Category Archives: Lord Love a Duck

Accountability, Boston Style: Rob a bank, get a raise.

IFThe payroll patriots and jumped-up welfare leeches that populate government agencies know one thing: they’re untouchable. So far, the worst thing that’s happened to Boston Inspectional Services Department’s Susan Coppinger after being caught for two bank robberies? She’s been given extra, non-chargeable vacation till it all blows over.

And, oh yeah, promoted. And given a $10k raise! The Boston Herald reported:

A clerk in Boston’s Inspectional Services Department is accused of moonlighting as a bank robber — allegedly twice hitting up the same Quincy branch with notes pleading: “I am desperate” — and yet was promoted to code enforcer after being charged, the Herald has learned.

Susan M. Coppinger, 47, of Dorchester, whose photo has appeared on the law enforcement website Mass Most Wanted since her first alleged bank heist on Nov. 16, remains free on $1,000 bail following her December arrest and March 12 probable cause hearing on two counts of unarmed robbery and one count of larceny.

Coppinger, who was hired by the city as a $29,273-a-year typist at ISD about a year ago, was nabbed by Quincy cops on Dec. 13 when eyewitnesses chased her down after she allegedly slipped a note to a Santander Bank teller demanding money and fled with $720 cash, according to a police report.

Quincy police three days later linked her to a Nov. 16 robbery of the same Beale Street bank in which she allegedly made off with $1,420, court records show.

Coppinger, who was hired under the Menino administration, was promoted to code enforcer Jan. 11 — five days after Mayor Martin J. Walsh took office — with a salary of $38,881, according to the city. Code enforcement is responsible for writing summonses for trash, snow removal and other sanitary and street violations.

If you want all the usual “she’s a good person, but” excuses, do ho there and Read the Whole Thing™.

We despair at the idea of simple accountability rearing its ugly head in any government agency, let alone one deep in the gulags of the People’s Republic of Massachusetts. But really, what kind of message does this send?

If nothing else, what’s she going to do next time she thinks she deserves a raise? An axe murder? (After all, Boston is a Gun Free Zone, which is why there are no bank robberies… oh, wait).

She’s even gotten a sweetheart deal on her charges: even before they’re dismissed, downgraded, or simply broomed. Even though she implied she was armed in her notes threatening bank tellers, she’s charged with unarmed robbery because without a gun, she was only bluffing.

In related news from the People’s Republic:

  • State Rep. Bank of America VP. Meth Dealer. All in one versatile, multi-purpose jitbag. Despite the damage the guy did to the reputation of meth dealers everywhere, the “State Rep” bit was good for limiting his sentence to a 3-year minimum. A deal you wouldn’t get without the state rep thing.
  • If it has value, crooks will steal it. As an innovative crook did with bus and subway passes. Have you ever noticed how pols that are short on punishing crime are usually way long on public transport?

Are your hands and feet “registered as deadly weapons?”

Guam is a strange place. A few years ago, a Congressman was concerned that if more Marines were posted to the island, it might capsize — which says more about the intellects in Congress than it does about the island, we reckon.

This certificate is phony… and it's $140 more than Guam's.

This certificate is phony… and it’s $140 more than Guam’s.

But law professor Eugene Volokh has found a place where the old urban myth about “hands and feet registered as deadly weapons” is actually true: the US Territory of Guam. He quotes the statutes (law profs are always doing that!):

Any person who is an expert in the art of karate or judo, or any similar physical ar[t] in which the hands and feet are used as deadly weapons, is required to register with the Department of Revenue and Taxation.

A karate or judo expert required to register by the provisions of this Chapter shall be a person trained in the arts of karate, judo or other hand-to-hand fighting technique, whereby the hands, feet or other parts of the body are used as weapons, who shall have completed at least one level of training therein and shall have been issued a belt or other symbol showing proficiency in such art.

via ‘These hands and feet are registered as deadly weapons … in Guam!’.

Then, if you whale the whey out of some islander with your kung-fu, hai-ku or what have you, you can be charged with aggravated assault. He didn’t mention a penalty for not registering, although the actual statute says failing to register is a misdemeanor. It’s hard to imagine Guamanian cops going from door to door seeking incriminating black belts.

But it is a reminder that the ultimate weapon is a trained human mind, the weaponized Brain Housing Group that’s the key to employment of all weapons, including the weapons God gave you.

