wrote a story claiming, among other things, that firing an AR-15 made him lose control of his bladder and gave him PTSD, or words to that effect.

Everyone in Gun Universe has been jeering at this guy, but along comes Larry Correia (yes, the author of the Monster Hunter series of books, and the author of the infamous “HK: Because you  suck. And we hate you” explication of HK marketing in Ernst Mauch days) to apply the Kuntzman brand of quivering and quailing to questions the Great Man might address next. Larry, take it away:

Dear Kuntzman, big fan. I am trying to go green in order to save the Earth. Dying polar bears make me sad. Should I buy a Toyota Prius?

– Carbon Neutral in Carson City

Dear Carbon, I drove a Prius once and it changed me forever. As soon as I climbed inside the minimalist brutalist interior of this carbon fiber Japanese death machine it was as if I was driving a monster truck. I pushed start. The engine was a throaty roar like a thousand nuclear jet bombers. I immediately soiled my trousers to prevent this beast of the land of hentai from raping me. Tentacles are NOT OKAY. In my haste to escape, I touched a lever, and the windshield wipers began beating like a reaper’s sickle threshing horror.

Seriously, go Read The Whole Thing™ — because that’s just a taste, to give you the flavor of Larry’s satirical curb-stomping of this clown. If that doesn’t put you in a great mood to start your day, you’re a bigger curmudgeon than we’ve got (and that’s saying something). As for Kuntzman, no, we won’t link him — he was looking to bait clicks, let’s break his palpitating little heart. He apparently doesn’t realize that millions and millions of actual girls learned to shoot the “horrifying, dangerous” AR-15 in the last 50 years when a version of it’s been the service rifle. (And millions more actual girls as civilians, plenty of whom shoot really well).

We’d call him an anatomically explicit female pejorative, but we’d be demeaning both women and cats — who have a small part to play in Larry’s ASK KUNTZMAN! story too.

Personally, we hope he makes it a regular feature.

As for Kuntzman, this is why you should teach your sons to fight for their lunch money. Giving it up to bullies for 12 years of NY public schools clearly leads to malnutrition that stunts the mind. Not to mention the ‘nads.


No Fool like an Old Fool Dep’t

Future Feds of America

Future Feds of America

A retired priest from Dresden, Maine, fell for the oldest trick in the book — the honey trap. But then, he didn’t have to carry the 3+ pounds of cocaine she asked him to, through the international airport, did he?

But that’s OK. Senator Susan Collins, R-ME, who was in the news recently for believing that all the gun owners who didn’t do it should be punished for the Orlando massacre, was able to get the international drug smuggler sprung.

Martin, who is staying with his son in Las Vegas, had been in a Spanish prison since July 2015, serving a six-year sentence. In March, Collins and eight of her Senate colleagues had asked Secretary of State John Kerry to negotiate his release.

Officials say Martin was one of more than 100 Americans over the age of 60 who were duped into serving as drug mules for international criminal enterprises.

Martin was arrested and sentenced in January after Spanish customs and border agents found him in possession of 1.4 kilograms of cocaine. The drugs were concealed in real estate documents that Martin had agreed to pick up in South America and was trying to deliver to a woman he had fallen in love with online.

via Retired pastor from Maine back in U.S. after release from Spanish prison – The Portland Press Herald / Maine Sunday Telegram.

Why Collins did it, God only knows. Maybe she has a personal interest in keeping the coke channels open.

It would have harmed no one but a felon to leave Martin in prison, and it would have been a salutary message to other would-be drug haulers.

Assclown of the Ides: Rudi (Hans Rudolph) Gresham


Gresham in a photo that used to be on his own website — wearing someone else’s junk. The beret, captain’s rank, CIB and Master Parachutist badge, to name a few, are all phony.

This poser was so incredibly slick that even experienced Special Forces commanders were fooled by him. We’ve been watching this case develop for over two years. Until we first heard about it, we had taken Gresham — who was everywhere, man, like the guy in the old country truck-drivin’ school — as a blowhard and a self-serving crapweasel, but even we’d accepted his SF bona fides.

