There are murders that are just the routine day-by-day slovenly lives of the ghetto. And there are murders that shock the conscience. And there are murders that make you wonder what the hell the Burger Court was thinking when they limited the application of the death penalty to people like these two pictured rotters who just. Need. Killing.
But let’s begin with a moment of silence for one of their victims, Josh Wetzler, and his mother, Martha, from WSOC-TV in Charlotte, NC:
Martha Wetzler… last spoke to her son in June 2009.
….soon after his disappearance… police started looking into Pazuzu Algarad – a self-proclaimed Satanist.
Algarad’s home in Clemmons is painted with pentagrams, and his tongue is surgically forked.
Family members said he bragged about killing people and burying them in his backyard.
Boy howdy, is this guy sending all the signals of “I’m’a gonna get me SSDI for unemployability!” or what?
Neckbeard… check. Jobstopper tattoos and body mods… check. Phony-baloney name, “Pazuzu Algarad”… attention-whoring check. Bogus scary religion that says “look at me, I’m a unique and special snowflake”… check. Boasting about killing people, and boasting about where he buried them… freakin’ priceless.
Five years ago, police searched the backyard and found nothing.
Never underestimate the detective ability of PC Plod.
Recently, there was another murder investigation at the same home.
Meanwhile, five years of boasts about the deaders in the yard, so Plod comes back to look again.
This time, they found the remains of Joshua Wetzler and another man, Tommy Welch.
Algarad allegedly killed Wetzler, and Algarad’s wife, Amber Burch, allegedly killed Welch, according to arrest warrants.
Ah, so that’s where the body was… where the murderer said he left it! Imagine that. As Martha Wetzler notes, “They couldn’t have searched very well.”
Of course, imagine PC Plod finding poor Wetzler’s remains back in 2009. Algarad would be in Alcatraz (or the nearest thing NC has thereto) and Tommy Welch would not be any deader than the rest of us.
Algarad and Burch are each charged with one count of murder and one count of accessory after the fact to murder, police said.
Authorities believe the couple helped each other bury the bodies.
Young romance, it’s so… special. How tragic that these two beauties will be confined in separate prisons.
Fortunately, the ACLU will help them get a Satanist chaplain (think we’re making that up?) and who knows, maybe they’ll be able to rack up a few more human sacrifices whilst they’re in the slammer.
Of course, don’t they need some test dummies for ebola treatments? What Would China Do?