Volokh has some fun with the idea that Guam could make some serious money selling registration certificates to off-island karatekas. It’s not like people aren’t already doing that with utterly meaningless certificates. By all means Read The Whole Thing™.

Hey, we know ching-chang-bang. Does that count?

Bradley Manning is Appealing

Bradley Manning Support NetworkNo, not as a guy dressed in drag. (The mistaken pronouns in the excerpt from Politico hack Tal Kopan below have been corrected; as long as he’s got a Y Chromosome, let along male reproductive tackle, he’s a guy, and Leavenworth isn’t going to schedule his whackadickoffomy any time soon). He’s appealing his conviction, because he’s all confused and suchlike.

Other than that, he’s enjoying life in prison. Some places, a guy who wants to be a girl is guaranteed a certain popularity.

The inept Kopan, who seems not to have registered the outcome of the trial and the terms of Manning’s sentence, also refers to the prisoner as PFC Manning, although he, she or it (Kopan, whose sex we don’t know) gets his, her or its (Manning’s, whose sex we know but Manning doesn’t) abbreviation as well as rank wrong. For you see, Manning is not a PFC, having been reduced to the lowest enlisted grade as a result of his court-martial conviction and sentence. This is an important distinction, for a Private First Class (Lance Corporal to you Marines) is a private who has served sufficiently honorably to be advanced a couple of times. Still a pawn, perhaps, but a pawn at K4 now. And that is not Manning, who once made the exalted grade of Specialist 4th Class (Sp/4; the grade is an artifact of the 1960s and there is no other class of specialist) before persistent and durative misconduct plucked his small achievements away and landed him where he belongs, in prison, penniless except for the donations of useful idiots.

"Position of humility, march!"

“Position of humility, march!”

Writing a message to supporters from prison, Pfc. [sic] Bradley Manning announced a new team of lawyers for his appeals process, saying they are prepared to take his case to the Supreme Court if necessary.

The email, dated March 17 and distributed by the Pvt. Manning Support Network, includes a number of fundraising appeals alongside the personal message signed by Bradley Manning.

Manning said he has hired Nancy Hollander and Vincent Ward of the law firm Freedman Boyd Hollander Goldberg Urias & Ward of Albuquerque, N.M., in preparation for an appeals process, with help from the Courage to Resist and the Bradley Manning Support Network.

“I’ve spoken a few times with both Ms. Hollander and Mr. Ward over the phone and I met them in person last month. I feel they are a perfect fit for doing this case, and we’re all excited about working together,” Manning wrote. “Both Ms. Hollander and Mr. Ward have achieved successes in complex, high profile, civil and criminal cases in the past, fighting to protect the U.S. Constitution, civil liberties, and social justice through work on Guantanamo, the Gulf Coast Oil Spill, and more. They are eager to represent me before the military court, federal court, and perhaps even the Supreme Court.”

Sure, because freedom for traitors is an important part of social justice. And lawyers are just selfless, noble social justicitians, not parasitical termites gnawing at the very joists and uprights of society, right?

Is there anybody who does not hear “social justice” and reach for a revolver? Well, us, but that’s just because we have an AR-10 handy.

Manning also thanked supporters for their attention and fundraising efforts, updating them on his life behind bars. The Army private, who was sentenced to 35 years in prison by a military judge last summer for leaking thousands of pages of government documents to WikiLeaks, said the he is spending most of his time exercising and doing legal research.

via Under the Radar Blog: Josh Gerstein on the Courts, Transparency, & More – POLITICO.com.

So in 34 years or so we can expect a bulked-up and haggard middle-aged Manning to emerge from the pokey, in pink makeup, a little black dress, and stiletto heels. Still with outie rather than innie genitals and that intractable Y Chromosome, although, who knows what’ll be medically possible by 2048? And his prison pen pals will be waiting for him, probably in an old Chrysler.

And in the meantime, hippies, dopers, no-hopers and the sexually confounded can sink their disposable funds into his legal assistance fund, thereby squandering money they might actually have done some ill with. So there’s a silver lining in the cloud, just not for Bradley.

Sorry about that.

Gun-banning, murderer-releasing pol charged with gun trafficking

01senator-leland-yee.preview

He isn’t smiling now, even though he got a bail deal that an ordinary citizen would never see.

Gun trafficking, and corruption. You couldn’t make this stuff up.

[California State Senator Leland] Yee was shackled at the ankles when he appeared in court Wednesday afternoon with 19 other defendants. His demeanor was downcast, and he looked nervously into the packed gallery.