It didn’t occur to us to FOIA his amazing record, but it did occur to several SF online veterans’ groups, like Guardian of Valor and SF Brothers, that have a public-facing side and a private side, as well as others that have no visible overt presence at all. And they began seeking his records.

As the waves from the active reconnaissance reached Gresham, he began to delete incriminating claims and documents to cover his tracks. But he was too late. Guardian of Valor has the story, although it’s far from completely posted yet.

Hans Rudy Gresham, who, up until about a year ago, was also with Burch in this charity, has also claimed for years to have been Special Forces, and a number of times claimed to have been retired at several ranks.  During the investigation, which was conducted in conjunction with our counterparts at Green Beret Posers Exposed,  and SF Brothers, we found that he claimed to have retired as a Lt, all the way up to a Col.

Well when he was supposedly still serving in the Green Berets, he was also selling ads on the radio as seen in this photo we grabbed for WTMA’s memories from 1971.  WTMA is a radio station out of Charleston, South Carolina where Rudi is from, the caption from the photo reads, “WTMA salesman Rudi Gresham poses in the WTMA control room (1971).”


It looks like even there and then he’s posing: as DJ Johnny Fever. Back to GOV’s tale.

Rudy has spent years spinning webs of lies, telling people he served with General Yarborough in Vietnam, he has been able to get people to believe his lies to the point that he has gotten thousands and thousands of dollars from high profile people.  He even had the Green Beret community fooled for many years believing he was a retired Green Beret officer, some had their suspicions but couldn’t prove it.

Up until about a year ago Rudi was also a board member of that National Vietnam Veterans Foundation, he was listed on their website as Director of Charity. Now we find out that he was also not what he claims to have been all of these years, telling people he was a Green Beret that served in Vietnam when his official records paint a totally different story.

via Hans Rudolph Gresham, Former Senior Advisor To The VA Secretary, Posed As Special Forces Alongside Thomas Burch – Guardian Of Valor.

So what did his records say? Go to Guardian of Valor and check ’em out. He seems to have made PFC more than once (suggesting that for him, rank was a 2-way road). And that’s it. No Vietnam time, we’re sorry to say. Is something missing? The Archives insist that there are no further records.

Go to Guardian of Valor and Read The Whole Thing™.

We’ll leave you with one exit thought:

Here’s the man, the myth, the legend in his own mind, Rudi Gresham, recently:

Gresham in a photo that used to be on his own website -- wearing someone else's junk.

and here’s some other dude. Now compare the two pictures!


Separated at birth?

But it’s not really fair to compare Gresham and former President Carter. Carter really was an officer in the Navy; he didn’t get out as a Seaman Second Class and then spend he rest of his life conning people that he was a  Lieutenant Commander or Captain. Carter really was President; the country elected him, which in retrospect isn’t the dumbest thing the electorate has ever done, or will do, even though we thought it was for a while. But he was and is almost painfully honest.

On the other hand, Gresham has pretended to be a retired Captain (see the image above), a Lieutenant Colonel, Major, Colonel, you name it, anything but a PFC. He’s awarded himself SF qualification, and a Master Parachutist badge. (Your humble blog host doesn’t have the Master Blaster wings, unlike many of his peers, and yet it never occurred to him to do a Gresham and just pin the ever-lovin’ thing on). If Rudi Gresham ever told the truth about anything, it’s probably because he got confused about which lie he’d told to which person or media outlet.

But Gresham was good at two things — impersonation and self-promotion. He weaseled his way into the Special Forces Association and Special Operations Association; he conned people including SF legends and general officers that he had served with them (!) and convinced them that they must just have forgotten him and his unctuous ways.

(Continued overleaf, or it’s Great Wall O Text here. We just don’t feel like putting more pictures of this phony bag of fail on our page).

