Category Archives: Lord Love a Duck

In Canada, Somebody Loves Omar Khadr

The jihad-friendly, American-hating head of the fringe Green Party, Elizabeth May, stood up at a political roast… and clearly had been hitting the Judgment Juice® like a lumberjack twice her size. She wrapped up a rambling, incoherent and seemingly-endless speech with a squeee! aimed at her apparent crush, Omar Khadr: “Omar Khadr, you’ve got more class than the whole fucking cabinet!”

It's not so much that the picture's out of focus, she's so drunk that she is blurry.

It’s not so much that the picture’s out of focus, she’s so drunk that she is blurry.

No word on whether she arranged to meet him in the Green Red Room.

elizabeth_may_loves_omar_khadr_2In attempts at damage control on what must have been, for May, a pretty head-sore morning after, she wound up doubling down on Khadr, wishing him luck now that Canada has granted the committed Islamist terrorist, (from a family of committed terrorists, mind), “a second chance.”

A second chance for what? Has she forgotten what he did with his first chance? That’s why civilized nations have prisons, you airhead.

Of course, he can make her happy by killing as many Americans as he (and she) likes. Since we start with 330-something million, we’ll still be bigger than Canada. (Jokes aside, she’s not a power figure in Canadian politics, but a fringe crank, a relative nobody; no more important in her own country than fringe Americans like David Duke or Al Sharpton are here).

The Naked Truth

It looks like a routine domestic if you just snip a bit of the story from Michigan:

The Clare County sheriff’s department says 23-year-old Jessie Schwaub-Devault of Harrison left her husband and child along U.S. 127 about 4:30 a.m. Tuesday.

The department says Schwaub-Devault refused to stop but eventually got out of her SUV and ran before being arrested.

The sheriff’s department says Shwaub-Devault was arraigned Wednesday on charges of drunken driving, fleeing police, indecent exposure and child abuse. It says 32-year-old Joshua Devault was arraigned on indecent exposure and child abuse charges.

But wait, indecent exposure? Yeah. Ms Schwaub-Dewalt was naked during this whole escapade. The presence of Judgment Juice has been confirmed. And what about Mr Dewault? He, too, was wearing nothing but, presumably, a goofy smile. No word on whether the minor Dewault was also de-clothed.

There is a mugshot of Ms Schwaub-Dewalt at the link, in what we presume to be a jail t-shirt. From what we can see, we have no urge to see Ms Schwaub-Dewalt without clothing.

Now, how often does something like this happen? Well, that one was Tuesday, in Michigan. This one was last week, In West Virginia:

Police say they got a 911 call about 1:30 a.m. about a naked woman waking across the Motel 6 parking lot on Goff Mountain Road.

A few moments later, a panic alarm was reported at the One Stop convenience store on the same road.

When the sheriff’s deputy arrived, he found Drema Setliff, 30, in the store.

Police say she had tried to lock the front door and demanded the clerk open the register and take her to the safe. Setliff allegedly grabbed the clerk’s hair and yelled for her to open the safe.

She wasn’t wearing any clothes but was partially covered by a white towel she was holding.

Police say she said, “take me to jail.”

The cops were pleased to do what she asked.

In this case, no word on whether Judgment Juice (or some other Bad Idea Enhancer) played a role. In this case, too, the young lady, 30-year-old Drema Sutliff, has been clothed before being mugshot, and the mugshot hints that she, too, would not be mistaken for an image of Aphrodite if she shed her garments.

Plain fact: most of us are not irresistibly beautiful in our birthday suits. Drunk, or sober.

When Guns are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Have Salt

lacey spearsMeet Lacey Spears. She was a mommy blogger in upscale Westchester County, New York, who obsessively chronicled her only child, son Garnett, on a blog and a bunch of other social media platforms. Garnett, she wrote, couldn’t gain weight… as he struggled with some mysterious illness. He was hospitalized, he endured surgeries… he never seemed to get better; indeed, every time he went home from the hospital, he inexplicably got worse.