Awwww. Sucks to be him, right?

Yee was charged with six counts of depriving the public of honest services and one count of conspiracy to traffic in guns without a license. If convicted on all the counts, he faces up to 125 years in prison.

The gun charges alone are good for 20 years — longer than Yee believes murderers should do. (We’re seeing a glimmer of rationality in his inmate advocady over the years). The trafficking charges involve guns, yes, but Yee was ready to deal in heavier stuff:

Investigators said Yee discussed helping the agent get weapons worth $500,000 to $2.5 million, including shoulder-fired missiles, and explained the entire process of acquiring them from a Muslim separatist group in the Philippines to bringing them to the U.S., according to an affidavit by FBI agent Emmanuel V. Pascua.

The conspiracy is larger and deeper than that, too.  

According to court documents, Yee performed “official acts” in exchange for donations from undercover FBI agents, as he sought to dig himself out of a $70,000 debt incurred during a failed San Francisco mayoral bid in 2011.

Yee is also accused of accepting $10,000 in January 2013 from an undercover FBI agent in exchange for making a call to the California Department of Public Health in support of a contract it was considering.

The agent who discussed arms with Yee presented himself as a member of Ghee Kung Tong, a fraternal organization in San Francisco’s Chinatown that Chow headed. It was among the sites searched Wednesday.

Firefighters were seen going inside with a circular saw and later said they had cracked a safe. FBI agents exited with boxes and trash bags full of evidence that they loaded into an SUV.

Chow is accused of money laundering, conspiracy to receive and transport stolen property, and conspiracy to traffic contraband cigarettes.

He was denied bail because he was deemed a flight risk and a danger to the public. The Department of Homeland Security has been trying to deport Chow, who is not a U.S. citizen, since he was released from prison in 2005.

Yee is the third Democratic state senator in California to face criminal charges this year. Sen. Rod Wright was convicted of perjury and voter fraud for lying about his legal residence in Los Angeles County, and Sen. Ron Calderon has been indicted on federal corruption charges. Wright and Calderon are taking a voluntary leave of absence, with pay, although Republicans have called for them to be suspended or expelled.

Yee, 65, represents western San Francisco and much of San Mateo County. He is best known for his efforts to strengthen open records, government transparency and whistleblower protection laws, including legislation to close a loophole in state public records laws after the CSU Stanislaus Foundation refused to release its $75,000 speaking contract with former vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin in 2010.

via California lawmaker faces gun, corruption charges – Washington Times.

The last graf we quoted is nonsense: what Yee is known for is anti-gun extremism, and anti-incarceration activism, whose Senate Bill 9 two years ago shortened the de facto sentence for many of the Golden State’s murderers to 15 years.

Yee got a deal you wouldn’t get, a sweetheart deal from his fellow California state workers, the judges: he’s out on bail. We leave the methods an obscure low-level politician, of demonstrated low integrity, used to secure the half-million for the bail as an exercise for the reader.

Another Yee associate didn’t make bail, as he was also involved in a murder-for-hire scheme.

Bullet Button for AR. This thing disables the mag release, but the inner button (which can be operated with a tool, not by hand) works.

Bullet Button for AR. This thing disables the mag release, but the inner button (which can be operated with a tool, not by hand) works. Yee wanted to ban even ARs so bowdlerized, possibly because of the threat they pose to his fellow criminals.

Yee was in the news in 2012 for an extremist gun control proposal, SB 249. In California, “assault weapons” are already banned, but by replacing a magazine release with a release that requires a tool or the nose of a cartridge to function (a type of release often called a “bullet button” after one of the trade names of such CA-specific gadgets), Golden State inmates can build and own ARs and AKs. This infuriated Yee, who said at the time, “[I]t is a fact that such weapons are more likely to be used to kill an innocent person than used in self-defense. …[T]hese types of gun control laws are effective in preventing gun-related homicides.” Yee ally Darrel Steinberg, who hasn’t yet been indicted in this latest gun-smuggling and corruption scheme, joined him in supporting the bill, saying that “having multiple clips and semi-automatic weapons that can shoot 100 or more bullets” is “a joke,” “ridiculous,” and unnecessary. (Steinberg is crawfishing away from Yee as fast as he can, now). At the time, the Huffington Post said that opposing Yee’s bill was racism, because Yee, who has condemned American gun laws and praises those of “other nations with strict gun access,” presumably including his birthplace, Red China, is asian-American. S. 249 was, in essence, a ban on semi-auto guns with fixed, nondetachable magazines. (It died in committee, even in California, and then was resurrected as a part of a comprehensive gun ban bill that the governor vetoed).