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G4S Security Theater Strikes Again

G4S logoFor those of us who lived through it, we’ll never forget the curious spectacle of a post-9/11 Congressional lynch mob demanding that lousy security theater firms like Argenbright give up their responsibilities to a new Federal entity, the polyincompetent TSA — which then gave all the duds and losers from Argenbright preference in hiring.

Argenbright’s spirit lives on today in G4S, formerly Group 4 Securicor, which bought it out, and seems determined to be the private-sector TSA. As is well known, no one good, decent, honest, competent, moral, ethical or intelligent has ever been employed at TSA in any capacity whatsoever. The same seems to be true of their private opposite number, G4S.

We’ve mentioned G4S here before a time or two. Let’s run them down first before we get to what’s new:

  1. One of the soldiers who had to cover G4S's unperformed Olympic contract.

    One of the soldiers who had to cover G4S’s unperformed Olympic contract.

    19 July 12: We take note of G4S botching a half-billion-dollar security contract for the London Olympics so badly that Britain had to fill the gap with 20% of the British Army, large hunks of other counties’ cops, and — all the way to the bottom of the barrel — TSA gropers imported from the USA. Yes, they were so screwed up that the TSA was a step up.

  2. 16 March 13: We beat up on Richard Branson and his pretentious Virgin Airlines for their mistreatment of a British soldier, and for blaming it all on G4S — while pointing out that G4S isn’t a particularly competent outfit.

Indeed, our explanation of G4S’s history and proven performance from that one deserves to be quoted, just so we don’t have to explain the Great Wall of Fail that is G4S, completely de novo.

G4S is a massive global conglomerate, which digested Wackenhut and Chubb among others. It is optimized to win governmental, lowest-bidder contracts. As a result it provides, almost exclusively, low-paid, low-skilled, questionably-credentialed bozos as security guards; you might remember G4S getting caught napping (literally) at Oak Ridge last year, following up within months by getting caught napping (figuratively), which led to a re-examination upon which they got caught cheating (literally).

The "S" in G4S is for sleeping on the job.

The “S” in G4S is for sleeping on the job.

They’ve also been caught napping (literally) in Britain (Image). G4S was also in the news in 2012 for completely botching Olympic security, requiring a bailout from the same British soldiers they’re insulting now. It’s impossible to find a single link that covers the entire shambolic disaster that was G4S’s Olympic non-performance; just brew up a bag of popcorn and Google or Bing up “G4S Olympics,” and settle in for an hours-long Lord Love a Duck session.

…G4S is descended in part from Argenbright Security (through Securicor and Group 4 Falck), a similar bottom-feeder security firm whose serial lapses enabled 9/11 and inspired the creation of the federalized United States alternative, the Transportation Security Administration (which recruits from the same pool of minimum-wage substance abusers and roughly matches G4S’s bottom-feeder performance).

OK, that was then, so why are we bringing all this up now? Because the latest G4S Security Theater fail involves the one identified Orlando massacre shooter.

He worked for G4S. So did a guy named Dan Gilroy, an ex-cop.

Daniel Gilroy said he worked the 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. shift with G4S Security at the south gate at PGA Village for several months in 2014-15. Mateen took over from him for a 3 to 11 p.m. shift.

Gilroy, a former Fort Pierce police officer, said Mateen frequently made homophobic and racial comments. Gilroy said he complained to his employer several times but it did nothing because he was Muslim. Gilroy quit after he said Mateen began stalking him via multiple text messages — 20 or 30 a day. He also sent Gilroy 13 to 15 phone messages a day, he said.

Hey, but just because he was a extremist Muslim, didn’t mean he wanted to kill people, did he?

“I quit because everything he said was toxic,” Gilroy said Sunday, “and the company wouldn’t do anything. This guy was unhinged and unstable. He talked of killing people.”

Gilroy said this shooting didn’t come as a surprise to him.

The company didn’t want to lose a preferred employee like Mateen, who received his five-year-employee shout out in 2012 already. They can always get hold of former cops who don’t want to kill anybody, but a loyal mohammedan with murder on his mind is a rare find indeed.

