In basic training, we sat through our first EO Lecture® and quickly were mystified. The presenter, a guy with an Afro and Fu well beyond regulation (hey, it was the seventies) and delivered the lecture in an urban patois that would later become known as, “Ebonics.” He told us that everything about white people and black people was different, everything, even their handshakes, and he demonstrated a 30-movement, intensively-choreographed handshake he called a “dap.” It was the duty of all white people to cut all black people slack in everything, because we couldn’t hope to understand each other, even the handshakes.
The white guys looked at the black guys, and the black guys at the white guys. (In those days, we had only a few Hispanic guys, all recent immigrants who couldn’t understand the lecture anyway (¡no habla!) and used the time to try to catch up on their sleep). We looked at each other and thought, whaaa?
“You guys shake hands like that? How come we never see it, is it like a secret handshake?”
Our buddy Phil shook his head. “Man, I’ve never heard of this stupid $#!+. We shake hands like everybody else, for %_@&!’s sake!” Phil, by the way, spoke English like the rest of us.
That was our introduction to a particular species of Army assclown, the Equal Opportunity NCO.
The EO NCO was always a black guy, and in our memory, he was always a fat, stupid, truculent black guy who had landed in EO after failing spectacularly at something substantive. No EO NCO, never one in memory, made even a micrometer-measurable contribution to mission. No, he sat and festered all year until his one annual opportunity to do The EO Lecture® to a room of soporified captives as part of “annual check-the-box training,” the place where units dispose with dispatch (and, usually, contempt) of whatever dumb initiatives someone in the E Ring has demanded deserve a training class. The EO Lecture® changed a good bit over the years, as it was driven by fad-focused academic “grievance studies” goons, but the basic ingredients were, and are, these:
- The Army used to be way, wicked racist. (There are many examples to cite here; so far, so true).
- The Army got over it, but some people and some parts of society still are.
- Different races may have different cultural experiences
- So don’t be shocked if someone who doesn’t look like you doesn’t act like you.
- But this is the Army, and we treat everybody the same.
- Maybe you’re a racist, and the Army can’t control what’s in your mind…
- But it can damn well control what comes out of your mouth, and racist expressions and actions will not be tolerated.
This has leaked into the other services, too. Here a USAF EO NCO delivers The Lecture to a room full of
eager students poor bastards needing a block checked.
(On #5, One is reminded of USAF General Chappie James’s famous quip that the Marines had no race issues because they treat everybody like black people).
The Army has, like all services do these days, a massive EO/Diversity bureaucracy comprising a large number of officers and NCOs, mostly racial minorities (an unstated requirement for the MOS was, from its creation in the hippy-dippy seventies through the nineties if not to today, that the individual be black), and mostly men who had failed at other specialities for lack of intellect, effort, or moral fibre.
Naturally the Pentagon provides swarms of Good Jobs At Good Wages™ for diversity bureaucrats at all levels to SES, throughout the services. In a strange funhouse reflection of Jim Crow, most of these GS-15s and SESes have no qualifications for their phony baloney jobs except for skin color. Some are graduates of the content-lite racialist Grievance Studies programs whose instructors allow universities to make their “diversity” skin-shade quotas, without bringing substandard teachers and researchers into traditional departments. In Diversity World, scholarship’s requirements are few and inconsequential. Even English orthography is excluded from their topsy-turvy world: to expect correct spelling and grammar is a form of oppression, you see. You raaaaacist!
As you might expect for people whose livelihoods are conditioned on finding racism everywhere, they look at everything through a racialist lens, and are simply a photographic negative of Bull Connor or Lester Maddox. Not surprisingly, if your world is one of all-race-all-the-time, your keenly tuned nose smells traces of latent racism everywhere. If black troops and white troops in a unit form friendships across races, perhaps based on assignment, with, say, a tank crew going pub-crawling together despite being four guys of three different races — there’s two ways they can explain that. (1) The black guys are Uncle Toms (incidentally, you will interrogate a thousand EO NCOs before you find one who has read even the Cliff Notes of Uncle Tom’s Cabin, or know that it was written by a white abolitionist); (2) The white guys are oppressors dividing and conquering the black guys, and preventing them from free association. The idea that a TC, driver, loader and gunner might actually become friends despite widely disparate backgrounds is utterly foreign to EO World. “But… they’re not the same color!”
But that’s not even enough, now that we have tens of thousands of useless people whose job is to conduct Reconstruction, as if that had not been done, already, historically speaking; and who work most often at cross-purposes to institutional goals of unity and solidarity in the ranks. No, in recent years the DOD budget has become a Christmas Tree of handouts to professional Diversity Firms, the noxious product of all those university racialist Grievance Studies departments. So it’s bad enough that your unit must bear the dead weight of an EO NCO who is, most often, a complete waste of skin. But now he doesn’t even have to do his single actual duty, his annual Don’t Be A Racist In My Army brief, because it’s been outsourced to some gang of racial grievance entrepreneurs who are connected to Administration figures. So now, some fat chick from White Guilt Industries® comes in and reads the slides, and gets $20k for the day she goes around from unit to unit telling all the races they should be at loggerheads.
But, remember, if these people were good at anything, they wouldn’t be dong this. So even a simple task like 45 minutes of Death By Powerpoint™, where they already made the Powerpoint deck for you, gets bungled. Which is how we got to the point where the racist EO reps of the 35th Signal Brigade and their contractors wound up presenting a slide show that was, instead, about White Privilege and how evil whites are. And you see, they explained, when you think you (or any white guy, if you’re not white) are not racist, that’s when you’re most racist of all.
So take that, all you raaaaacists out there.
The Army EO Program has decided that they will respond to this. How so? Everyone gets to experience more EO Lectures, and the EO NCOs will get more training on how to teach White Privilege to auditoriums full of privileged PFCs. (Didn’t feel privileged when you were a PFC? That’s the “Luxury of Obliviousness,” Jeff Davis). Firing the racist presenter? Oh, no. That might start a deluge.
And where would such a person find work?