Even the usually somnolent mainstream media noted Yee’s hypocrisy here. A few examples:

  • LA Times: Sen. Yee’s gun control persona clashes with picture in FBI affidavit. A few gems in here. “In 2006, Yee was named to the Gun Violence Prevention Honor Roll by the Brady Campaign.” Compare, from Yee’s bagman Jackson: “Yee fully understood the check being provided to Sen. Yee’s campaign was solely for the purpose of getting an introduction to the arms dealer.”
  • The Sacramento Bee: FBI: California Sen. Leland Yee took bribes, trafficked guns. The Bee actually holds Yee’s party affiliation (the same as the Bee reporters’, naturally) for the third paragraph. The pro-Yee reporters manage to bury his gun control activism much deeper: 13 paragraphs down. That’s doin’ a brother a solid, eh? It’s only in the 17th paragraph, about 15 grafs further than most newspaper readers go, that they submit to the irony with: “The same year the undercover agent got Yee to facilitate the illegal gun transaction, the senator carried a pair of gun control bills.”
  • San Jose Mercury News: State Sen. Leland Yee indicted on arms trafficking, corruption charges (not linked due to presence of Undertone malware). This story noted that among the arms Yee said he could provide from Phillipines-based Chinese arms dealer Wilson Lim were M16 rifles. They did mention him being part of the Senate’s Democratic establishment in the first graf, though.
  • ABC News: California State Sen. Leland Yee Indicted on Weapons Charges, Was Gun Control Crusader. Well, he still is a gun-control crusader; reports indicate he’s refused to resign his seat, or suspend his campaign for statewide office. ABC quotes Alan Gottlieb of the CCRKBA:”If these allegations are true, Sen. Yee is easily the biggest hypocrite on gun control to walk the halls of the capitol in Sacramento, if not the entire United States.”  Actually, he’s pretty typical.
  • Forbes: California Democrat And Gun Control Advocate Charged With Arms Trafficking. This story also notes that Yee wasn’t just opposed to the 2nd Amendment, but also the 1st — he fought for a ban on violent video games. And “Yee and Jackson were involved in the trafficking conspiracy to such a degree that they even discussed the specific details of the types of weapons the undercover agent was interested in buying and importing.” And the interesting fact that Yee is only one of three California Senators indicted this year — all democrats. Forbes also notes what some stories miss, that Yee is specifically charged with dealing in stolen firearms.

conversely, the conservative and gun blogs are exploding in schadenfreude.

See ya in 10 to 20, Mr Yee. Yee is (as mentioned above) a Brady Campaign Honor Roll member (you keep using that word, “honor.” It does not mean what you think it means) and as one might expect is rated 0% by the Gun Owners of California, and D by NRA. (Why not F? Because being an incumbent is worth a letter grade or three to the spaghetti-spines at NRA?).

As the story percolated, unindicted Yee associate Steinberg was quoted telling employees of the thoroughly corrupt State Senate to “hold your heads high” and not “feel down about the institution.” Why?

Yee was dealing arms — stolen guns, automatic weapons, shoulder-fired antiaircraft missiles — to undercover agents he thought were terrorists and criminals for at least three years (the FBI’s had wired people talking to him since 2011). While he was pursuing restrictions on California’s much-abused gun owners. While he was pursuing an end to life sentences for young murderers.

Yee’s pro-murderer language:

When a defendant who was under 18 years of age at the time of the commission of the offense for which the defendant was sentenced to imprisonment for life without the possibility of parole has served at least 15 years of that sentence, the defendant may submit to the sentencing court a petition for recall and resentencing.

If you know the Californistan courts, you know that means than no sub-18 murderer (past or present, as the law is retroactive to free currently incarcerated thuggees) will ever get a sentence of more than 15 years again.

Exit question: what’s going to kill more people, your AR-15, or Yee’s murderers? (Yes, Yee’s bill to release violent yout’s at 15 years, when they still have plenty of good killing years ahead of them, passed both houses and was signed by a delighted Governor Moonbeam).

Vicious cat gets celebrity therapist

Screenshot 2014-03-21 03.05.28

This is Lux, the “violence-prone” cat, who looks perfectly ordinary (and not especially Himalayan). As you can see, he’s behind bars for now. The wannabe therapist, on the other hand, a guy who calls himself Jaxson Galaxy, looks weird indeed. (Don’t take our word for it; follow the link).