As it turns out, this case of Sudden Jihad Syndrome was years in the making. It involves a jihad preacher and enabler whom a soft judge sprung from prison extra early, (and the FBI just declined to arrest again, because Moslem).

Finally, G4S is also in the news because it’s got a very, very rich contract (almost a quarter of a billion, or half what it got for not supporting the London Olympics) to run a bus line transporting criminal aliens away from border arrests, shifting the resulting crime wave into interior cities and spreading it around.

Naturally, another imam warned that the most horrible outcome was if people stopped trusting mohammedans:

Imam Muhammad Musri, the president of the Islamic Society of Central Florida, urged restraint in the hours and days following the attack in Orlando.

“I want to also caution many of the media from rushing to judgment,” he said. “We are mourning. We are sad. We are heartbroken, and it’s not really time to…rush to judgment.”

Musri, who is also president of American Islam, said he does no know what could be done for what seems like one mass shooting after another.

Meanwhile, Chicago has to take second place in the killing stakes for one week, although there were more shootings in Chicago last week — 150! — the Chi-town ERs have a lot more gunshot trauma experience than Orlando, and it shows.

Chicago doesn’t seem to have a big problem with Mexican cartels or Mohammedan masscres. But it still has a big problem, period. Maybe that proves that we ought not to be importing more waves of criminals and terrorists?

Nah, that’s crazy talk. G4S will keep us feeling safe, and it’s all about the feelz.





If You’re an Idiot, Don’t Go on Radio

If you're a well-meaning troglodyte, please stop helping. Now would be good.

If you’re a well-meaning troglodyte, please stop helping. Now would be good.

Hey, everybody who wants to help out at this time when gun rights are under attack?  Ask yourself, or better yet, ask a close friend who doesn’t care about hurting your feelings, this one question:

Am I an Idiot?

If the answer to the question is 1) “Yes”; 2) delighted laughter; or, 3) An attempt to talk 360º around the question without actually answering it, then

You are an idiot

And from that conclusion should follow this course of action:

Don’t go on radio.

You’ll only make your cause suffer. This idiopiphany came to us whilst taking a vehicle to the dealer for service, and we turned on the radio, to hear a host we normally don’t listen to, one Jeff Kuhner. Kuhner was eagerly interviewing some guy who represented himself as a gun expert, and was going to tell us all about the gun used by the Orlando shooter this weekend. Over the next approximately two minutes we learned:

  1. The AR-15 is gas operated because the gas blows back the slide.
  2. Just the same way a pistol is gas operated like that.
  3. It’s really nothing but a really big pistol.
  4. It can’t be used effectively without training like you get in the Army or Marines or a course you sign up for.
  5. But it’s not really any more dangerous than any other pistol.

There was probably more of that, but that’s all we can remember from the two minutes of this we could stand.

Now, poor Jeff Kuhner appeared to be eating this up, and trying to work it back to some sensibly coherent pro-gun point. As he hails from Canada, where gun knowledge seems to be increasingly narrowly distributed, we can excuse him for not realizing that he was on the receiving end of  a tale full or sound and fury, signifying nothing. For all we know the idiot he was talking to had good intentions, but either did not have two brain cells to rub together, or suddenly lost the synaptic connection between those brain cells when he was told he was live and on the air.

In any event, he ID’d himself as a gun guy, he went on the radio and spouted idiocy for longer than we could bear to listen to him, and gave all listeners who were not gun guys (and not, therefore, cringing through this whole call) the firm impression that gun guys are industrial-strength idiots.

This kind of “help” is not helping.

No doubt, based on our experience with gun guys in public, some other idiots stubbed their short, grubby fingers dialing the show to correct Gas-Operated Slide Idiot on minute and arcane points of firearms terminology, probably introducing new errors, convincing any undecided listeners (and, perhaps, the host) than Gun Guys are indeed industrial-strength idiots.

So we came up with the idea of advising idiots not to go on radio.

And there’s the rub. How futile is that? If they listened to good advice, they wouldn’t be idiots.