When Garnett was finally admitted to hospital at Age 5 on 17 January 2014, he was too sick for Nyack hospital to help him. After they stabilized him, and he was airlifted to Maria Fereri Children’s Hospital on the 19th, the mystery was solved. The poor kid had not been unhealthy at all — until his mother force-fed him massive quantities of salt. He couldn’t eat such staggering quantities of the stuff, so she used a feeding tube to cram it direct into his stomach. By the time he was admitted to the hospital, suffering from seizures caused by a swelling brain, he had permanent and unsurvivable brain damage.

After four more days of suffering, young Garnett expired. (He was declared brain dead on the 22nd — the same day Spears asked a friend to remove incriminating evidence from their home. The friend testified for the prosecution — and passed away the next day after supportive measures were withdrawn). An autopsy showed he had “metabolically impossible” levels of sodium in his system.

Defense attorneys, left with no way to aid their client but the old “pound on the table” strategy, tied for the profession’s all-time low by accusing, without evidence, the doctors at Maria Fereri of killing Garnett, and framing his mother. The jury didn’t buy it, reaching a Murder Two verdict (on “depraved indifference” grounds) in less than two days, after a month of jury selection and trial.

Some will ask, where was Garnett’s father? The child wasn’t the product of parthenogenesis, so what did his dad do to protect him? The answer: all he could, which was nothing. Spears had excluded him from his son’s life, and moved over 1,000 miles away to make that stick.

So that she could poison the child in peace.

The anguished dad did turn up, in the end. In the courtroom, demanding that the judge throw the book at the mother of, and murderer of, his child.

What do you do to a monster like Lacey Spears? If you are a New York judge, you give her 20 years. (Technically, the sentence is 20-years-to-life, but prison guards can’t remember an individual who did even the whole 20, unless he committed more murders while inside).

New York’s leniency extends beyond the nominal sentence. Spears will be eligible for her first parole board in three years, minus time served. She is unlikely to be paroled so soon, but will probably be released at the second (two years later) or third (two years after that, so she’ll do a max of five years, minus time served pre-sentencing, total).

Yes, this means she is unlikely to spend more than five years in jail for cold-bloodedly murdering her five-year-old child. She’ll be out in plenty of time to have (and kill) another kid.

Here is the New York Post on her conviction, and the International Business Times. And here’s the nasty anti-gun Lower Hudson Journal-News on her sentence.

Exit question: you didn’t know that a human could be killed by salt, did you? Like many other substances, the dose makes the poison. Call it proof of the fragility of human life, and of our dependence on our families and others around us for survival. Not that such proof was really wanting.

More on Anti-Gun, Anti-Rights, 1st, 2nd, 4th and 5th-Amendment-hatin’ Dan Conley

Apparently, we’re not the only ones sending the Boston-area DA a message about the Bill of Rights.

Hey, Dan, Gangster Squad was a fictional story. You don't need one of these overlooking every American bedroom -- you just want it.  Perv.

Hey, Dan, Gangster Squad was a fictional story. You don’t need one of these set-ups overlooking every American bedroom — you just want it.
You pervert.

Kate Knibbs at Gizmodo (is she affiliated with EFF? We have a dim memory that she is, and dim memories are often wrong) points out that, while we bashed him for his opposition to the rights enumerated in the 2nd and 4th Amendments to the US Constitution, he’s also feeling constricted and constraied by the 5th Amendment too. But it’s For The Children® (a registered trademark of National Socialists R Us, Inc.):

District Attorney David Conley warned that encryption will enable people taking “upskirt” photos to get away with posting surreptitious crotch shots. In the same testimony, Conley blamed encryption for potentially destroying cases against child abusers and people who pimp out children for sex.

Well, Douchebaggenführer Dave, if you’ve lost all these cases to strong encryption and the 4th and 5th Amendment, name one. If some perp walked because you hung your case on evidence you couldn’t get, name him. If you had a stone cold baby beatin’ puppy rapist (or puppy beatin’ baby rapist) that a Court of Appeals turned loose, give us the cite. 