We take back everything we ever said about how dopey Portland was, in the case of the crazed cat. The Oregon refuge for weirdos is worse than all that, and the story has taken a further turn for the weird.

In addition, some of the details of the original story seem to stem from the imagination of the so-called “reporters,” rather than from any basis in the world of material fact.

The large cat that attacked a baby and trapped an Oregon family in a bedroom touched off an Internet uproar that worries Jackson Galaxy, star of Animal Planet’s “My Cat from Hell.”
Cats don’t become ferocious felines that turn on their families for no reason, says the cat behavior expert, who is heading to Portland soon to work with the 4-year-old part-Himalayan pet named Lux. Galaxy will film the visit for his show’s fifth season, which kicks off April 26.

via Cat Whisperer To Visit House Cat That Attacked Baby, Trapped Family « CBS Seattle.

Here’s a news story with a snippet of the 911 call (complete with cat screech off mic), and, images of the devil cat his ownself; he doesn’t look especially himalayan (he looks like a domestic longhair, actually) and isn’t 22 pounds either (imagine that, the original news story was full of fabrications. Well, that’s how the news biz rolls).

The cat was put in a shelter, but the family is now saying they want to give him a second chance with the help of the cat whisperer guy.

We wouldn’t go so far as Mr Galaxy, who is reputed to believe that “there are no bad cats.” But we’re sticking to our original conclusion: there’s a pussy in the house, and it’s the guy who let a cat corner him and his family. Good thing the family pet wasn’t a honey badger.

LAPD should have fired these guys for marksmanship alone

LAPD Firearms Instructors on the Job

LAPD Firearms Instructors on the Job. 103 shots, 2 hits, on a person that was not a legitimate target. FAIL.

Remember the Chris Dorner case, where one cop going rogue drove just about every other cop in Southern California rogue? Remember the two incidents of terrified cops blazing away at “suspects” who in no wise resembled Dorner, in vehicles that differed from Dorner’s in make, model, body style, and color, as well as plate number? Remember the multiple magdumps (103 rounds total) by LAPD into the Tacoma with two Filipinas (one middle-aged, one older) delivering newspapers?

Yeah, well, while LAPD Chief Charlie Beck said some bad things about those cops, he didn’t think they were bad enough to actually discipline. The 8 cops that burned that truck down in a textbook case of contagious fire are still on the streets, still armed, and still a menace. Website The Wire notes different treatment for these attempted-murderers and an LAPD cop who merely emailed pictures of some celebrity we never heard of. Guess who got fired, the ones who shot the citizen with their duty guns, or the one who shot a celebrity with her camera phone?

The decision to fire Reyes was made by a disciplinary panel and police chief Charlie Beck in 2012 after a three year investigation into the leak. Enough evidence was found to fire Reyes, but not bring criminal charges against her. Reyes maintained that she did not sell the photo to TMZ, though admitted that it was one of the photos she took that made it to the site.

Meanwhile, the eight LAPD officers who shot 103 bullets into a pick-up truck they believed was being driven by a suspected cop killer were disciplined with additional training. They could have been suspended or even fired, but police chief Charlie Beck — the same man who decided Reyes should be fired — decided that their actions did not warrant such harsh punishment.

Wait, additional training is discipline? That’s the tailpipe emission of a male bovine, LAPD.

Just to be clear: those actions were shooting a truck that was a different make, model and color than the one they were looking for and was driven by two Hispanic women delivering newspapers rather than the one black man with a vendetta against cops. And shooting it 103 times, hitting one of the women twice. The city gave the women $4.2 million and new truck.

It was not just a different make, model and color (and, don’t forget, plate, every cop had Dorner’s plate), it wasn’t even close. The other guy, the surfer whose truck was also destroyed by another SoCal department’s blind and rapid fire, was in an even more radically different vehicle. (He was also rammed by those bozos).

“I sympathize with the officers, but I have a very high standard for the application of deadly force, and the shooting did not meet that standard,” Beck said at the time.

It didn’t meet the standard, Charlie says, but it didn’t fall far enough below that standard to warrant disciplining the cops involved. WTFO? What would it take for a cop to get fired, go full Dorner? Massacre Beck’s family? Oh wait, we do know the answer to that: leak images of a minor celebrity.