DHS Official Ran Interference for Terrorist Suspect — Won’t be Punished


Irene Martin was promoted after obstructing the arrest of one of the San Bernardino terrorist conspirators.

This one gets complicated, so bear with us a minute. It’s a story of dysfunction in Federal immigration policing that stands out even in an era when those are the bulk of any stories one could write about Federal immigration policing.

The federal bureaucrat who blocked armed law enforcement agents from apprehending a man involved in the San Bernardino terror attack last December, then allegedly lied to investigators about her actions, has been reassigned to another post, but likely won’t face further investigation….

It actually appears she’s been promoted. Lord love a duck.

The U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services supervisor who an Inspector General’s report did not name but blasted for keeping Department of Homeland Security agents from Enrique Marquez is Irene Martin, who, according to her account, has been with the agency for at least 16 years, 13 years as a field supervisor.

When the HSI agents came to a scheduled meeting with a criminal immigrant under “Martin’s” supervision — the guy who supplied the guns for the San Bernardino terrorist attack, Enrique Marquez. Marquez and his “wife,” a woman with whom he has not ever lived, were a blatant case of immigration fraud, which Martin seemed determined not to “see”. Rather than assist the agents, Martin ran interference for the terrorist, doing all she could to stall the HSI criminal investigators and help “Marquez” and his “wife” get away.

Marquez and his Russian wife Mariya Chernykh were scheduled for an interview with Martin’s staff on Dec. 3, the day after Marquez’s friend Syed Rizwan Farook and his wife, Tashfeen Malik, killed 14 people at an office Christmas party.

Hey, Vibrancy is Our Diversity™. You Americans reading this, none of you was going to get off your dead ass and shoot those 14 people. It takes a couple of hard-working refugees or immigrants.

After the FBI learned Marquez allegedly supplied the guns, they sent five armed Homeland Security Investigation agents to the USCIS building to detain Marquez.

Martin refused to allow the agents access to Marquez.

Instead, what did she do?

…the report last week faulted her for making agents wait more than 90 minutes before she gave them access to related files on the suspected terrorist, and then she dismissively ordered them to hand copy files, according to the federal report. Agents told building security they intended to arrest Marquez to prevent him from killing anyone, but Martin had them wait 30 minutes just to see her.

She must have had a reason. Mustn’t she?

When questioned by IG investigators later, Martin repeatedly changed her story and also contradicted what other witnesses said.

So now she’s in trouble, right? If you lied about material facts, to Federal 1811 Criminal Investigators in the course of a criminal investigation, you could expect to be indicted, arrested, and see every newspaper in town retype the US Attorney’s press release about you. Your mother would not recognize the desperado in that press release. And that’s even if you just lied. How many successful Obstruction of Justice prosecutions have fact patterns this solid…? Help us out with that, lawyers in Federal criminal practice. Because we’re not lawyers, we might be missing something, but it looks to us like a “disposition case” — a slam-dunk prosecution.

So when will we get the press release on the indictment of Martin?


Jeff Carter, chief of media relations for USCIS, told late Monday that “to his knowledge there is no further investigation into Martin,” and her transfer become acting deputy district director was planned before the audit was released.

You’re right, she was promoted after obstructing a terrorism arrest. Because the promotion was planned already, and the Government never interrupts itself while making a colossal cock-up.

Maybe it wasn’t really that bad, what she did?

“When agents show up to CIS for a criminal investigation, they should never be impeded. That is obstruction of justice,” said Claude Arnold, retired special agent in charge for ICE’s Los Angeles bureau of Homeland Security Investigations.

“When interviewed by OIG, [Irene Martin] denied telling the agents they were not allowed to arrest, detain, or interview anyone in the building,” the report states. “However, her account is contradicted by that of the other HSI agents present.

“She also gave inconsistent answers about when she discovered that the HSI agents were investigating the shootings from the day prior….Either version is contradicted by the building security officer….”

Arnold said the allegations in the Inspector General’s report indicate criminality.

“It is pretty standard across the federal government that if someone engages in criminal misconduct related to their professional duties, it is also a removable offense,” he said.

