A cynic might note that if you pay people to track, monitor, handle, arrest, or disrupt terrorists, you’re going to have more “terrorists” than you can shake a stick at. And the cynic might be right, because an unusually broad and eclectic range of terrorists have been in the headlines lately. Nazis. Jihadis. Trailer trash. Et cetera, et cetera. Unfortunately, they haven’t been making the news the way we like: with a couple of Seal Six guys conducting a cable-news war of attrition, about who gets the credit for capping them.
German Nazi Terrorists!
Spanning the world, to bring you a look at the wide range of dysfunctional and degenerate humanity that gets stickered with the all-purpose cautionary label, “terrorist.” First, we’ve got a neo-Nazi woman terrorist in the dock in Germany. So they’re not entirely a creation of nebbishy Hollywood screenwriters’ bad dreams! Who knew? The Nazis and their wannabes were pretty much extinct in the Bundesrepublik before the Wiedervereinigung, but they’re back like the raptors in a weaker Jurassic Park sequel – “the second time, as farce.” Only it probably wasn’t funny to their victims. No better place to learn about Nazis than Der Bloomführer’s news agency:
The trial of Beate Zschaepe, a member of a neo-Nazi cell accused of a series of xenophobic murders, opened in Munich today — after weeks in which public attention focused more on the court’s media policy than the charges.
The National Socialist Underground, or NSU, allegedly killed the 10 people as part of a plan to terrorize minorities and force them to leave the country. Eight of those murdered between 2000 and 2006 were of Turkish origin. The others were a Greek man and a German policewoman. The killing spree came to light in November 2011 after Zschaepe’s companions, Uwe Boehnhardt and Uwe Mundlos, committed suicide in a camper van in eastern Germany.
For some reason, the Bloom Shirts think this trial is not about murders, but about the Germans having insulted the Holy Media. What next, they cooked their schnitzel in trans fats?
Times change; we remember when NSU in Germany meant an interesting, but undependable, car, with a Wankel engine before Wankels were cool — before Mazda applied Japanese reliability engineering to the design, and made it stop emitting blue oil smoke.
Boston Jihad Terrorists!
There’s all kinds of news about Flashbang and Speedbump, but we’re mostly interested in the how, and in laughing about how the media are puzzled by the glaringly clear why. One more piece of the puzzle comes in with the probable time and location of their test blasts, along with some new potential accessories/co-conspirators, coming to light. See here on ViralRead and more analysis of probabilities at the Jester’s page. (Any successful bomber tends to have done tests, and that’s usually very important to putting the sonofallah away).
Minnesota trailer-trash “terrorist”!
The FBI is calling this loser a “terrorist,” but it seems like the word doesn’t mean what they think it means. He’s a 24-year-old career small-time criminal who apparently intended to off someone or -ones with an illegally owned AK and a collection of molotovs and pipe bombs. In other words, he was a typical resident of South Side Chicago, a state or two out of place.
It’s almost as if someone gave the Bureau the Word to “find some terrorist who never cared what direction Mecca is in.” And they did!
Geezer Hippie Terrorist!
And the poster child for the narcissistic-rich-kids’-tantrum-of-the-seventies, the Weather Underground, Bill Ayers, made an appearance at Kent State to hog the spotlight in classic Baby Boomer fashion, and say his years of terror bombing were just a sensible, legitimate reaction to the horrors of the Vietnam War. He now claims that various bombs that failed to kill people were not intended to kill people. (So why did he pack them with shrapnel… was he trying to be a high-explosive Jackson Pollock?)
Even as a terrorist, Ayers was more jacked up than Flashbang and Speedbump. He was a Gilbert & Sullivan revolutionary.
But we shouldn’t lose sight of his intentions, of which he repents not. Let’s even take him at his word, that Vietnam animated his terrorism, but let’s unpack what he means by that. Remember, this crumb was on the side of the people who left 5,000 dead civilians, hands bound, in mass graves in Hue in Tet ’68. He stood with the functionaries who introduced the words Re-Education Camp to international discourse. His objection to to our efforts in Vietnam was to the delay in his side’s program of mass murder and brainwashing. If his guys were any better than Hitler, we’re damned if we can see how.
Most pitiful: his attempt to sell himself as young. One of the most unseemly of the Boomers’ pathologies is their endless and futile quest for youth. Gramps, you’re retirement age. Retire already.
And worse, Terrorologists!
And just when you thought it was safe to go back into the water, we get the word that smacked-down phony SF/Ranger/Spetsnaz-shovel-slinger and self-credentialed “terrorologist,” not to mention the world’s only expert in hostage negotiation that’s gotten that way without training or experience, is back on the scene again, selling his dubious expertise. Yep, John Giduck, PhD, which in his case stands for Phony Douchebag even though he’s also a Doctor of Philosophy from some overseas diploma mill, is baaaack… and trying to weasel out of the attorneys’ fees he was ordered to pay after his last SLAPP suit. Supposedly, he’s now an expert in Chechnya. Well, it alliterates with Cha-Chingg! we guess.
Paying John Giduck to share his knowledge with you is right up there with lending Flashbang and Speedbump your pressure cooker.