So: leaking photos of a famous person who was the victim of a horrific assault is conduct that “places people at risk of injury and the government at risk of incurring liability” and merits dismissal. Shooting two unarmed but not famous women and exposing the city to a $4 million settlement won’t even get you suspended.

What Reyes did was very wrong. Instead of serving and protecting the public, Reyes exposed an abused woman’s injuries to the entire world. She should have been fired for it. But I don’t see how it was worse than what those eight officers did.

via LAPD: Shooting Photos of Rihanna Is Worse Than Shooting Innocent People – The Wire.

This is one truck the LAPD turned into a truck-shaped colander. Two innocents inside were wounded by the grossly negligent officers.

This is the truck the LAPD turned into a truck-shaped colander. Two innocents inside were wounded by the grossly negligent officers.

We’re with the writer of The Wire (whoever that is) on this. But… “one more thing,” to quote that great native Californian, Steve Jobs. Where do these bozos learn to shoot like this? Look at the picture with this post, that’s the victims’ vehicle. And note:

  • The 8 cops who engaged this truck never had a clear target due to the tinted backlight. That didn’t deter them.
  • Despite that, if you’re shooting at people in a truck, you know pretty much where they are. Most of the hits seem to be concentrated at the center mass of the tailgate, and so would have missed the occupants. (As it turns out, this is a good thing, but those eight cops swore that each made an individual, personal decision to fire in response to a clear threat. Obviously, that was “testilying,” something else LAPD apparently encourages. But most of the shots are not within two feet of where the occupants were).
  • And most of the 103 shots fired at the two little ladies in the truck did not even hit the truck. Think about that for a minute. These guys’ shooting sucks so bad they can’t hit a target that’s 6 feet 3 inches wide by 5 feet 6 inches high, from less than 100 feet away, with half their shots. Some of them were firing from less than 20 feet away at the doors of the cruiser, and then closed in on the vehicle to functional contact range, and still missed. The truck.

After a year, Beck admitted that the spray-and-pray cops never had eyes on  target, but one started shooting at a sound; and that the other 7 of them irresponsibly collapsed into contagious fire after a single shot;  and concluded (as has everyone who’s reviewed this abominable performance) that they were in the wrong:

The women inside were delivering newspapers and when one threw a newspaper that hit the ground at a house, an officer thought that sound was a gunshot and opened fire, with seven other officers at the scene joining in, Beck said.

“This incident has been found to be out of policy for all officers involved,” Beck said.

But he elected not to discipline them. That really says it all.

Their biggest failing, of course, was the lack of judgment and discipline that produced the gunfire in the first place. (Judgment will get you in a lot more trouble than marksmanship will, unless you have The Badge of Impunity like these clowns). But consider that their marksmanship — 2 wounds out of 103 rounds fired, neither in the target’s x-ring (thank God), about 1.94% accuracy.

Whoever signed these guys off as safe to go armed is guilty of instructional malpractice.

Curse of the Killer Kitty

Debbil CatEloi. Clueless, witless, harmless, helpless Eloi. They walk among us. In this case, and entire family got treed by a cat. We’ve covered what we see as police overreaction to dogs with dripping contempt here before, but in this case the police were the only thing between a family’s bold patriarch and ten kilograms of hissing death, to wit, their house cat. Albeit not just any cat, it was the most vicious moggy in all Portlandia a cat with a “known history of violence.”

It’s a cat, for Christ’s sake, not a Hells Angels chapter.

How in the name of Niffelheim does a cat get tagged with “a history of violence,” anyway?

Is dope legal in Oregon, or just really widely used?

A rampaging, 22-pound Oregon house cat with a “history of violence” attacked a baby and trapped a family and their dog in a bedroom at their Portland home before being captured by police, authorities said on Monday.

The Sunday evening incident began when the cat, a black-and-white Himalayan, scratched a 7-month-old baby in the face, according to Portland Police Bureau spokesman Sergeant Pete Simpson.

The baby’s father kicked the cat in the backside, which sent it into a rage, and the parents and baby, along with their dog, retreated into a bedroom as the father called police, Simpson said.

Meanwhile, the cat blocked the bedroom doorway and could be heard on the 911 call screeching loudly, Simpson said.

“He said that the cat has a history of violence,” Simpson said, referring to the father speaking to the 911 operator.

via House cat in Oregon attacks baby, traps family in bedroom – Yahoo News.