You can’t, though, can you? Because you pulled it all out of your swastika-tattooed fourth point of contact.

Just like you can’t give us the cite where somebody capped one of your Bostonians with a gun the perp legally owned. 99 times out of 100, by the time a gangbanger kills somebody, he’s been to court so many times that even Daniel F. Conley could have convicted him once or twice, even with all those pesky Amendments hemming him in.

What’s this guy going to want to do next, quarter SWAT redcoats in our homes?

By the way, Knibbs notes that Rep Ted Lieu (D-CA) wasn’t alone. Jason Chaffetz (R-UT) also teed off on the tap-happy Conley.

If a head rolls in the Pentagon on a Friday…

…does anyone hear the sound? Beltway PR specialists think not. But the ears of are ever open.

Mike Vickers official shotMike Vickers is out as Undersecretary of Defense for Intelligence (USD-I) in the DOD and Director of Defense Intelligence (DDI) in the DNI. We have our differences with Vickers, a fellow Green Beret, but DOD and DNI could do worse in these two critical positions… and almost certainly will. We shudder to think who Ash Carter will pick for the role. A players hire A players. B players hire C players. Carter? Hires first-day culls who condemn the game as cisgendered heteronormative cryptofascism.

Vickers was one of three Bush-era appointees that then-SECDEF Robert M. Gates asked to stay when Gates was retained by President Obama in view of the very weak defense bench in the President’s own party. Vickers was then Assistant Secretary of Defense of Low-Intensity Combat (etc). Obama appointed him to the USD-I position when he promoted Vickers’s predecessor Jim Clapper to Director of National Intelligence. That makes Vickers a rare character, Presidentially appointed to political-appointee jobs by Presidents of two different parties, and vastly different national security viewpoints. (A cynic might say that this shows the unprincipled flexibility of the Beltway insider).

Vickers presided over an unbroken chain of intelligence failures that caught the DOD and the National Command Authority flatfooted, in the finest traditions of American military intelligence. His most publicized failure was probably his meeting with and leaking to the producers and director of the Hollywood campaign film Zero Dark Thirty, in a Presidentially-directed leak of classified information to the filmmakers. But his biggest failure was certainly his insistence on victim disarmament in US military facilities, an insistence that contributed directly to the murder tally of jihadist doctor Major Nidal Hasan (as the link recounts, Vickers doubled down on victim disarmament after Fort Hood. Way not to learn a lesson). If you’re more curious about him, here’s the DOD release. And his Official Bio. Funny, these official hagiographies don’t mention the details we do here at

(Because someone will ask, no, Mike is not closely related to Larry A. Vickers, former Delta assaulter and current first-class firearms trainer, as far as we know).


Some Rangerette Myths

There is a barrage of propaganda coming out of the Ranger School. There could be nothing but, with every one of the surviving female students — eight at the end of the first week — shadowed by a Corps of Commissars who broadly (no pun intended) outnumber the female Ranger candidates1, and a media scrum that nearly outnumbers all the Ranger candidates.

Rangerette 5

There have been some myths spread about this class. In the interests of further factual information, here’s some debunkistry.

Myth: women are doing better than men, percentage-wise, in this class.

Fact: They’re not, even when you don’t account for the fact that some of the 8 survivors are being propped up. Remember that these women are the distillation of a pipeline of over 130 candidates, who got extra training no active-duty men can even apply for.

Myth: the Army has made no concessions to the women.

Fact: the concessions are many, ranging from the trivial (women’s hair is cut short, but not shaved like the men) to the serious (women are given extra chances and talked out of quitting; minor negative spot reports aren’t allowed to build up against them).

Rangerette 4

Myth: the women are a cross-section of Army women.

Fact: the women are a small, self-selected cadre of ambitious careerists. It is our understanding that all are officers.