The report notes Martin had no authority to hold up the agents who were justifiably concerned that Marquez and Chernykh may pose a threat to the occupants and visitors of the USCIS facility. Marquez, who is now in jail and awaiting trial on charges related to supplying the guns as well as marriage fraud, has pleaded not guilty.

OK, now Martin is obviously the worst (and usual) type of Federal bureaucrat: an eighth of a ton of lard, greed and attitude motivated solely by personal gain, self-aggrandizement, and turf protection. But why would she do this?

The lying is probably explained by the fact that she’s probably a Valuable Diversity Bean™ and therefore substantially less bright than the pretty-dim norm for her position and grade (even the old one; imagine what a disaster she’s going to be, promoted). But the underlying action? Why play games and score points, even if you let a participant in a violent crime go?

Because there’s a turf war in progress. This means absolutely nothing to the faceless millions of us who toil in the productive economy, but small indicators of status — like Martin making the HSI gang cool their heels for a half hour while she browsed Facebook or picked her nose — are a big thing to the overpaid, underworked Burke’s Peerage of GS grades. And HSI and CIS don’t get along.

Why don’t HSI and CIS get along? They were once part of the same bureaucracy, but the post 9/11 national security reorg, in which problems caused by too much incompetent bureaucracy and too many incompetent (or corrupt) bureaucrats like Martin were “solved’ by creating lots of new bureaucracies with room for lots more unaccountable bureaucrats. And ICE (HSI) and CIS spun off one another, both under the bloated, mismanaged Department of Homeland Security, and compete for resources. As a result, line employees often try to cooperate but are obstructed (that word again!) by managers at every level — including low-level drones like Irene Martin, who would be a WalMart cashier but for the fact that the government is an equal opportunity employer, not for race, creed or class, but primarily for ability.

Everyone Was Equal for Two Days

rangerette-benjaminBLUF: A new commander decided he was going to really get his MI company out of the rut they were in, and he was going to start with PT’ing them into the dust.

After two runs, female sniveling was approaching breakdown level. He got accused of humiliating his women officers, and fell all over himself in a Cultural Revolution style self-criticism session.

He considers this to have been a valuable leadership lesson, in communications specifically, and  if he can sustain this level of groveling to his subordinates — particularly the distaff ones — he’ll go far in the game of “Army 2.0: My Career is Everything.” Fortunately, he’s branched MI already, so it’s not like he can do much damage to a performing branch of the Army. Let’s pick up Captain Clueless’s story:

As the new commander of a Military Intelligence Company, I determined to change the culture within my organization. In my estimation, the unit needed to shift more to mental and physical toughness, and move on from a year of reset. To do this, I placed a heavy emphasis on soldiering first, and being an Intelligence professional second.

One of the first actions I took to shake things up was a plan to “smoke” the unit during a Company run. I told the Platoon Leaders and Platoon Sergeants that I would be implementing a Physical Training policy for individuals who fell out of any unit run. Those individuals would be put into the remedial PT program until they completed the same echelon run. I instructed the leaders to pass the word and emphasize the impact of falling out of a Battalion or Brigade run.

When the big day finally came, I took the Company down Battalion Avenue for our first run together. We ran the first mile in seven minutes, and then slowed the run down to allow everyone to catch up. As I looked back on the formation I saw the majority of the formation struggling to keep up, but was pleased that everyone was still pushing.

At the conclusion of the run I addressed the Company. I told them how proud I was that no one quit, and re-emphasized my policy on falling out of runs. I spoke of the importance of physical and mental toughness, and challenged the view that MI professionals needed to be technically proficient more than they needed to be physically tough.

At this point I incorrectly assumed that I had successfully set a new standard for the unit, and that I had adequately articulated my intent.

So he did it again. And what happened?

I ended the PT session with the game of ultimate frisbee, with me on the losing team and my Soldiers seemingly in high spirits after the short run and impromptu sports PT session.

snowflake 2I believed all was right with the world, and it was not until I released the Company that I noticed a talented Platoon Leader visibly upset. I asked her if everything was okay, and thankfully she had the courage to answer.