Earth to Portland: there are cats on this planet that are apex predators, but they dwell in Africa and Asia. Rule of thumb: no wee beastie you can throw can kill you, unless it’s venomous. You would be hard pressed to find a human slain by an example of felix catus, with the admitted exception of unborn infants whose mothers acquire a toxoplasma gonii infection.

Yes, a cat’s claws and teeth can sting. That’s not pain, mate. It’s literally just a scratch. Mind you, you need to take care to irrigate the wound, and watch for infection. The average moggy’s digital microbiome is rich in all kinds of unfriendly microorganisms; claws are almost engineered to incubate small-scale badness.

But dear sweet Jesus in heaven, if we were the guy who had to call the police because his cat backed him into a corner, we’d slink off to the ruins of Great Zimbabwe or some such place, and never show our faces in the civilized world again.

Note that the cops had no difficulty (or at least, no difficulty they couldn’t overcome) in stuffing this supposedly Satanic cat into a cat carrier. (It really should have been youtubed; as anyone who’s ever done it knows, stuffing a cat that would rather not be stuffed, is a lesson in the muscularity and incredibly flexible spinal column of Felix Catus). It can be frustrating for the would-be cat-jammer, and uproariously mirthful for all onlookers, but in the end, persistence always gets the cat in the bag, and we’ve never known anyone to need a transfusion.

(In our experience, it can be helpful with a willful cat to make it crystal clear to him who’s boss. Your mileage may vary).

But seriously, had this complainant no manhood? Twenty years from now, retired cops will still crack each up just beginning the story, “Remember the guy who was cornered by his cat?”

Army Combat Power to be Halved

An abandoned Army barracks -- soon to be a more common sight.

An abandoned Army barracks — soon to be a more common sight.

The determined pursuit of a “peace dividend” where there is none to be had  is likely to cut Army combat power — as expressed by number of combat brigades — approximately in half in the next five years.

Both active-duty and National Guard brigades face the ax, in order to increase funds available for national priorities: so-called poverty programs, corporate welfare for crony capitalists, and other direct payments to individuals.

Gen. John Campbell, the Army’s vice chief of staff and second highest-ranking member, in an interview with The Hill said the service is already planning to make cuts to its combat brigades, basic Army units of 5,000 soldiers that can be deployed and sustain themselves overseas.

Campbell did not say exactly how few active-duty brigades the Army could afford to have with the smaller Army, which is being cut from 510,000 soldiers currently.
But he said the number of brigades would have to be reduced to below 32, the number tied to a troop strength of 490,000. The Army had 45 brigades last year.

“That 32 is tied to 490,000 not 450,000. … At 450,000 or 420,000 we can’t keep the same amount,” Campbell said.

A Feb. 28 report from the Congressional Research Service cited an Army briefing suggesting active-duty brigades could be cut to 24 with an Army of 420,000 soldiers in 2019.

Cutting active-duty brigades by that much could dramatically alter U.S. capabilities overseas.

For example, the Army might not be able to keep two active-duty brigades in Europe.

That would send a negative signal to Eastern Europe, where fears about Russia have grown with that country’s military intervention in Ukraine.

It would leave the Pentagon with much fewer brigades to deploy around the world for military and humanitarian work. It would also reduce opportunities for training, and could limit U.S. support for some international missions.

The Congressional Research Service report said a 420,000-soldier Army would also mean reducing National Guard brigade combat teams (BCTs) to 22.

“An Army force structure of 24 [active] and 22 [reserve] BCTs lacks the capacity to conduct simultaneous major combat operations while defending the nation at home, sustaining minimal presence in critical regions, and retaining a Global Response Force (1 BCT) at the direction of the commander-in-chief,” the paper said.

Nora Bensahel has never served a day in the military, but with Ivy League and Stanford degrees, she knows that's for chumps.

Nora Bensahel, a made gal in the Democratic anti-military establishment, has never served a day in the military. But with Ivy League and Stanford degrees, she knows that’s for chumps.

The following is notable because the Center for a New American Security is a Democrat-partisan, Obama-positive think tank created as an alternative to old-fashioned think tanks that focused on obsolete things like strategy, and not on how awesome President Boyfriend is. And even they are not on board with it:

Nora Bensahel, a senior fellow at the Center for a New American Security, said the impact of cuts would depend on exactly what kind of brigades are cut.

For example, she said, cutting light infantry brigades would mean less capability to conduct counterinsurgency wars, while cutting heavy armored brigades would mean fewer tanks to use in a possible contingency.