Rangerette 1

Myth: As women increase their presence in combat units, they’ll be more likely to be raped. Because men in combat arms are “predators.” This is what Defense Secretary Ash Carter told an audience of ROTC cadets recently:

Obviously, as we get women into more unaccustomed positions, maybe dangerous isolated positions, maybe positions where they are fewer in relation to the number of men, it opens up opportunities for predators

Fact: You’re joking, right? Ash Carter makes Joe Biden look like the Great Gravitas Himself. He has no military experience whatsoever, and if he ever came out of the ivory tower, when he saw his own shadow we’d have six more weeks of winter. It’s not surprising he says stupid [stuff]. He didn’t stop there, either. He also hinted to the cadets that he intends to open all positions to women when the review is complete in 2016.

Meanwhile, Carter has quietly withdrawn 1,900 soldiers, 38 Black Hawk slicks, 12 medevac Black Hawks, as 12 heavy-lift Chinooks and 28 Apache attack helicopters from Europe to the United States as part of his unilateral drawdown of US forces worldwide. Instead, smaller elements will deploy for a few months at a time. A DOD spokesman insisted that less was more:

The net result of this restructuring is that Army aviation assets in Europe will be more ready, present, and operationally flexible. This is particularly important in the current strategic environment.

Our forces in Europe will be more ready, present, and flexible, hooah! They just won’t be in Europe!

In other news from the DOD, War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, and We Have Always Been at War with Eastasia.

If Ash Carter diminishes American air capability in Europe any further, he can expect Hermann Göring’s ghostly shade to manifest itself, and bestow on him the German Cross in Gold, the Knight’s Cross with Oak Leaves, Swords and Diamonds, or some other high decoration.

These guys seem like harmless, amusing buffoons, until you realize that some one has plucked them out of their cozy libraries and put them in charge of complex systems they don’t understand.


  1. There are 31 female Commissars, or as they are officially called, Observer/Advisors. The course began with 19 women. Currently, there are roughly 4 OAs watching out for each woman. The number will rise as the women attrit further.

Brady Lawsuit Lotto Promised Millions, Delivered Ruin has the story of how the gun-ban Brady Campaign’s plan to use the parents of a victim of the Aurora, CO shooting as the hook to hang an anti-gun lawsuit on backfired. Badly.

The parents may have expected to win big and collect a large sum; instead, the ill-prepared lawsuit went down in flames, as had several similar lawsuits before it. The suit was booted on a Motion to Dismiss, although not before it cost the defendants hundreds of thousands in legal fees.

Now those costs are on the plaintiffs’ heads. Like a firearm, a lawsuit is something you should only pull the trigger on when you know you’re in the right.

A federal judge ordered the parents of a Aurora, Colorado, theater shooting victim to pay court costs and attorney fees as a result of a lawsuit filed last year, and the defendants in the case say the family owes around a quarter of a million dollars.

According to court documents filed April 10, in a combined sum, Lucky Gunner and Sportsman Guide paid roughly $224,600 to fight allegations that they failed to properly vet the gunman who used their products to kill 12 people and injure 70 others during a screening of The Dark Knight Rises in July 2012., more commonly known as Lucky Gunner, requested $151,574.70 in attorney and travel fees. And Sportsman Guide requested $73,037.87 on similar expenses.

Brian Platt, owner of BTP Arms, an online retailer that sold the gunman tear gas, has also requested $23,714.99 for attorney fees and $33,569.89 in relief.

Not to question a reporter’s numeracy — we’re assuming lifted these numbers from the mainstream media — but the numbers don’t add up to 224k. We’re getting $281,897.45. ( caught this, using a rounded version of the higher number in their headline). And that’s not a comprehensive amount.

The other defendant named in the suit, Gold Strike E Commerce LLC, an online retailer that sells body armor, has yet to file a motion.

via Aurora theater victim’s family may pay $280,000 in Lucky Gunner lawsuit.