The Platoon Leader asked me if my intent that morning was “to humiliate every female leader in the Company?” I was floored. She then pointed out that every female Officer and NCO in the Company fell back during the run, and according to my stated policy, would now be part of the remedial PT program.

After an explanation and what certainly sounds like some groveling in response to that ancient all-purpose Leatherman of the manipulative woman’s toolkit, to wit, tears, he realized that he couldn’t just do a Personal Presidential Apology Tour for Little Lieutenant You Go Grrl; instead he had to publicly abase himself before all the unit women, validating their belief that they are all Unique and Special Snowflakes®.

So he did.

I explained this to the Platoon Leader, but immediately realized it was not enough. I gathered all the female leaders later that morning and apologized to them for my carelessness and shortsightedness. I followed this up during the closeout formation by clearly explaining my intent and end state to the Company, and formally apologized to those who I had set up for failure by running at that pace.

And, of course, he never did that again. Because more important than challenging the unit to elevate its game and raise its standards, is the Unwritten Army Law that one must never, ever, inconvenience or bother the sacred Feels of Lieutenant You Go Grrl and her entire playset. When it comes down to unit readiness or Unique and Special Snowflake® Self-Esteems™, you know what’s going to win. Every time.

Update: Four Thoughts

First, leadership of MI troops is a particular challenge because they tend to be intelligent, sarcastic, and profoundly narcissistic. Bradley Manning is not as much of an outlier as you might think. Their training, which often reinforces their belief that they are Incredibly Special, only amplifies the narcissism.

But there is a problem of soldier skills and soldier ethos in these isupport units and the underlying problem is unlikely to be solved by the well-meaning but weak officer’s decision to use PT as a threat and a punishment (which is exactly how the prospect of extra PT was perceived by Lieutenant You Go Grrl). No matter where you serve, some of your troops will love PT and do it extensively on their own, and some will hate it and do as little as possible. Even the fitness fanatics may not enjoy running in formation. Generally, that’s only fun for the ego leading the pack, not for the rest of the sled dogs. Threatening your Joes and Janes with more PT if you don’t like their PT performance just moves soldiers from the “enjoys PT” to the “avoids PT” bin.

Third, one is amazed that Captain Clueless here and Lieutenant You Go Grrl and her peers thought that everyone in the unit didn’t know the women couldn’t run a seven minute pace. An eight-minute pace on an it-counts two-minute run gets women within a few points of a max 100 PT score. But it is possible they didn’t know because the pop culture, the academic feminist movement, and careerist Army women officers are all in deep denial about sexual dimorphism in homo sapiens. 

Finally, there are some that insist that standards are not lowered for women. Read this article and the source with a critical eye.

Bubba Mills a Lower

Behold, the mighty power of the drill press and end mill, operated without understanding:

bubba AR lower

If you’re not seeing it, we’re not talking about the toolmarks. Instead, look at the relative thickness of the left and right receiver walls alongside the trigger pocket. Is the trigger opening centered relative to the receiver, or relative to the trigger pocket?

Here’s the original on imgur, with a suitable title. Here’s the thread on Reddit. The guy thinks he didn’t secure the top plate of his jig.

Milled out my first 80% lower the other day and when I got done I noticed my hole is slightly off center. The trigger group fits in it seems to operate fine until I put the selector in. It sits out just enough to hang up. I am planning on filing the groove in the selector switch a bit wider to remedy that problem. My question is does anyone else see any more likely problems I will have after full assembly?

The jig I used had been used to make a few others before so my only two guesses are that either there was some slop in the screw holes for the top plate, or that on one of the previous lowers that the end mill had gotten into the jig and taken some of the material off.

One more game ends with Idiot-Proof Design 0, Idiots 1.

Here’s to never ever making one this bad… and never showing it to anybody if we do!

Note: posting may get light due to a foreign weapons course in a rural area over the weekend. Dunno whether/if we’ll have intertubes.