“If you have a scenario that requires tanks, and you don’t have enough, our forces will do less well, and more people will get killed,” Bensahel said.

via Army to cut combat brigades | TheHill.

Of course, the “more people will get killed” bit, is all academic to amoral, self-serving parasites like Nora Bensahel, embedded in the Beltway gravy like a tick in an epidermal layer. She’s not going to get killed. Nobody she knows or cares about is going to get killed. It’ll be a bunch of chumps who didn’t even get into a second-tier school, as the Nora Bensahels of the world rate it.

When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will…

You’ll see why we didn’t finish the sentence in the title. And why there’s no picture with this post. Remember yesterday, when we were complaining that the statewide Gun Free Zone that is California was full of depravity, because someone was spearing cats with field-point target arrows? Well, today it’s worse: somebody’s spearing a dog, and he’s not using arrows.

Twice in recent months, the dog’s owner heard his pet shriek during the night in the backyard in the 1900 block of Summerland Avenue. He suspected she was reacting to a prowler. The owner then installed video equipment and was horrified Nov. 10 when he discovered what was on video from earlier that morning. He watched as a man fed the dog something, causing the animal to relax, and sexually assaulted her.

via Mother of San Pedro man accused of sex with dog says she’s sorry.

True, this is an old case (from November). But hey, it lets us bag on SoCal when it’s mid-March here and still in the single digits (F) at night.

While we had before and after pics of Princess the speared cat, kindly bear with is for having no images (and definitely no x-ray) for this one, please. Just thinking about it makes one call for the brain bleach.

According to Palos Verdes patch.com, police technicians ran a rape kit on the poor dog. And Caceres might not have stopped with dogs: he had applied to work in a mortuary. More brain bleach… stat!

As you can probably imagine, the accused doggie diddler is not taking interview requests, but the Press-Telegram did snag an interview with his mother, who turns out not to be canine after all:

The mother of a young man charged with sexually assaulting a San Pedro family’s 80-pound Akita said Wednesday she has apologized to the dog’s owners, but supports her son as he begins moving through the legal process.

“Our prayers are with our son,” said Lisa Caceres, whose 22-year-old son, Christopher Caceres, remained in custody in county jail Wednesday. “My husband and I had no idea. We already spoke to the people and told them the same thing. He needs help, and we are sorry about what happened.”

His mother, who seems like a decent sort, as appalled as the next person at her son’s behavior, is supporting his criminal defense, but she draws the line at reviewing the evidence:

“I have not seen it. I don’t want to see it,” the mother said.

Don’t blame her; us, neither.

The good news is that, if convicted, the dogs of San Pedro could be safe from buggery by Caceres for the length of his incarceration. His sentence might be as high as nine years’ imprisonment. The bad news is that, in California’s revolving door prisons, no one stays locked up except Charles Manson, and we’re not really sure about him. And further bad news:  Caceres is almost certainly not the only sick puppy perpetrating pooch pederasty in the Golden State.

 

Is this gun ad “in poor taste?”

Michelangelo's DavidThat’s what Armalite admits after pulling the ad in a welter of condemnation from various official Italian sources. The ad depicts Michelangelo’s David armed with the David’s Sling of today, a .50-caliber sniper rifle. (The image embiggens).

Here’s a brief take from National Review:

The gun maker ArmaLite ran an ad as part of its “A Work of Art” campaign that features Michelangelo’s David holding a sniper rifle and has come under fire for it — from the Italian government, which owns the statue and claims it’s intellectual property.

In response to the ad, Italian culture minister Dario Franceschini recently tweeted, ”The advertisement image of an armed David offends and violates the law. We will act against the American company to make sure it withdraws the campaign immediately.”

Angello Tartuferi, director of the Accademia Gallery in Florence, where the statue is on display, told La Repubblica newspaper that Italy owned the copyright to David, saying “the law says that the aesthetic value of the work cannot be distorted. In this case, not only is the choice in bad taste but also completely illegal.”

ArmaLite has apologized for the ad and withdrawn it, saying it was “in poor taste.” “We deeply regret that ArmaLite offended anyone by this media campaign,” the company’s statement said. The ad was for the AR-50A1, a .50-caliber sniper rifle.

Now, who knows what evil dwells in the heart of Italian copyright law, but this is certainly not a copyright violation here in the USA.

And, is it in poor taste? We don’t think so. One of 2014′s projects is to build a larger gun room (or, to be accurate, to have one built for us) and we’d love to have a poster of this hanging there.  What do you think?