If you read the legal documents, Gold Strike appears to have taken an ostrich’s approach to the whole suit, disappearing and failing to respond to the court. (This is a very unwise, but surprisingly common, legal strategy).

Of course, the judge is not bound to give the defendants all the fees and expenses they file for, but his order when he dismissed the suit in March indicates a complete fail on the part of plaintiff’s attorneys. also had the judge’s order and an article then.

[T]he alleged chain of causation between Defendants [the online ammo sellers –Ed.]  and Holmes’s acts is too attenuated to impose liability. There can be no question that Holmes’s deliberate, premeditated criminal acts were the predominant cause of plaintiffs’ daughter’s death. Holmes meticulously prepared for his crime, arriving at the theater equipped with multiple firearms, ammunition, and other gear allegedly purchased from several distinct business entities operating both online and through brick and mortar locations. Neither the web nor the face-to-face sales of ammunition and other products to Holmes can plausibly constitute a substantial factor causing the deaths and injuries in this theater shooting.

We are not lawyers here, but we are conscious of an old aphorism of the profession, that says, “When the facts are on your side, pound on the facts. When the law is on your side, pound on the law. When neither is on your side, pound on the table.” The Bradys’ legal strategy seems to have been to pound on the table, but that is more likely to work with a jury than a judge, and to get to the jury the would-be table-pounder has to get by the motions stage in front of the judge. This crew didn’t.

As the judge pointed out in his order, the plaintiffs were looking to get him to legislate from the bench, reversing the plain meaning of both US and Colorado black-letter law. He declined to do so:

The stated purpose of this civil action is to obtain a court order enjoining the defendants from conducting their online sales … until and unless they accept changes prescribed by this court. To grant such relief this court must conduct hearings and make policy decisions that are within the authority of the political branches of government responsive to the people under our constitutional structure of representative government. The defendants’ motions to dismiss must be granted because this court does not have the authority to grant the relief requested.

The Brady attorneys were in it for anti-gun activism, and probably, a piece of the action. But they, personally, are not out a dime; no doubt, they’re on the hunt for another plausible plaintiff, to be used until used up and left a hollow, indebted shell.

To the bereaved parents in this case: here at, we’re sorry that an insane monster cruelly murdered your daughter, and we sympathize with your grief. We further regret that the experience has turned you towards totalitarian solutions. But we don’t regret for a minute that becoming a totalitarian has been costly to you.

As the Vietnam generation says, sorry ’bout that.

“Battlefield Recovery” Arms Baltimore Rioters

When they’re not cutting fire hoses, burning out cop cars, or beating the snot out of cops, reporters, or just plain bystanders, the Baltimore rioters are looting businesses — and looting firearms from the police cars they set afire.

99.1 WNEW reporter Steve Dorsey was attacked by one person while covering the riots near the CVS. “I was just about to do a live shot on the phone when out of no where a protester came up in front of me, shouted something at me, hit me in the face. I fell down and my phone dropped out of my hand and at that point he was going to kick me while I was laying down on the asphalt, and a few other protesters intervened and they pushed that guy back and I was able to escape with the help, limping, with some other protesters,” he told WJZ’s Mary Bubala.

Well, there’s another newsman confident that the magic of press membership would protect him. Hard to say if he’s going to be over that now.

Dorsey said he witnessed “nothing but chaos” as he covered the riots.
“I actually saw a fire truck pull up to the scene, stay about two minutes — there were only two firefighters on board — and just left. There was really nothing they could do in an uncontrolled chaotic scene like that. Also the back of a police van was completely wide open. A witness told me he actually saw someone steal a shotgun out of the van and leave with it,” he added.

via CHAOS: 15 Officers Injured, Businesses Looted, Fires Set As Violent Riots Plague Baltimore « CBS Baltimore.

The city schools and the Anne Arundel County schools have taken two different approaches to the riots. The city schools’ long, rambling and intermittently-coherent statement suggests, amid gigantic methane bubbles of educrat speak, that they’re going to double down on the social-justice grievance-building that has produced the entitled-feeling rioters:

We are also communicating with each one of our school leaders around effective instructional strategies to heighten student awareness and understanding of social justice issues. We are deeply concerned about our students and community, and we hope to treat this situation not only as a teachable moment but also a time for thoughtful reflection on how we can reduce conflict and violence in our society.

In Anne Arundel, they’re concerned about their students, too, but in a slightly more practical way:

Anne Arundel County schools have canceled all field trips into Baltimore City through May 3.

Why stop at May 3? The people of Baltimore clearly don’t want to be part of the modern world. Why not just wall them off, like Fortunato in The Cask of Amontillado? 

Perhaps this policy of immurement is already in place. Police have listed a number of recommended no-go zones, and the city’s subway trains are not going to serve five stops in the riot area.

They’ll Sell Everything But the Whinny

Inserting spices?

Inserting spices?

There’s horse meat, which some Europeans apparently like. But the EU being the EU, there are regulations about these things, which creates, to the shock of Eurocrats but the understanding nods of economists everywhere, a black market in horseflesh — the sort that comes shrink-wrapped in a market, rather than on the hoof in a racing stable.

The US has run hot and cold on whether we’ll allow our unwanted old Dobbins to be slaughtered for the tables of Euro sophisticates, rather than the more usual rendering into wood glue and gelatin. So there’s unmet demand, and when unmet demand meets regulation-constrained supply, smuggling and counterfeiting inevitably surface.

European authorities say police in several countries have detained 26 people in a crackdown on an organized crime network accused of trading in illegal horse meat.

Eurojust, the EU agency for judicial cooperation, said in a statement late Friday that the network falsified documents and sold meat from horses unfit for human consumption. The meat then made its way into the “legal food chain,” unbeknownst to consumers.

One may wonder what distinguishes horses “unfit for human consumption” from their equine brethren who have that imprimatur. The article is unclear.

The operation involved authorities in France, Belgium, Britain, Germany, Ireland, Luxembourg and the Netherlands. The statement said the main suspect is a Belgian, but did not provide the nationalities of those arrested.

So it took seven nations’ cops to arrest a couple dozen horsemeat scofflaws — an average of three point something each.

European health authorities have been on alert for horse meat crime since 2013, when they discovered that it was being secretly sold as beef in some prepared foods around Europe.

via News from The Associated Press.

How could they sell it as beef? Isn’t everything we don’t usually eat supposed to taste like chicken? (J/k. Horsemeat does taste like beef, and makes decent burgers. For a time in the late 80s it was sold in the US commissaries in Europe because the junior enlisteds couldn’t afford beef, at least not with all the AAFES/Exchange/Commissary kickbacks and graft factored in).

Where Do TSA Mongs Come From?

Well, we know the figurative answers. The bottom of the barrel. The far-left tail of the bell curve. The short school bus. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, as the King of Siam might say. After all, no one good, decent, honest, competent, moral or ethical has ever been employed by TSA in any capacity whatsoever. But where do they really come from?

This is no $#!+: Pizza Boxes.

TSA-PizzaAll the pizza you can eat. Not to mention all the people of the opposite sex that you can grope. (Or the same sex; nobody ever said TSA was judgmental, after all).

Yeah, we’ve been critical of the TSA before. We’ve been known to tell you guys that no one good, decent, honest, competent, moral or ethical has ever been employed by TSA in any capacity whatsoever. But it’s TSA itself that knocks itself out proving this.

Every once in a while someone comes up in the comments with a reference to the Air Marshals (you mean the guys that did this? No one good, decent, etc.) or the exception-proves-the-rule, “My cousin/girlfriend/Downs-syndrome kid works at TSA and he or she is not like all the others.”

Pizza boxes, people. They’re recruited by pizza boxes.

Hat tip, the incomparable Ken @ Popehat (does that make this a popehattip?)